Thursday, November 29, 2007

Liam update

Well folks the impossible has happened. OK OK Not impossible but hmm maybe long awaited? Not that long awaited either since he just arrived in June. But we have our official adoption date!!! We will be in front of the judge on Dec 17th so say "we do" haha. It was supposed to be on National Adoption Day and then It WAS going to be the 0th But we had to get a certain judge. So the 17th it is!
I cannot wait!

Mr Depp

to his friends haha. Through the years he has done a lot of screen work. Heck I have very fond memories of 21 Jumpstreet. Do you know that I looked around school and wondered who the undercover was? Yeah I lead a lonely childhood haha.
Looking back at his movies though it is hard to pinpoint what my favorites are. Edward Scissorhands has to come in one of the top slots. I love Tim Burton films anyway. A bit dark with a bit of deep thought required to get everything ;) I appreciate a good thought movie as much as I appreciate a good old sit and do not have to think except for mindless violence or comedy (hence the term mindless haha). But I loved the emotion. The loss of his father. The wanted to be accepted by normal society. Yet that normal society was far from normal. The manicured to perfection lawns the cookie cutter houses, the perfect on the outside and dysfunctional as the rest of us on the inside families. The to find love... ahhh darn movie makes me cry each and every time!
Then again one of his more recent movies Pirates of the Carribean. Oh my goodness some yummy pirate action! Ok I will be the first to admit, I could do without the eyeliner!! But the action and the one liners I love it. Plus I have a 5 year old who is absolutely obsessed with all things Pirates and Wants to be Captain Jack Sparrow when he is done being and Army Man and then a firefighter haha. The Priate outcast. Never really thought that was even possible haha I thought an outcast pirate was an outcast pirate.
It is hard to pick one I like more. I like each for a different reason. But I think I could watch Pirates untilmy eyeballs fall out. And my five year old tests that haha
Now imagine my surprise when the other day I saw a trailer for Sweeny Todd!! I caught part of it on tv and had to truck on over to the visit the official Sweeney Todd movie site Ok Double bonus for me I like the story Sweeny Todd. The morbid humor and story of revenge Yeah buddy bring it on! Of course like anything else you can catch it on MySpace for updates and info :) visit Sweeney Todd on MySpace

cha-cha-cha changes

Well The day I informed my licensing worker AND Bill's SW that he would have to be moved, they brought another kid to my attention. Forbid I go a day not at or over capacity geesh Well we sort of brushed off the thought of taking in this boy (of course another boy).
Well Bill got dropped of Monday. I got a call or email each day about this boy. He lives in our area so I think that is a reason they were asking so often plus placement was not vital at that time.
Dh and I discussed this boy and said "you know Bill and the way things went left us all reeling let's wait" Today the placement coordinator caught me on the phone. haha She asked me again. So I told her I would call her back. I prepared my list of questions, with additions since the Bill experience.
This new one (give me a bit to figure out a name) has some past issues. Seems the same thing happens to him. The kid needs a break. BUT the issues we had with Bill are not here.
Oh let me add Bill had a bug in his ear. His bio mother apparently encouraged him to do things to disrup the placement. But that is a vent I will let go.
New boy is legally free. No visitation. No siblings.
So against my first instinct of take a break and with my instinct of help him .....he will be here in about an hour.
Wish me luck

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Bear's FTDM update

I have some points I would like to make in this update.
-I think it is odd that all that was discussed was what the MOTHER should be doing to get her son back. Dad lives with her and he has nothing no requirements etc discussed That strikes me as just plain odd you know?
-The parents were too 'sick' to make the meeting. So there was a telephone conference.
-I would venture a safe bet that at the very least the father was rather "impaired"
-Brought back a lot of memories of my own father and his issues and how he was, during the bad times. It left most of us at the meeting in the room, scratching our heads and wondering "what did he say/mean?!?!?!"
-Positive I have had Bear for 5 almost 6 months and his father has seen him the last two visits that weren't cancelled. When Dad is at the visits it is a positive thing for dad and Bear!
-Mom is trying and I have nothing but the highest hopes for her I really do.
-Reunification is the agenda and ultimate goal but when that will be done? no one knows and it was not discussed.

So I left the meeting NOT knowing more than I went in knowing except for feeling a bit attacked by the father over my parenting skills. HOWEVER that is completely normal. The bioparent is not raising their child and anyone else doing it is doing it wrong.

Monday, November 19, 2007

I have said he has to go

Well a placement that sounded perfect turned out to be FAR from it.
He is getting in the other kids faces trying to start fights because "Then I can move I will have a reason" He is threatening them, I am done. He is becoming more comfrontational and more of a danger IMO. I am suspecting RAD? I don't know. All I know is it is something I cannot handle period. The stress is making me sick and the kids are very unhappy. I hate to say it so am I.
I feel like I am giving up on him.
The thing I think he doesn't realize. He cannot simply skate by and not do schoolwork, homework and chores which is where all of his rage comes from. I tried to break things down spread them out for him so he will not be overwhelmed (though he has ONE chore here, moreso school work and homework he DOES understand it he is capable but he just doesn't want to). He doesn't do anything.
I have tried reasoning, humor, schedule nothing is working. I cannot do this though. I just can't
So now explain why do I feel like a failure anyway?
I am truly done with the foster care thing. Now for this adoption to get finalized!! UGH

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Lord help me

but I am actually VERY close to giving up on this kid. I do not want to but I just do not have it in me much more. I have NEVER met a child like this. He is downright mean and obstinate. Everyone here has chores to do. Member of the household? You participate in chores. He has kitchen counters. You tell him to do them he will scowl and not move, not talk and not respond. He does this in class too. He will refuse to do anything the teacher asks and just not respond. Like he has given up on himself. I know if I give up on him I will just add to that feeling for him. None of his family wants him that sounds so bad.... what I mean is they have all given up. I would just be one more. He screams at me. Is mean to the other kids. Threatens to leave on a daily basis.
My husband is due home soon and he will be around for awhile. I should wait right? wait to see if DH's influence will make a difference?
I hate this. I HATE being the bad guy. Treating him like a two year old and guiding him through- guiding his hand step by step on cleaning the counters.
He is so hard to deal with. It has been only two months. Should I give it longer? I know that in a few months I will have a newborn and be recovering from a c-section. I will not be able to stay as on top of him as I am right now.
WHAT DO I DO? Any suggestions from folks who have been there? If my doctors appointment on Tuesday shows my blood pressure to be rising the decision will be made by my doctor unfortunately

Let me add too, I know counseling. But When you take him in and he only does the scowl and no speaking thing it is never going to help him.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Top 10 reasons to adopt a teen

I saw this at 'the office' the other day #10 made me laugh

1. No diapers to change.

2. We sleep through the night.

3. We will be ready to move out sooner...but we can still visit.

4. Your don't just get a child, you get a friend.

5. We will keep you up to date with the latest fashion.

6. No more carpools; we can drive you places.

7. No more bottles, formula or burp rags required.

8. We can help out around the house.

9. We can learn from you.

10. We can teach you how to run your computer.

Photography **this is a sponsored post**

Since my oldest is now being homeschooled I am trying my best to come up wit things to engage him and to hold his interest. I am also trying to think a bit outside of the traditional school cirriclum as well. I have always been a bit outside the norm and I try in this case too.
I guess I am like a lot of parents who project what they like onto their kids in hopes they will carry on that tradition or obsession, whatever the case may be HAHAHA. With my son being so artisticly minded I really think one of y loves woulb be a great fit for him as well, digital photography. The quality of digital prints have come so far! The quality and clarity are spectacular. Add to that some of the digital editing software out there it is amazing (I have the Micosift digital editing suite) I have been a Sony fan for awhile. I have a DSC right now but I would LOVE LOVE to upgrade. There are so many choices out there though (like Nikon D3). I have heard the Cannons are great cameras but You know I am such a stubborn woman I am afraid to make a change! There is a professional Sony but it runs $1500. I am not sure I could bring myself to buy that even IF we had the money you know?
But I am sure with a little bit of encouragement I can teach my son to see life through the lense...and pass on the love ;)

This is a sponsored post by


Well Bear has a FTDM on the 14th. I have been to one before so I guess it isn't as frightening until the word Lawyer was brought up! But it is just a they are invited as well thing. The whole meeting will be about the case it's status and working toward reunifocation. I know I would love to have bear in our lives forever but I am really rooting for his mom and dad to get him back. Desite the prolems they had and are working through they love him and care for him like nothing else. I do not even know a timeline and I hope this is brought up at the meeting

Thursday, November 08, 2007


Ok let's face it I am no stranger to dental issues and dental pain. I truly wish we had some sort of enormous coverage for dental work. But alas I do not. I am serious over the year I have experienced almost everything. Root canals, cavities, crowns, bridges you name it. My next step is implants. I even am dealing with a broken crown at the moment. I am unlucky when it comes to my mouth haha in more way than one. I have this dread of going to the dentist. I would say it is not so uch fear of the dentist. Because no matter what some may think about me being a glutton for punishment with my herd of children hehe but I do not like the pain of the dentist. Not just the physical pain either. I am talking about the pain to my pocket as well. Oh my Goodness as I tell my kids ont of them has to become a dentist because I cannot afford all of the dental work I will need in the future. Now there are times I really wish I had a temporary fix so I could maybe put off going to the dentist for just a little while longer. Like this time I was dispatching at the fire department (bcak in my 'working' days). I was eating a flippin' bagel dog in my down time and a filling fell out! I had to get someone in for me for the day because it was so awkward to talk with the pain and the location of the filling to talk at all. I read about Dentemp OS. I can count the times temporary dental repair would have been so great to have. the stuff that people come up with, complete genious and of course a slap in the forehead thinking why didn't I think of that?!?!?! This stuff is FDA approved quick and easy to use.


My last two pay per post posts were totally things I enjoyed. I truly love and/or am passionate about those things. It makes it so easy to write when it i something you care about though. Not that I won't BS about anything under the sun but hey I can talk easier about things I love....just look at how much I ramble about my kids LOL

I remember

my time spent with my grandmother over the years growing up. My grandmother passed away a few years back due to "Alzheimers related complications. The last few years my grandmother spent in a nursing facility. My grandfather had so much love for her I know it was the most difficult decision he hd ever had to make in his life. He wqas unable to keep up with her increasing demands as she got worse over the years. I know how much it hurt him that she did not remember the home they shared for what 50 years? No close I think 40 years. They raised seven children there in that little three bedroom house (that in itself amazed me). But the love they shared the life they shared. It was all forgotten because of a devistating illness. But do you know what? My grandfather went to the nursing home EVERY single day to visit his wife. That type of love and devotion, every one can only hope for someone to share eternity with like that. That nursing home was a great thing for my grandmother. Caring for someone with Alzheimers is so heart wrenching. Having the proper care is vital. Not only for the person who is living with the disease, but for the people who love that person.
With what I said about my grandfather, how he visited her every day even though she did not know him he was still there every day. Some people though are not that lucky. they suffer this disease alone. no family to comfort them and no memories either. Around the holidays these individuals may need a little extra from those of us out there who can help. I want to suggest that you visit the Alzheimers Foundation of America store. The proceeds all benefit the foundation itself. so many good things can be done for research and support if only everyone just did a little, buy a small holiday gift if you can. This is one of those worthy causes that I really feel strongly about.


I think I did it ok
Today he tells my 9y/o that Bill is going to make me so mad I will kick him out.
Bill packs his stuff now every few days. He insists he is leaving.
I let him pack. I let him keep his things in boxes if that is what he is comfortable with. I told him that "You can pack our stuff you can live out of boxes for months if that is what you want. But I am not kicking you out and I am not giving up on you"
He insisted he will take his things and "live on the side of the road until someone picks me up" After I told him it is cold wet and muddy he said "OK I will wait until spring" I laughed and said well at least it will be warmer wet and muddy" He smiled and said "OK Summer" I looked at him with a big ol' smile and said "do you forget what state we live in?" Which led to us laughing about it.
He did not want me to call his social worker. I offered. Which also leads me to believe he is truly testing me and my feelings for him.
So by letting him have stuff packed is doing nothing that will damage him forever right?

My obsessions

I have had a few obsessions over the years. Some have stuck and some have not. I am sure we are all happy some didn't stick haha But the one I am glad that stuck is my love for reading. I remember being the kid in fifth and sixth grade with my nose buried in a book. My favotrite author at that point in my life was Stephen King. I read everything of his I could get my hands on, even the Richard Bachman stuff. Bonus points to anyone who knows anything about Richard Bachman call yourself a fan haha. For those of you who don't.... did you ever watch the movie Running man? The written story 10 times better. His writing is so involving he can bring you into the novel and engross you completely.
One of my favorite stories was The Mist. I rank it right behind The Stand IMO. The books that have been made into movies some are complete disappointments. I do not find this true with Stephen King. Somehow they are adapted quite well to movie form. When I was watching TV with my son and and an ad came on for The Mist by Stephen King (take a look at the trailer!)OMG!!! It was like a toy ad for my kids I screamed and said I HAVE to see it!!! haha. I have my 13 year old son started on Kings books. He asked what the book was about and I told him I remember being able to go back to the pictures I created in my own mind when I was reading the book. I really cannot wait to see how well they do with this movie. I think it will be a great movie to go see. Umm anyone want to be my date??

Thursday, November 01, 2007

I am petty

not pretty but petty. I am reading this letter over and over again. I guess I am just trying to get a feel for the tone. everytime I read it I read it in a different tone. You know what bothers me? she refers to him as 'my son' several times in the letter. I know he is not my biological son. DUH He IS her son. But with they only thing I know about her, what I have read, I KNOW what she did and didn't do. I also know of course the file isn't going to be written in an objective way either.
Why did I get mad that she refers to him as her son?? like I said he is. I have had him since this year only. but I still feel hurt someone else referred to him as 'my son' that is what I do. I need to stop being petty and get over myself. I think I also find it odd she never refers to him by his name. Is she attempting to do a little bit of a disconnect?
DH is leaving the whole decision about contact up to me (I scanned and emailed him a copy of the letter-thank you technology). I am leaning toward yes. what scares me??? I am not sure how long she will stay clean (she is pregnant again and says she is clean this time-I think she learned how much it can mess up a kid!) and I know what she is capable of when she isn't clean. I am afraid of what Liam will feel like WITH her contact through his life or what he will feel knowing I stopped him from contact. I think a PO Box in another town is the way to go....


The two older boys are at that stage. I call it the becoming a man and getting more expensive hobbies and toys stage LOL Their interest at this point? Paintball. The good news is that we have a paintball field right up the road from us!! My biggest problem has been the equipment! What do I buy???? There are a ton of options out there. The paintball guns have been the biggest issue for me. OMG there are a ton of options out there. Trying to find a good quality gun that is sturdy enough to endure a 12 and 13 y/o is a chore let me tell you!!! I have heard tippmann paintball markers are good. Good quality and ability to get some good play out of them. I will have to give those a try

Got the letter

Well I got the letter from Liam's Bio mom. It was addressed to DH and I. It was her asking to have some sort of contact either with us and/or Liam. She would like to send gift etc as well. She thanked us for taking care of him. And said in her letter that she did try and always had the best intentions but it didn't work (just summarizing there) It now brings me to, do we get a PO box in another town and allow some sort of contact?
Confusion abounds!!

Flooring yet again

In our quest to replace the flooring here in this house, I have been doing my research online and also in store. The one drawback of online shopping I have found is the warranty. I was even warned on one of my message boards to make sure I read that policy very carefully. On pay per post I ran accross the followingg which was intriguing

iFLOOR, America's largest online flooring retailer, today announced a $1,000,000 limited warranty designed to protect its customers from predatory manufacturer policies that exclude warranty coverage from online purchases.

The policy, which goes into effect immediately, offers up to one million dollars of coverage in the event that a customer's warranty claim is denied specifically because they made their purchase online. It is complimentary for every iFLOOR customer, and protects the buyer under the same terms as the original product warranty.

iFLOOR, Inc. CEO, Steve Simonson, came up with the program to combat "scare tactics" used by manufacturers of hardwood floors and laminate flooring. "Their idea is to discourage you from buying at a discount!" wrote Simonson in his blog "It's About Flooring". "This is not right! You deserve to save money! So we're going to take care of this problem once and for all."

And it would appear that federal law is on his side. Section 108 of the 1975 Magnuson-Moss Act, states that, "In general, tie-in sales provisions are not allowed. Such a provision would require a purchaser of the warranted product to buy an item or service from a particular company to use with the warranted product in order to be eligible to receive a remedy under the warranty."

Under iFLOOR's new warranty, a key provision allows for iFLOOR to "seek justice" on behalf of the customer in the event of legal action. According to Simonson, "I'm putting iFLOOR's money where my mouth is."

About iFLOOR, Inc.
Since 1998, has been the leading online and retail flooring company, with 36 local retail stores nationwide offering more than 70,000 products, including hardwood floors, laminate flooring, bamboo flooring and cork floors. is the largest online flooring retailer according to Internet Retailer Magazine, and was named by Inc. Magazine as one of the fastest growing private companies in the United States for the past three years. Committed to quality customer service, superior selection and friendly expert advice, enables customers to buy flooring both online and in its retail stores at a substantial savings over traditional retailers. For more information about iFLOOR, please visit