Not nearly as rad as thing were when I used that as a word as a kid. But RAD is a bad bad word now. Mav ahh he is a good kid. But honestly his life has been so screwed up I can see why he is in this state. I started seeing the little white lies. Then the manipulation. Then he started to emotionaly terrorize the little kids. There IS no other way to put it honestly. He is relentless. Now the stealing items has started. Nothing he can use either. But the 9 y/o's glasses... his books things from the 6 y/o. Yeah you see the pattern right? younger=target to him.
Last night he up and pinched the 9 y/o hard enough to leave a welt that night and then a bruise later :(
He has crossed a line I can not allow to continue. I will not ever allow my children to live in fear. So today the ground rules will AGAIN be put down. He needs to respect others and the property of others. He has two weeks to make an improvement. Yes I have to set a time limit. I am here 8 months pregnant and I cannot handle the daily stress of his games and the torture the kids must feel.
I have however sworn off older kids. I know I know 'but you cannot judge them all on two experiences' Once he is gone, I will ONLY take younger kids. period.
We were lied to , umm misinformed, about his status by being told he was legally free. There is no chance of adoption. He knows this, we now know this. BUT he, during his visits is holding it over his parents heads that we are his mom and dad and we will adopt him yadda yadda. Manipulation again
ugh
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3 comments:
He does sound like a difficult kid, and being pregnant doesn't help. Every situation is different, but the guideline of fostering kids "no older than your oldest" does have some advantages.
I'm a big fan of teens, and could never even think about taking little ones...but I don't think the big ones and little ones mix very well at all.
I think you sort of have to either do teenagers exclusively, or not do them at all.
Exceptions for people who take sibling groups, of course.
I am so sorry. I had to make the same decision a while back. Like yondalla said, it's usually a one or the other thing. I hope that when my children are grown I can help some teens, I know they really need those homes! Good luck!
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