still

no contact. But with the holidays and all I don't expect anything until near my birthday (which is the 11th for you gift buying types ;p ). The house is getting in order. Just keeping it there is key.

Giving

Well we went and bought presents for the foster boys. My boys picked out 4 outfits for each boy a couple of books for each boy and about 6 toys for each boy. Of course we got their requested itemmmm toothbrushes! I wish I could have bought twice as much. To be honest I had a ton of fun so did the boys.

Then fast forward a few days.... I get an email fron the placement coordinator of one of the boys. She was asking where in the spproval process we were for possible placement of this boy IN OUR HOME. WOW I get an email from the fcurrent foster mom too. I reply back to the worker that we were just buying for a child in need our intention wasn't to get him placed in our home or anything but we would like to know more about the boy before saying No or yes. Well She is now on vacation until after Christmas. It turns out yesterday there was a meeting about this boy and his future. We were brought up as an option for placement and they wanted to expedite our license!! This boys worker called our worker and her supervisor as well to help push things along.
It is all a whirlwind to me and totally amazing ok and amazingly odd lol. I am just curious about the boy and if he would be a good placement here etc. So I am waiting to hear SOMETHING.

Nothing

Yeah still no contact from DSHS. Maybe they are awaiting all of my referrals to come back? Who knows. But man oh man I would like to know how things are going. I guess I could look at it this way. No news means nothing is wrong right? That means we are not mising any paperwork or anything.

bluuuuuuueeee rooooommmmm

you saw me standing aloooone. OK not close but here is the room I need to get the bed of course and hang the pictures back up...

Done

Well the room is painted. It is very blue :) But with the bedding set and the colors of the furniture it will be very nice :) The fact that my son likes it is the most important. I have some sore muscles and a hurt foot. But that is about it.
I have to wait on the funding to but the mattresses too that is the pain. and let me say, DAMN mattresses are expensive. I want to know how those decorating shows do those things for so darn cheap? With the beds and paint and bedding and mattresses....about $1500.

#1's room is next paint, a bed and a mattress at least his will only be about $600 ish.

Good news we are getting furniture that will grow with the kids so we won't have to keep buying

OMG

I am at the point where the deeper I get into reorganizing the more overwhelmed I feel. I know part of it is my anxiety so I do my best to make sure I do not let it really overwhelm me. That could turn into an aniety attack. I have really been using my skills well to control them. I am trying to take one step at a time and I realize that DSHS is not looking for perfection. They are just looking for a safe home.

the beds

Will be here.... About Tuesday!! woohoo. Good news and bad news though. I really need to step up my work on little mans room. I am REALLY trying to get him to clean up the little mini disaster area I found under his bed EEEK. But he is resisting me every step. He makes things so hard because he stalls so darn politely! lol I love him to bit but I am about to tear out my hair. I refuse to clean his room entirely by myself THEN paint THEN put the bed together etc. HECK no. I clean my room he should clean his right? Maybe I should hire out LOL

I know

the location of every reference....as in I know that they have them except for one. The one reference we have in WA!!! lol

And let me say the reference letter is pretty in depth! I had to fill one out it was I think six simple questions long. The one for WA is about 15 questions some questions are multi question questions. A HUGE thank you to my references for taking all of the time!

Great!

Well our reference in South Carolina got her letter on Saturday as well! So they are all out :) Some progress is being made :)

references

Well my Mom got her reference letter from DSHS! That means that my other references should have theirs soon! It is moving along. The odd thing we still have not been contacted lol. So had it not been for my Mom letting me know she got her letter I would have no clue progress was being made haha

CHECK!!!!

Ok my to do/to buy list is quickly turning into a DONE list.


-fire place screen BOUGHT
-Locking file cabinet BOUGHT
-Waterproof matress pads. BOUGHT
-First aid kit BOUGHT (got a first responder kit)
-fire extinguisher BOUGHT
-Bunk beds BOUGHT
-Car seat GOT IT I got an infant one and will get another convertible seat as well

Race, ethnicity and adoption

It was a question on the adoption paperwork that I struggled the most. I could easily answer the question about if I had a problem parenting a child who was gay or lesbian. No problem. I mean how would I know even if one obio kids were? Well The boys couldn't be lesbians but you get my drift. Would I love them less? No way. Would I think less of them? Nope
But when it came to the question do I feel I could effectively parent a child of a different racial background.... I struggled with it. I put it off until the end of everything. I come from a VERY racially mixed background. My stepfather was african american (we he still is...just not my stepfather anymore) So I have that influence of his family growing up. My oldest son is part Korean. That is just a touch on the racial diversity I have known.
So parenting a child of a different race should be no problem right? Well I am not sure I (we) could properly raise an African American boy to be a strong black man. A strong man SURE. But he also would need more than we could provide when it comes to making him culturally aware.
Am I wrong? Does it make me a bad person for thinking this?

First aid

I am debating....with myself so I am not sure if that can be considered a debate HMMM Anyway, I have a basic first aid kit. I need a new one I am considering getting a first responder kit. It is a little more but it truly has EVERYTHING in it.

So now I considering dropping about $100 on the darn kit.

This one Has Everything required and then some

This one Is the bare minimum and I will have to add a few things

HUGE price difference huh? So which do I go for? hmmmm

OK

Well there are lots of changes here in the state with the foster care system. Changes in everything from which case worker covers which area, which creates an issue that the woman DH had the interview with may not be our worker and that interview may have been for nothing! GRRR To changes in the outside agencies that are contracted with the state. Can I say how delightful it is to be entering this process at this point??
The outside agency that is supposed to assist people through the whole application and approval process their website is not even up the person who covers our area quit after 2 weeks. I am glad we were able to muddle our way through the paperwork and didn't need much help hahaha.

If we were approved today....

I would put in a request to be considered for this little boy he seems like the perfect fit for our family doesn't he? I am sure though by the time we are approved he will have found a home. GREAT for him but darnit. I know we are looking for a sibling group but then a child like this comes up and really gets your interest!

the papers

Are in the MAIL!! They should get them at DSHS probably tomorrow! Of course just in time for the holidays grrr. I hope my references get their paperwork early next month. BUT that may be hoping too much maybe??

Bureaucracy

once again may I express my distaste for bureaucracy, the amount of paperwork required is a pain in da butt. its not really that much but some of it needs "outside" resources Ie medical etc. and thats a pain. that is all just annoyed.

To do

I need to buy:
-A fireplace screen (if worker requires one since the gas is turned off to the fireplace)
-a LOCKABLE file cabinet
-another fire extinguisher
-waterproof mattress pads/covers
-bunk beds (at least one full/full bed)
-carseat (replace Grady's with a Britax and use his for foster child)

Not a bad list to be honest. Not too much to buy or do to get ready for the home study.

I need to... write my fire evacuation plan, get mine and DH's medical report, mail in my application packet on Monday and get the 4 of my WONDERFUL references to return their paperwork.

OK

A touch of funny irony here. I watch Sesame Street With my youngest every day. Would you like to know the topic of the last couple of shows? Gina adopted a son from Guatemala! hahaha Funny no. Gina Adopting perfect!

I am

finished with the pre-service classes!! Thank the Lord I am DONE. It was eye opening and informative but I am still glad it is over.
You want to know a disturbing statistic here in WA state? In 2005 there were over 79,000 children who were in the foster care system for various reasons. There were ONLY 5,300 licensed foster homes. That means on average each home would have more than 14 children per year, that is IF they all worked at capacity of 6 children at once.
It makes me want to have more room so we could foster some children as well.

Done

DH and DS#1 got their CPR/First Aid/BBP certifications today so one more CHECK on our list of things to do

one more thing

My friends told me about this sibling group of SEVEN in her state. She was inquiring about them. When dh called last night I said "Honey how about this group. Here are the ages.... 11,9,7,4,2,1 and zero." dh said "Whaaaaa???" ME: "yeah a sibling group of seven" DH: "will they let us adopt that many?" hahaha Not No way in hell but "will they let us adopt that many?"! hahaha

surprised

Family has actualy really surprised me through this whoel adoption process. We let our family know (our Moms). My Mother in law, whom I love DEARLY (as rare as that is)was very excited that we were adopting. My Mom who I expected to hem and haw about it was also very supportive!
I was talking on the phone with my MIL yesterday and our adoption process came up. She was saying how it breaks herheart when siblings are broken up. When I told her we were looking into a sibling group she actually cheered! She thinks it is great. And here one comment?? "Woohoo I am going to have a lot of grandkids!" She also told me that she had wanted to adopt when she and FIL were married and her two kids were young. She lost one child in between my SIL and DH. She had a VERY rough time having DH and we are lucky he is alive. The reason she didn't adopt? FIL. He didn't want to raise "kids that weren't his own". So she gave up on it.
She also told me a story about when dh was little. He knew of a family who came under hard times. He went home and asked his Mom if they could get a basket of food/Thanksgiving dinner for them. They ended up getting the whole thing together and dh took it over to the family. He was as giving as he is now back then :)

12 pages

Well I got our personal information packets in the mail today. 12 pages about me. I wouldn't think I could write so much about myself. I also hope that the issues with marriage my Mom and Dad had don't haunt us in our hope to adopt. My dad was on wife #4 when he died and my Mom went through divorce #3 two years ago.
The good news I guess our marriage currently is longer than any of the ones they had lol

Little did I know

What DSHS has on their website is not entirely true. We will have to go through orientation in person. I asked if it mattered that I was doing it out of order since our preservice is next Tuesday. Nope take it "whenever" lol.

I also got my fire esacpe ladder. It is one of the last few things I have to buy.
Now more flashlights and waterproof mattress pads.

ONE week

Yes folks one week until our pre-service training classes. WOOHOO

Oh on the front of my husband leaving next month. I called in and he has an appointment Nov 7th to go through his interview. She (the worker) is sending the personal information packet early so he has time to work on it prior to the interview. I will get the packet at the pre-service training but she wanted him to have it now.
So a big hurdle is averted.

So hmmm what do I do?

I have 3 beds for the youngests room. Yes 3! I have a bunkbed which can be used as two twins and I have a crib. Not knowing what our placement may be when we adopt I do not know what to put up!!!
Dh is going to HATE me. I have decided to other twin, the crib and the dresser all need to be moved to the garage. So I will have everything ready when it is needed be it a bed or crib.Then I can easily move it up into the room and tada we will be ready. I bought some hooks that we can put on the rafters and hang the bed pieces from there. I say I a lot but umm yes I mean my husband. If I can get that done BEFORE he leaves again it would be golden.

I was/am worried

Would you like to know about what? That we will be denied due to me being on anti-anxiety medications. I am also on a mild blood pressure medication (the two conditions are realated). I am generaly healthy. Healthy enough that my doctor Ok'd us trying to have a baby of our own. So I would assume or hope (???) that she would also OK me to be healthy enough to adopt right?

2 weeks!

Well it is two weeks until I start PRIDE classes. This areas pre-service training classes for foster care and foster-to-adopt. Time is FLYING

Shopping

This is so weird. I continualy check out NWAE for the availible children for adoption in our area. I kid you not I feel a little weird because I feel like I am shopping for a child!
I know it isn't like that I know it is all about finding a child that will fit into your family. But it is weird to browse through children looking for one or more you may want.

I am also aware that not all of the children available for adoption are listed on the site. There may be a child(ren) that fit us perfectly behind the scenes ;)

This makes sense...NOT

It’s important to register newborns and adoptees in DEERS to establish TRICARE eligibility for essential well-baby and pediatric health care. By registering your newborn or adopted child in DEERS, you may avoid potential claims problems.



When Does TRICARE Cover Newborns and Adoptees and Pre-Adoptees?

As long as another family member is enrolled in Prime, TRICARE Prime covers

Newborns for 60 days beginning from the date of birth;
Adopted children for 60 days beginning from the effective date of the actual adoption; and
Pre-adoptive children for 60 days beginning on the date of placement of the court or approved adoption agency.

So from placement to finalization is longer than 60 days right? OK got that. But The last two rules are just confusing and maybe contradicting. I am thinking that I will have to talk to a real person who can translate it into ENGLISH! lol

darn just missed it

second post...
Ok so this is where we will be posting our thoughts and pondering questions about adoption. My first observation... the government makes it entirely to complicated to adopt. Why? because its the government. hmm so when do we get our parenting license? oh wait you don't have to have one. but there sure is a lot of other things, btw none of which you have to do if you have your own kids. hmmm makes you wonder.

First post

I figure I would start this blog off with answers. Answers to questions we have been asked several times already.

Why? We have three boys whom we love VERY much (I am speaking for my husband here a bit too). They are wonderful little men. Each child has their own strengths and weaknesses. Each we see a bright future but something different for each. But we do not feel our family is complete.

Could we have more children biologicaly ? Yes probably. We would have to seek treatments for infertility. Something we could do, but something I cannot do anymore. It is too stressful and puts my body through too much.

Are we doing this JUST to get a girl?NO Actualy a sibling pair of boys would be fine. We are not going into this with a specific 'this is the child we want' in mind.

why foster care?To be honest, there are SO many children needing caring,loving homes. I do not feel the need to seek out an infant or go to another country to adopt.

How many children do you want?!?!?!We are looking at it this way, two more would be great. Three more we would be done.

So you are looking for a baby then? Not necesarily. We saw a sibling pair of 3 with the oldest being 16 and the youngest was 3. We would definitely love to be considered for them. We would not turn away an infant though.

So that is a semi-introduction in a nutshell.