Bill

I think that will be his name. He is here. We spent the day together today we chit chatted about video games. house stuff, food, rules and chores. He also got tortured with his first trip to Costco.
It is weird because I know he knows his mom is going to TPR. He also knows that his worker was looking for an adoptive home for him. But I do not want to make the assumption that he will be adopted by us or that everything will work out. I know that there is a honeymoon period. I can HOPE that things work out. I can hope that we get to adopt him but it also feels awkward to say things that may make him feel like we are just "taking him for a test drive" and if we do not like him we will send him packing.
He seems like a good kid all around. We will see how things go but my gut feeling says it is a good fit ;)

The relative placement is

causing some problems apparently. So they have to remove (boy who STILL needs a nickname) bright and early in the morning. UGH Only problem I have to get out of here after my kids get off to school for Bear's ENT appointment at children's!! UGH so scheduling will be hellish.
wish me luck I HATE to think of him sitting in the DSHS office for hours

Liam

Well as soon as I get the authorizing signature from his adoption worker Liam will be having surgery. His appointment at the ENT today was short and sweet a look in the throat and a "wow" and "yes those have to come out" . My suspicions that Liam has large adenoids was correct. However his tonsils are so enlarged they are almost touching as well. So both will come out.

Leaving on a jet plane

OK so we aren't but I tell you dh and I have been talking about taking a vacation. This one is aside from the one we are taking as a family next year to colorado. We are talking about him and I getting away just US. We have never taken a vacation together alone can you believe that. So we have been talking that for our fifteenth anniversary we will jet away on a vacation. but where to? Should we fly into flights to New York for a weekend getaway? Maybe. Or maybe we will fly into europe and do a 10 day cruise there. This is my current front runner!! Finding cheap flights though can be a callenge! I really do think that we want more of a longer vacation. But you know maybe I will take a spa getaway in themeantime. No one can fault a mom of 5...almost 6 ok then 7........ for doing that can they??

First irritation

Well DH is active duty military. No biggie. But since the military offers adoption reimbursement for norecurring costs the state won't cover it. With me so far? Well we have NO clue who to go to for this. Neither does our adoption worker nor dh's chain of command UGH So I call legal. I have to explain the situation to two different people. Their solution?? Come in for an appointment. This means I have to drive all the way down there for an appointment that will more than likely prove to be a waste of time. I will get in to speak to legal they will say OH well so 'n' so takes care of this.
The saga will continue.....

Drug addiction

It is amazing to me what some of the kids in the system have been through. they have been put through so much because of their parents (for the most part). I truly think that anyone can overcome drug addiction. That is if they want to and if they take the right steps and have the right mindset. Finding the right support is key. Heck now people can access drug forums to discuss detox and treatments etc.

Oh man!

I have the House rules speech geared more toward the 7 and under crowd! I need to revamp it for (boy who has yet to be nicknamed).
-respect others
-respect yourself
-respect your things and the things of others
-one per bed
-no touching of anyones 'private areas' (which leads to the yours is yours do what you want just do it in private)
-explination of what "in private" means
-food rules ask before you take. take only what you will eat

What else should I include?


I need to sit and talk with (boy who has yet to be nicknamed) about what his expectations are re allowance. And come to a compromise.
We need to reassign/redistribute chores. discuss bed times TV and gaming rules.
Ummmmm I think that is it?

The phone call

Well the phone call with... ummm I have yet to think of a nickname for him yet! Well it went well. We chatted about video games and food typical pre-teen boy stuff. I was laughing so hard. My son piped up and said "tell him we have a lot of food!" He says "Well you don't have to worry about that I can take care of that. I love to eat!" lol
After the convo I had to leave to get #1 son from his appointment. The SW called in the time I was gone. I just got back to her. She told me she was impressed. I asked about what. Apparently this little guy has never laughed like he did today with me on the phone! He was laughing we were talking etc. I had fun. Anyway he told the SW he is looking forward to the move and living here.
I guess we sound 'cool' LMAO
So again DH is out...he will come home to another kid!!
He knew about him before he left though. I am excited! Wow. While he isn't a teen, he was an older kid who was harder to place. So I guess my desire to adopt a teen is pretty much fufilled. :) I think we were meant to stay in foster care for this guy. My tune may change... but we will see. It feels like a good fit and I have no reservations.
Oh the SW said that she hopes things work out since they are going through TPR right now and hopes we will want to adopt him :)

It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well folks the 12 y/o will be here Friday!!!!!
I am going to talk to him on the phone this afternoon. We are all excited!

Have you ever had....

One of those DUH moments?
We have one Alaskan Native placement and the 12y/o we are looking at is also AN. I was thinking how strange they have last names that are similar and are very Russian sounding. DUH Alaska/Russia they are what a stones throw from one another??

Blogs

Also don't forget I post on my other blog often http://blog.gina8724.com/ It s more family stuff and some to do with the pregnancy. Well mostly the pregnancy ;)

Room shift.

OK in anticipation of the 12 year old maybe moving in we did a little proactive room shifting. The 2 y/o is in with the 6 month old.
The 9 y/o is in the room with the 12 y/o only tonight because all of his bedding is still in the wash (oops). They DO NOT like one another. The love each other do not get me wrong but they cannot share a room. The 12 y/o is acting about 5 y/o in his pissing and moaning about his brother sleeping in his room for ONE NIGHT! ugh almost two hours of COMPLAINTS!
A glass of wine would be great now. Someone out there in blogland have one for me OK?

The 15 y/o

Will not be coming to live with us. Yes I am a little disappointed. BUT.....dang there is my big butt again ;p . Today I get a desperate email of kids needing placement in our area from our placement coordinator. I read through the kids, some with chronic problems some SA cases even one that was listed as an offender. Sigh that is a lot of no's in one email. Then we get to the last one. A 12y/o NA (Alaskan Native actually) boy who is a bit reserved and shy. Hey look at that he is available for adoption and is coming from a relative placement...hmmm I want more info. I get more info hmm placement paperwork gives minimal info UGH. I email the coordinator back and say ok based on this I am interested but need MORE info. I get the workers # we talk and well... This kid aside from being a bit withdrawn and a bit too much into video games (a coping mechanism he was the family caretaker...he used video games to be a kid) he sounds WONDERFUL. And JUST like our oldest but without the emotional problems and rages etc (thank you Bipolar disorder sigh) He has family in the area. And the worker would like us to "consider" letting that continue. OK we do that already with Liam.
We are attempting to arrange a meeting this weekend or early next week :)

We have become one of THEM

No no body snatchers references or anything. Have you ever watched the shows on the Duggars? Or those other large families with 7+ kids. You know how they say after church they will come out to their car and there will be bags of clothes left there or they come home and there are clothes on the doorstep? yeah well that has been us. Hahaha We come home today to a large bag of clother with the name of our 9 y/o and 5y/o on it :) I think it is sweet. They know the kids are well dressed but they know some more would not hurt ;)

Good kid

Or maybe I have ruined him. My oldest and I were having Mom and son time just chatting about his day.
He says "So Mom do you know if I am having a brother or sister yet?"
Me:"Nope no idea, it is too early"
Him:"Oh well I hope it is a boy"
Me:"Really? why?"
Him:"well because it would be cheaper to have a boy"
Me:"cheaper?"
Him:"Yeah I mean you have all of the boys clothes and stuff. with a girl you would have to buy ALL KINDS of stuff"
Me:"OK I can understand that. But you know I can buy things not brand new and get good deals"
Him:"I know but still, who wants to go through all of that? I just hope it is a boy"

Ok kiddo we got your order ;)
I am glad he is looking out for our finances hehehee

One last visit

I am not happy about it. To be honest DH and I are a touch uneasy about it all together.
Liam came to us from a disrupted adoptive placement. About a year and a half at this home, bonding with the parents, bonding with the brother in the home. The mother called Liams adoption worker and stated that she wasn't sure things were working out and that he just never "gets it" and then a couple of days later it came down to remove him now. He came here as an emergency foster placement. The mother did this all while the father was out of town. He had no idea the brother was at school and came home to no brother.
Now Liams worker asked if we were willing to let the father and brother, possibly the mother have another visit. Dh and I discussed it. We are torn. We believe it may be closure for Liam to be able to say goodbye. We also are worried after these months of work with him he will revert back to waiting to go back to live with his brother (no talk of the mom or dad). He may get confused by the whole thing.
Well we said we were willing to do one LAST visit to say goodbye. I am bitter about the way they handled things and how much they hurt this little guy! He isn't good enough for you so you "return him" then you want to say goodbye and open up wounds again?
I know bios are given the endless opportnities to screw a kid up but should a disrupted adoptive placement be given the same?
Pooey to the whole thing

Updates

I know some of these are long overdue. I really AM sorry. Things went from busy to me not being home.
OK the UW-
The ultrasound, it all still amazes me seeing the baby moving and kicking etc. The measuremtns (the NT test) was textbook perfect. Under a 3.0 is ok. Anything over 3.0 is cause for concern. My measurement was a 1.5! the little one was measuring 4 days ahead. The NT ultrasond has to be done in comjunction with an intergrated blood screen. So I am waiting for those results to get the official results.
The day after the trip to the UW I went back to my regular OB. I was weighed and taken back but as soon as the doctor saw me he said I needed to be seen by a pulmonologist. A little background I have had what I classify as a purely annoying cough. The doctor found nothing wrong so a little caugh medicine and orders to rest "as much as you can with five kids" was what i got. It worsened the two days prior and the day of my exam. Apparently I looked and sounded really bad. I was taken down for an xray and then to a pulmonologist. After exams and then a couple of breathing treatments (5 hours later) I was allowed to go home. But I was given 4 MORE prescriptions (for all who are counting that is 13 per DAY!!! no worries though a few are vitamins ;) ) So now I am on a nebulizer with treatments 4+ times per day. The good news, it is clearing out my lungs a lot! I can talk again-the kids are none too happy about that and I can breathe without as much pain! So bonus plus!
Liam had soccer pictures done. i cannot wait to get them back. How corny is that?
I am tired and run down BIG time. But feeling better. I am sick of being sick, no really I am

and there it is...

My appetite. It is slowly coming back! I have not wanted to eat much of anything. But yesterday... turkey swiss rolls from Costco YUMMY and they settled well. today cheese curds and maple nut fudge...yes together. Does the fact the fudge came from the farmers market make it healthier?? No?? I didn't think so. But a girl can try.

tomorrow I have to trek back down to the university to have a NT ultrasound . It is not my idea of a great time BUT I will get to see our little one again :) I am confident things are OK. But with the hell we went through last time this is being done now to bpass any issues. Last pregnancy they told me there was a problem with the baby when in fact the tech did the scan outside of the proper timeline. It was weeks of sheer torture for nothing. They university is doing it themselves this year :)
Tuesday I go to my regular doctor for my regular prenatal appointment. So I went one whole week without a doctor appointment. haha

Liam had his first ever soccer game on Saturday. He did so well!!! I am super proud of him. He came really close to scoring a goal. I know I know close doesn't count but still. tomorrow He is in class. I am hoping my appointment does NOT run long so I can be home for him to get home. My sitter cancelled GRRRRRRRRR And I have to take 2 kids to an appointment they shouldn't even be at.

My day

Maybe I should title this "you know your day is bad when....."

I left the house today dressed in capris with ONE leg shaved! How did I not notice?

shhhhhh

Wow this is amazing. My three oldest are in school today. Liam was more excited than I have ever seen him. He has been looking forward to riding the bus since the day he got here.
My 9y/o, well he has to take a special bus to the gifted program. So our regular bus driver gets confused when he doesn't get on her bus 4 days a week. On another note he LOVES the new program. He said "Mom I love it! We have free reign. I can be as creative or move as fast as I want. None of the teacher doing the 'blah blah blah' repeating the same stuff over and over again. The teacher gives us our assignment and we do it how WE want to" I really think this program (thus far) is a perfect fit for him and his learning style.
My oldest. Well he is TRYING really hard. he is starting off the school year making an effort. Getting things done. doing things with enthusiasim. I can cross my fingers this will last. With his social and large group difficulties he is back on the special ed bus to and from school. He was NOT happy about it. But as much as I hate to say it... this is better for him AND my sanity and I pushed for it to happen. Though do not tell him that because he would hate me for a long time.
I am REALLY looking forward to my 2y/o starting preschool next fall! He will love it. He is a smart cookie but he will do well with more same age play/interaction.

Nice

Our school district now has an online resource where you can add money to the kids lunch accounts, check their lunch money balance or in the case of the older kids, order a yearbook or buy an ASB card etc.
Nice to be able to do that from home 24 hrs a day. We all know that kids soetimes cannot seem to make sure the check makes it to the office or they lose cash... this works nicely

If you don't live it...

You never really know.

You sit there and judge me from the snippets of my life that you see.
My child is out of hand?
A good spanking would help him? I will have to let the mental health community know that both bi-polar and Aspergers can be cured by an "ass whoppin'".
And yeah I hate to tell you, no that "type of child" is not what we "get" from the system. Sorry to kill your theory but he is my biological child. Luck of the draw buddy. He was BORN this way with no wrong doing of my own. I didn't drink or do drugs. The way things worked. My son was born with some problems.
To all of you who think that the genetic tests can prevent you from having a "messed up child". Think again. You never know.
You have no idea how many nights I have spent crying in desperation. how many times I thought "what else can I do? what did I do wrong?". I have never given up. I have never tried to place blame elsewhere. NOT even on my son. He did not chose to be this way. I know he would give anything to be accepted by his peers. To fit in, to not be the outcast. But that will never happen. Our best outcome... is he can function at a close to normal level. THAT is OK with me. I love my son I love how creative he is. I love that he can pick up most any musical instrment and teach himself to play. He is a writer and an artist. I know his love of thos things will take him far in life.
With that being said...having been through this and living through this for years that I have more tolerance and understanding for people who have troubled kids. I just wish others would take a broader look before passing judgement.

Punishment update.

I LOVED the community service idea. In essence he DID take from the community. I explained AGAIN that stealing from a store hurts the whole community in the form of rraised prices on goods sold.
He is participating in 2 weeks of community service here. He will ALSO be doing the same at his biodads.
So far he dug a ditch for a neighbor and cleaned his friends room (that was funny). We have plenty of elderly neighbors he can help them with yard work or getting ready for winter.
THANK YOU for the ideas

YUMMY

Well a neighbor came by and gave us a salmon he caught today :) Nothing like fresh caught salmon for dinner.