Funny

People have asked what the kids want for Christmas. Do you know how tempted I am to say Costco and Commissary gift certificates?!?!?!?!

Also I think it is quite hillarious though appropriate maybe? That we have moved passsed buying things in family size and now we buy "Institutional size" Institutional??? Hahaha it fits, sadly ;)

our house!!

I found our house! OK I found the plans of my dream house Give us 5-10 acres a view of the water and OMG I will never want to move

Don't we all??

Bill has some problems with My oldest sons mood shifts. I want to say join the club. But it is hard to do that. I try hard to explain that he is mean sometimes we all know this but he has issues with anger and while that does not excuse it it is something to keep in mind. I told him we can all hope that when he starts medications next week he will be easier to live with. OK I got woken up by WWIII at 2 am. I diffused the situation and they are friends again but damn DAILY??? I am tired! My oldest screwed up though. Bill is an abuse survivor. My oldest did something to Bill that triggered a flashback of being beaten. I completely understand where Bill is coming from
I am making no sense and I am exhausted!!
Night

This girl

Makes me want to cry NWAE the look on her face. The utter sadness in her eyes. I swear :(

Tomorrow is

Bi-Polar awareness day. Living with a child who suffers from BPD it is not an easy road. You can read more about BPD in children at BPkids. Support the cause, hug a parent who is trying their best to cope or spread the word.

oh Bill.....

Like I said I knew that when I had to enforce the rules there would be an issue. Well tada Houston we have an issue. He loves his ideo games and I am very willing to let the kids play video games IF their homework and cores are getting done...completely. Grades do not have to be A's but do your best. Well he has not been doing homework and half assing the few chores he has. So i said today hey these are the rules this is your part of the deal... you are not living up to your end, either you start to or the games are in my possesion a all times.
Well wouldn't you know it he had homework (and did it). So i will have to start stepping up the enforcement.
He is really a good kid though he is just not used to any follow through.

How many

Visits missed makes a parent inconsistant? Once a month? every other week? Three times a month?
I really do wonder. You guessed it Bear is missing another visit this week. Grrrrr.

Bears worker will be here this week. Not too much to do but it figures I got that damn cold back AGAIN. And AGAIN it settles in my lungs.

Bear is trying to pull himself up to a stand!!! I am so not ready for this haha

I have to turn in the paperwork for Liam so he can get his surgery.

Holy crapola

I got the notification that I will be paid for Bill! I am in the system and I have been approved payment! It did NOT take the months that it took for Bear! So Nov 1st I will get it. Good news for Christmas shopping right? Lots of kiddos to buy for this year ;) Plus no matter how much Bill insists he is fine I am buying him some more clothes :) I snuck in a couple of things already ;)

AWWWW

Bill had his visit today. fine and dandy. He just got home. His siter gave him a gift for me :) She sent him with lip gloss for "his new Mom". Dang that was sweet!!!

The good, the bad and the stinky

The good....
Bill is fitting in well. I still have to remind him that the younger kids deserve repect too even if they interrupt the video game you are playing/friend you are talking to etc. But the kid cracks me up, every night he tells me how great my cooking is. Tonight I looked at him and said In a total sarcastic way "You are just saying that because you want to stay huh?" He smiled and said "oh yeah!! Are we having dessert too???" and then he cracked up.

The bad.....
Liams adoption will not be finalized in Nov. his worker is not going to be ready by that point. Le Sigh. So we will have to wait. I am upset.

The stinky....
One teen(ish) boy was bad. now that there are two OMG!!! Farting is a competition! LOL

Hmmmm

It is interesting. I am very leery of being tricked, for lack of better words, by DSHS. Bill is here Bill is a great fit (so far). He has some problems including coming from NO structure (I will not be popular when he gets rules inforced). Anyway I get a call from another CW today, one that helped us with his stuff the day I picked him up. She called to give me the name and number of his transporter (Bill still has one weekly visit). She too was very excited he was here and she said that when she saw him that day that was the most she had seen him smile. She has known him for awhile and she sees/observes him during visits etc.
Wow umm it makes me wonder one of two things. How miserable was he?? and are they trying to just snow me??
turns out though Liams worker knows about him. She was contacted to be his adoption worker. She is going to look over his file and then tell me if there are any red flags I should be aware of.

Bill

I think that will be his name. He is here. We spent the day together today we chit chatted about video games. house stuff, food, rules and chores. He also got tortured with his first trip to Costco.
It is weird because I know he knows his mom is going to TPR. He also knows that his worker was looking for an adoptive home for him. But I do not want to make the assumption that he will be adopted by us or that everything will work out. I know that there is a honeymoon period. I can HOPE that things work out. I can hope that we get to adopt him but it also feels awkward to say things that may make him feel like we are just "taking him for a test drive" and if we do not like him we will send him packing.
He seems like a good kid all around. We will see how things go but my gut feeling says it is a good fit ;)

The relative placement is

causing some problems apparently. So they have to remove (boy who STILL needs a nickname) bright and early in the morning. UGH Only problem I have to get out of here after my kids get off to school for Bear's ENT appointment at children's!! UGH so scheduling will be hellish.
wish me luck I HATE to think of him sitting in the DSHS office for hours

Liam

Well as soon as I get the authorizing signature from his adoption worker Liam will be having surgery. His appointment at the ENT today was short and sweet a look in the throat and a "wow" and "yes those have to come out" . My suspicions that Liam has large adenoids was correct. However his tonsils are so enlarged they are almost touching as well. So both will come out.

Leaving on a jet plane

OK so we aren't but I tell you dh and I have been talking about taking a vacation. This one is aside from the one we are taking as a family next year to colorado. We are talking about him and I getting away just US. We have never taken a vacation together alone can you believe that. So we have been talking that for our fifteenth anniversary we will jet away on a vacation. but where to? Should we fly into flights to New York for a weekend getaway? Maybe. Or maybe we will fly into europe and do a 10 day cruise there. This is my current front runner!! Finding cheap flights though can be a callenge! I really do think that we want more of a longer vacation. But you know maybe I will take a spa getaway in themeantime. No one can fault a mom of 5...almost 6 ok then 7........ for doing that can they??

First irritation

Well DH is active duty military. No biggie. But since the military offers adoption reimbursement for norecurring costs the state won't cover it. With me so far? Well we have NO clue who to go to for this. Neither does our adoption worker nor dh's chain of command UGH So I call legal. I have to explain the situation to two different people. Their solution?? Come in for an appointment. This means I have to drive all the way down there for an appointment that will more than likely prove to be a waste of time. I will get in to speak to legal they will say OH well so 'n' so takes care of this.
The saga will continue.....

Drug addiction

It is amazing to me what some of the kids in the system have been through. they have been put through so much because of their parents (for the most part). I truly think that anyone can overcome drug addiction. That is if they want to and if they take the right steps and have the right mindset. Finding the right support is key. Heck now people can access drug forums to discuss detox and treatments etc.

Oh man!

I have the House rules speech geared more toward the 7 and under crowd! I need to revamp it for (boy who has yet to be nicknamed).
-respect others
-respect yourself
-respect your things and the things of others
-one per bed
-no touching of anyones 'private areas' (which leads to the yours is yours do what you want just do it in private)
-explination of what "in private" means
-food rules ask before you take. take only what you will eat

What else should I include?


I need to sit and talk with (boy who has yet to be nicknamed) about what his expectations are re allowance. And come to a compromise.
We need to reassign/redistribute chores. discuss bed times TV and gaming rules.
Ummmmm I think that is it?

The phone call

Well the phone call with... ummm I have yet to think of a nickname for him yet! Well it went well. We chatted about video games and food typical pre-teen boy stuff. I was laughing so hard. My son piped up and said "tell him we have a lot of food!" He says "Well you don't have to worry about that I can take care of that. I love to eat!" lol
After the convo I had to leave to get #1 son from his appointment. The SW called in the time I was gone. I just got back to her. She told me she was impressed. I asked about what. Apparently this little guy has never laughed like he did today with me on the phone! He was laughing we were talking etc. I had fun. Anyway he told the SW he is looking forward to the move and living here.
I guess we sound 'cool' LMAO
So again DH is out...he will come home to another kid!!
He knew about him before he left though. I am excited! Wow. While he isn't a teen, he was an older kid who was harder to place. So I guess my desire to adopt a teen is pretty much fufilled. :) I think we were meant to stay in foster care for this guy. My tune may change... but we will see. It feels like a good fit and I have no reservations.
Oh the SW said that she hopes things work out since they are going through TPR right now and hopes we will want to adopt him :)

It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well folks the 12 y/o will be here Friday!!!!!
I am going to talk to him on the phone this afternoon. We are all excited!

Have you ever had....

One of those DUH moments?
We have one Alaskan Native placement and the 12y/o we are looking at is also AN. I was thinking how strange they have last names that are similar and are very Russian sounding. DUH Alaska/Russia they are what a stones throw from one another??

Blogs

Also don't forget I post on my other blog often http://blog.gina8724.com/ It s more family stuff and some to do with the pregnancy. Well mostly the pregnancy ;)

Room shift.

OK in anticipation of the 12 year old maybe moving in we did a little proactive room shifting. The 2 y/o is in with the 6 month old.
The 9 y/o is in the room with the 12 y/o only tonight because all of his bedding is still in the wash (oops). They DO NOT like one another. The love each other do not get me wrong but they cannot share a room. The 12 y/o is acting about 5 y/o in his pissing and moaning about his brother sleeping in his room for ONE NIGHT! ugh almost two hours of COMPLAINTS!
A glass of wine would be great now. Someone out there in blogland have one for me OK?

The 15 y/o

Will not be coming to live with us. Yes I am a little disappointed. BUT.....dang there is my big butt again ;p . Today I get a desperate email of kids needing placement in our area from our placement coordinator. I read through the kids, some with chronic problems some SA cases even one that was listed as an offender. Sigh that is a lot of no's in one email. Then we get to the last one. A 12y/o NA (Alaskan Native actually) boy who is a bit reserved and shy. Hey look at that he is available for adoption and is coming from a relative placement...hmmm I want more info. I get more info hmm placement paperwork gives minimal info UGH. I email the coordinator back and say ok based on this I am interested but need MORE info. I get the workers # we talk and well... This kid aside from being a bit withdrawn and a bit too much into video games (a coping mechanism he was the family caretaker...he used video games to be a kid) he sounds WONDERFUL. And JUST like our oldest but without the emotional problems and rages etc (thank you Bipolar disorder sigh) He has family in the area. And the worker would like us to "consider" letting that continue. OK we do that already with Liam.
We are attempting to arrange a meeting this weekend or early next week :)

We have become one of THEM

No no body snatchers references or anything. Have you ever watched the shows on the Duggars? Or those other large families with 7+ kids. You know how they say after church they will come out to their car and there will be bags of clothes left there or they come home and there are clothes on the doorstep? yeah well that has been us. Hahaha We come home today to a large bag of clother with the name of our 9 y/o and 5y/o on it :) I think it is sweet. They know the kids are well dressed but they know some more would not hurt ;)

Good kid

Or maybe I have ruined him. My oldest and I were having Mom and son time just chatting about his day.
He says "So Mom do you know if I am having a brother or sister yet?"
Me:"Nope no idea, it is too early"
Him:"Oh well I hope it is a boy"
Me:"Really? why?"
Him:"well because it would be cheaper to have a boy"
Me:"cheaper?"
Him:"Yeah I mean you have all of the boys clothes and stuff. with a girl you would have to buy ALL KINDS of stuff"
Me:"OK I can understand that. But you know I can buy things not brand new and get good deals"
Him:"I know but still, who wants to go through all of that? I just hope it is a boy"

Ok kiddo we got your order ;)
I am glad he is looking out for our finances hehehee

One last visit

I am not happy about it. To be honest DH and I are a touch uneasy about it all together.
Liam came to us from a disrupted adoptive placement. About a year and a half at this home, bonding with the parents, bonding with the brother in the home. The mother called Liams adoption worker and stated that she wasn't sure things were working out and that he just never "gets it" and then a couple of days later it came down to remove him now. He came here as an emergency foster placement. The mother did this all while the father was out of town. He had no idea the brother was at school and came home to no brother.
Now Liams worker asked if we were willing to let the father and brother, possibly the mother have another visit. Dh and I discussed it. We are torn. We believe it may be closure for Liam to be able to say goodbye. We also are worried after these months of work with him he will revert back to waiting to go back to live with his brother (no talk of the mom or dad). He may get confused by the whole thing.
Well we said we were willing to do one LAST visit to say goodbye. I am bitter about the way they handled things and how much they hurt this little guy! He isn't good enough for you so you "return him" then you want to say goodbye and open up wounds again?
I know bios are given the endless opportnities to screw a kid up but should a disrupted adoptive placement be given the same?
Pooey to the whole thing

Updates

I know some of these are long overdue. I really AM sorry. Things went from busy to me not being home.
OK the UW-
The ultrasound, it all still amazes me seeing the baby moving and kicking etc. The measuremtns (the NT test) was textbook perfect. Under a 3.0 is ok. Anything over 3.0 is cause for concern. My measurement was a 1.5! the little one was measuring 4 days ahead. The NT ultrasond has to be done in comjunction with an intergrated blood screen. So I am waiting for those results to get the official results.
The day after the trip to the UW I went back to my regular OB. I was weighed and taken back but as soon as the doctor saw me he said I needed to be seen by a pulmonologist. A little background I have had what I classify as a purely annoying cough. The doctor found nothing wrong so a little caugh medicine and orders to rest "as much as you can with five kids" was what i got. It worsened the two days prior and the day of my exam. Apparently I looked and sounded really bad. I was taken down for an xray and then to a pulmonologist. After exams and then a couple of breathing treatments (5 hours later) I was allowed to go home. But I was given 4 MORE prescriptions (for all who are counting that is 13 per DAY!!! no worries though a few are vitamins ;) ) So now I am on a nebulizer with treatments 4+ times per day. The good news, it is clearing out my lungs a lot! I can talk again-the kids are none too happy about that and I can breathe without as much pain! So bonus plus!
Liam had soccer pictures done. i cannot wait to get them back. How corny is that?
I am tired and run down BIG time. But feeling better. I am sick of being sick, no really I am

and there it is...

My appetite. It is slowly coming back! I have not wanted to eat much of anything. But yesterday... turkey swiss rolls from Costco YUMMY and they settled well. today cheese curds and maple nut fudge...yes together. Does the fact the fudge came from the farmers market make it healthier?? No?? I didn't think so. But a girl can try.

tomorrow I have to trek back down to the university to have a NT ultrasound . It is not my idea of a great time BUT I will get to see our little one again :) I am confident things are OK. But with the hell we went through last time this is being done now to bpass any issues. Last pregnancy they told me there was a problem with the baby when in fact the tech did the scan outside of the proper timeline. It was weeks of sheer torture for nothing. They university is doing it themselves this year :)
Tuesday I go to my regular doctor for my regular prenatal appointment. So I went one whole week without a doctor appointment. haha

Liam had his first ever soccer game on Saturday. He did so well!!! I am super proud of him. He came really close to scoring a goal. I know I know close doesn't count but still. tomorrow He is in class. I am hoping my appointment does NOT run long so I can be home for him to get home. My sitter cancelled GRRRRRRRRR And I have to take 2 kids to an appointment they shouldn't even be at.

My day

Maybe I should title this "you know your day is bad when....."

I left the house today dressed in capris with ONE leg shaved! How did I not notice?

shhhhhh

Wow this is amazing. My three oldest are in school today. Liam was more excited than I have ever seen him. He has been looking forward to riding the bus since the day he got here.
My 9y/o, well he has to take a special bus to the gifted program. So our regular bus driver gets confused when he doesn't get on her bus 4 days a week. On another note he LOVES the new program. He said "Mom I love it! We have free reign. I can be as creative or move as fast as I want. None of the teacher doing the 'blah blah blah' repeating the same stuff over and over again. The teacher gives us our assignment and we do it how WE want to" I really think this program (thus far) is a perfect fit for him and his learning style.
My oldest. Well he is TRYING really hard. he is starting off the school year making an effort. Getting things done. doing things with enthusiasim. I can cross my fingers this will last. With his social and large group difficulties he is back on the special ed bus to and from school. He was NOT happy about it. But as much as I hate to say it... this is better for him AND my sanity and I pushed for it to happen. Though do not tell him that because he would hate me for a long time.
I am REALLY looking forward to my 2y/o starting preschool next fall! He will love it. He is a smart cookie but he will do well with more same age play/interaction.

Nice

Our school district now has an online resource where you can add money to the kids lunch accounts, check their lunch money balance or in the case of the older kids, order a yearbook or buy an ASB card etc.
Nice to be able to do that from home 24 hrs a day. We all know that kids soetimes cannot seem to make sure the check makes it to the office or they lose cash... this works nicely

If you don't live it...

You never really know.

You sit there and judge me from the snippets of my life that you see.
My child is out of hand?
A good spanking would help him? I will have to let the mental health community know that both bi-polar and Aspergers can be cured by an "ass whoppin'".
And yeah I hate to tell you, no that "type of child" is not what we "get" from the system. Sorry to kill your theory but he is my biological child. Luck of the draw buddy. He was BORN this way with no wrong doing of my own. I didn't drink or do drugs. The way things worked. My son was born with some problems.
To all of you who think that the genetic tests can prevent you from having a "messed up child". Think again. You never know.
You have no idea how many nights I have spent crying in desperation. how many times I thought "what else can I do? what did I do wrong?". I have never given up. I have never tried to place blame elsewhere. NOT even on my son. He did not chose to be this way. I know he would give anything to be accepted by his peers. To fit in, to not be the outcast. But that will never happen. Our best outcome... is he can function at a close to normal level. THAT is OK with me. I love my son I love how creative he is. I love that he can pick up most any musical instrment and teach himself to play. He is a writer and an artist. I know his love of thos things will take him far in life.
With that being said...having been through this and living through this for years that I have more tolerance and understanding for people who have troubled kids. I just wish others would take a broader look before passing judgement.

Punishment update.

I LOVED the community service idea. In essence he DID take from the community. I explained AGAIN that stealing from a store hurts the whole community in the form of rraised prices on goods sold.
He is participating in 2 weeks of community service here. He will ALSO be doing the same at his biodads.
So far he dug a ditch for a neighbor and cleaned his friends room (that was funny). We have plenty of elderly neighbors he can help them with yard work or getting ready for winter.
THANK YOU for the ideas

YUMMY

Well a neighbor came by and gave us a salmon he caught today :) Nothing like fresh caught salmon for dinner.

He won't get away with aything

Not that he would try... he is almost honest to a fault. Liam has our family friend as his kindergarten teacher. It should be great to behonest. She is a great teacher and a really nice person.

Advice on punishment

So let's say you have a teen who shoplifted. You find out about it months later. Taking him back to the store and facing the security there is out of the question. Any belongings he had of any value he destroyed..... So taking things away from him the value of the item is impossible.
So what would you do?
I am really looking for creative punishments that would leave an impact but not a scar lol

Bean update

Went to the perinatologist. I am the lowest high risk he has currently on his rolls. My BP today was 87/54. No I am not high risk due to low blood pressure but rather because of HIGH BP!! Yeah it doesn't look like I have a problem does it? He said until week 28 it is the honey moon period. Come week 28 my BP will more than likely begin to climb.
Because of the BP I am at risk of having a smaller baby. I need an ultrasound monthly to monitor the babys size. Which is ironic because in the past I have had monthly ultrasounds to monitor the size of my baby due to my having LARGE babies. #1 was 42 weeks at 10 lbs 3 oz #2 was 36 weeks at 9 pounds 4 ounces #3 was at 38 weeks at 9 pounds 9 ounces. I joked with the doctor that this meant I would have an average sized baby.
I go in the 10th for an ultrasound and some other tests.
I got an ultrasound again today. Saw the little moving baby and little heart beat again.


Tomorrow my oldest gets home!!! And Friday I get my new washer! Great days all around

DOH!!

Well today was the visit with liams worker. She had to meet dh face to face to make sure HE also wanted to adopt. I was under the impression that she had met dh before... WRONG. In all of the time Liam has been here she and Dh have never met! hahaha He has either been out to sea or at work.
Anyway she talked to me about an allegation SHE faced as a parent (she has been a foster parent before as well). She asked us to reconsider quitting. She later asked about how many openings we had. Dh piped up and said well two until March when we are expecting the little one. I love the man I REALLY do. But we were going to just keep that info to ourselves for at least another month or two.
She looks at us and says.. "You are pregnant?" My heart sank. I said "yes" She said "that is great! The same thing happened to me after we adopted" WHEW. I did tell her we were already asked the question if we were "giving back the other kids" I told her that as I told them "no way no how". Now she wants to know one thing. The gender! She says to let her know when we find out the gender so she knows what we have room for.

******
I talked to my MIL today I asked if I paid for her plane ticket would she come up and help during the delivery (C-section) and/or after. I explained I would really need her should dh not be able to be here (wouldn't you know this babe is coming when the world needs his/her daddy to go do his Navy thing). I didn't get my whole sentence out before she sais "YES"! WHEW a load off my mind


*****
Tonight I made spaghetti and meatballs, corn, garlic bread and I have a peach cobbler finishing up in the oven. I over did myself. No really I am exhausted!

bean post

as in my baby bean ;)
Had a doctor appointment today. The doctor did an abdominal ultrasound and I got to see the beautiful beating baby heart :) I TRULY feel so much more relieved.

Those workers you have worked with

When they find out you are considering dropping foster care once the adoption is final it is amazing how they call and try to talk you out of it. Liam's worker will be by this afternoon to see DH and Liam together (SOP). She says she NEEDS to talk to me. She says if EVERY good foster parent got out after one CPS referral she would be in a world of hurt!
She wants to keep me in the ranks for at the very least HER kids lol
I told her I would tlak to her and have an open mind so we will see.
Our licensor was very anti us quitting too. She is willing to do whatever to get us to stay. I am glad she went to bat for us with the investegator.
I will take time to make the decision final I suppose

My doctor

I have to say it is wonderful they are the way they are. I called and informed them about the CPS investigation. The utter shock from the nurses mouth (our regular nurse) was helpful in making me feel a bit better.
She will be faxing a report and any thing else the need ASAP. I was offered character references LOL
It is nice to see who is on your side. I found out about many who I did not know about. Lots surprised me, in a good way.

*****
Now today to put on a smile and fake having even the smallest bit of kindness toward the transporter today. I am DREADING her coming. Why? Well her attitude for one and my general distaste for her. I have a big mouth and I cannot hide my emotions well. I MAY bite through my tongue in the end. The road construction is worse... I wonder how much she will cry this time?

****
I am hoping that my appointment goes well today. I am nervous. This is a point that I have found out my baby was no longer living. It only has to happen once and it will forever effect you in very deep ways. I am pretty confident this time around. I am DONE with this cough I have had for the length of the pregnancy. I am drained by it.

*****
Oh my husband was home BEFORE dark yesterday. He had time to spend with the family and relax and eat dinner :)

Gee thanks

OK I get a call from the investigator. There will be NO ONE else coming to my house. This is 20 minutes after I posted. She says she doesn't feel the need to com back out. Our licensor also contacted her and gave her the info I sent her and apparently gave us the thumbs up as we are good people (???)
The investegator feels there is no need to be coming out to the house and that in the 90 days this case will be closed as unsubstantiated. She did warn me that I will get a letter in 45 stating that we are being investigated for child abuse. It is a "standard form letter".
It is still all BS and the fact that it was opened at all is something that amazes me.
So there you have it

Now tomorrow..... Bear goes for a visit. I have to deal with the transporter from hell. I have a doctor appointment and I will hope she UNDERSTANDS that I may need to meet her somewhere other than home. Maybe she will not freak out over road construction?
The next day I have to go to UW for the perinatologist. My doctor actually scheduled the UW appointment. DIDN'T tell me AND scheduled me with THEM the same day LOL. Yeah I am not that good to be in two places at once.

Still waiting

Well no supervisor yet. I cannot wait here all day on an unknown visit. I will be leaving in about an hour to get some potatoes for dinner. The farm down the road is open :) I love getting their red potatoes. Thy are fresh dug and still smell like earth. You know that smell? I love it. The man who runs this farm actually employs the MR teens and adults in the area and THEY run the farm.
Plus he will let my boys dig potatoes or cut flowers or pick corn so it will be fresher if they want :)

On another note

I am so emotional it is NOT funy. I try to do things around the house... I end up getting this lovely all day sickness thing. It physically drains me. Then I start crying because I feel like a failure at keeping house. Then crying makes me ill... yeah see a very bad cycle?
I know the hormones will balance out a little then get worse again but I cannot wait for the all too brief "down time"!
And I will end with boohoo because admitting I "feel" like a failure made me start getting emotional.

wouldn't it figure

I have had issues with my washer. I ended up REALLY behind because of it and this weekend, with a ton of laundry to do...what happens?? well you guessed it buh bye washer.
Just what I needed. 10 to 1 I get comments on my "abundance' of dirty laundry.

would it be

out of line for me to state to the new worker that they have until Dec 1 to find a new home for Bear? Liams adoption will be finalized Nov 19th.
I will not say it tomorrow... that is unless I pack him up to go tomorrow but in that case it won't matter. But once a new social worker is assigned I will be letting them know.
Heck Even Nov 1st! give us the time to enjoy the whole adoption thing....
So is that reasonable?

Folks Thank you

I have to say that I am completely disheartened with the system. I truly feel like I am being punished for doing the RIGHT thing. It was someone else who failed this little boy.
When they say "It is not IF you get investigated it is WHEN." they are not lying.
This is minor I know. I did nothing wrong I know. But being made out to be the BAD guy when you did all you were supposed to....well it bites. It is a feeling I never ever want to go through again.
Heck I even contacted Liams social worker let her know there is an investigation and also let her know I hope it doesn't interfere with the adoption. Also once Liams adoption is final, I am done with foster care. I know she will understand. She has the same feelings about the systen as I now do. But I believe in being honest and being upfront.
Foster care may be great for some people and many do it for many many years. I thought we would be one of those families. Now it looks that I will be done in under a year.
I will have had 6 kids (aside from Liam in my care). So at least I was able to help a few kids before I was done.

CPS investigation ON ME!!!!!!!!!!

I am so upset. I am in tears REALLY. I am being investigated for something I documented, told the SW, sent the documentation to the worker and took the child to the doctor.
I am quitting foster care. Once the adoption is final I am done. This is bullshit (sorry but it is) They treat us like crap for no reason. I covered my butt I did EVERYthing I was supposed to do and still this. Well I can see why foster parent retention is a problem

oh hell

The gal drops off Bear. She tells me that she would call before leaving... DIDN'T happen!
She gets here says so tell me about this mark on his leg you know I am a mandated reporter. I am thinking to myyself yeah and so am I want a cookie???? I told her it was from an outfit and that his social worker, mother AND doctor know. If she wanted to call the social worker go ahead she knows about it.
After that she said "Oh yeah she said that happened 2 weeks ago?" So why are you being SNOTTY with me if you ALREADY talked to the social worker about it?
I have to deal with this woman once a week until Bear is back with mom!!! Tell me there is a way to claim conflict of personalities and request a new one?

Dang did I miss the snowstorm??

Here I am waiting on a package to be delivered. It was due to arrive today. I check the tracking online and get this message "ADVERSE WEATHER CONDITIONS CAUSED THIS DELAY " WHAAAAAA?!?!?!?! It is 70 degrees and not a cloud in sight. Hmm maybe that is the problem the weater is too good they cannot be bothered to work today!!

Not my first but...

I am still relatively new to the whole transporter thing. I have always transported. My respites had a delightful woman pick the kids up she was smart enough to figure out directions, had carseats SAFELY installed, she was very nice and seemed to have her stuff together. This one that picked up bear. Well I have not had a good experience with her. She calls me FREAKING out (no I am not kidding,almost in tears because she 'felt lost' and that the road construction was ruining her car), the car seat was not installed properly and she did not listen when I said Bear was too big for an infant seat. Her general impression well She seems flaky and flighty and just in general not someone I get warm fuzzies about.

One a side note every time I say or think transporter I see The Transporter in m mind :) While a yummy thought it still is not something I see as a plus for my kids either! lol

You have GOT to be kidding me

Our new neighbors think it is hillarious to BARK and HOWL at my dogs when they are in the backyard. Give the kids a break you say?? Well it was ADULTS like in their 40's and 60's. Fricken crazy neighbors......greeeeeeeaaaaaaaaat JUST what I needed. Maybe I should go nextdoor and remind them there is a leash law, for THEIR crazy Butts!!!

On another note

If you haven't seen this auction go look It is so well written (her blog is funny too)
Well Today grocery shopping at the checkout I ended up with One Life Elvis tribute magazine, one bottle of Bugs Bunny chewable vitamins and one propel. OY

Hodgepodge

**First it is official I am old. I called the police department to report a "crazy teen driver" This idiot almost hit me twice! He was squealing tires blowing stop signs and red lights....well you get the point. I get his plate number call the station in this small town we live in. I get one of the deputies and he takes the info. I was told "This will be dealt with" Well I certainly hope so before he kills himself or somebody else.

***I told my boys they ever drive like that they will lose their license and car and I will report them myself. My 9 y/o turns to the 5 y/o and says "believe her man! She doesn't mess around when it comes to that " hahahaha

***I went to the grocery store and I got a bunch of stuff, including produce. I do not think there is much nutritional value in grapes but dang are they gooooood. The gal at the pharmacy says... "Oh all of your boys are so handsome and they look so much......." The trail off was when she got to Bear. I guess he doesn't look like me? hahahaha

***To my child. When I ask you what? or repeat that please.. It means I cannot hear you dear speak up (see I AM getting old) It does not mean speak in the same or LOWER tone causing me to ask WHAT?!?!?! a few more times. I do not need ANY help feeling Older. Thank you very much

***Bear has his appointment with ENT about his narrow airway. I did my due diligence and contacted his worker and said he has the appointment and that I am willing to meet the mom there or pick her up at the bus station so she can be involved in his medical issues. She said it was a good idea and would discuss it with Mom

***I got my older son a new mattress. He doesn't have one right now (don't report me or anything he is gone for the summer ;) )And dang it is NICE. I spent as much on it as the mattress SET DH and I got when we were married hahaha I hate to dissapoint him but he did NOT get a tempurpedic!

*** If it is not clear I am pulling for this mom to get Bear back. But I was disappointed when I called her to ask what she might need for her visit tomorrow. And her... hmmm well baby's daddy answered the phone. I know that there is a restraining order. And they do not do well together. But I am trying not to judge.

***I have to say these blogs make this world tiny. I had questiones about some things I may be facing. One of my friends said to read someones blog she can help me out. Thanks for her taking the time to let me pick her brain.

**Also my husbands work schedule BITES I HATE the whole deal with it and how little he is able to be home and be with us. I know he hates it too. And nothing either of us can do about it for at least a couple of years

It's 8:30 pm and all is quiet

well quietER at least the 5 month old and the two year old are in bed the 9 and 5 y/o are watching some VERY annoting cartoon on their TV and I am in my PJ's watching Ghost Hunters!
Whew. It has been a rough week. I am glad it is over. Well you know it isn't the weekend but the week of BUSY is over. I am tired. Tomorrow I HAVE to go get milk. It has been almost an entire day and the kids act as if they will die from calcium deficiency if they do not have milk in the morning. I know I am a bad mom for running out of milk. But I neglected to factor in two extra milk drinkers for a week. My kids are too good for powdered milk...yes I DID try to sneak it by them hahaha
My dear lovley husband is gone again. I THINK he was actually here and I didn't imagine it.
My uncle in AK is arranging to get something made for baby Bear (who is part Alaskan native) Something made by a native special for little ones to hang near their crib. I am VERY appreciative of him for doing that. And it will be special for Bear through his life.
My 2 y/o tonight went to sleep with the Pokemon blanket that Baggage got for my two older sons when THEY were little. Little man started talking about how special this blanket was. Liam asked about the blanket and told him the story how Mom's friend lived FAR away in Japan and sent it for the boys and how they used it and then it was used by every kid who has come into this home (yes even him lol) and how it kept a whole lot of kids warm if only just for a little while. He said though next time dad leaves he wants his OWN blanket.
Anyway I am going to veg. Apparently there is a new Mythbusters in a few minutes and I have to watch it with Little Man ;)

whew

OK the respites are back w/ foster mom! I ran down the behavior with her and she says OMG OK I am glad someone else sees it. The things is they want to immediately place these kids in their adoptive home. I shook my head and said even with my limited experience they NEED a transition period! She said she thought so too but that it is the worker who only sees these kids as happy no issue children. So I am writing my notes to the worker as well.

Liam went to the Dr. My doctor listened to my thoughts and said she agreed especcially after her exam. So he will see the ENT and will possibly have his adenoids and tonsils out.

There is my day. I am offically EXHAUSTED and I need some sleep. So I am napping while the crew does... well the older two are watching teenage Mutant ninja turtles but yeah when they are in the same room I think it is OK

Seriously

I am GLAD our state listings put so much information about the kids. A kid in another state sounds perfect from the write up because they list NO problems. The 15y/o comes with his fair share of issues. I talked to his worker today though and got the low down on everything. I do not think what he is facing is more than we can handle. I THINK. I have spent my time thinking about it and really a lot is typical of kids in the system esecially older kids.
They will be going through home studies soon and narrowing down "candidates" And a staffing will be held the 12 and a decision will be made then.

Picked one

OK I picked an attorney. THe ONLY one who took the time to talk to me one on one. I let the CW know she said Good that she likes this one. So I think that is a good sign ;)


On a side not my 2y/o is standing in front of the fan with his superman shirt and cape his cape is flying in the wind he says "da da daaaaa I flying"

HAHA

Well DH called me. They are back!!! but I still cannot see him until tomorrow because he has duty or as the kids say with a giggle DOODY.
He told me he let the folks at work know we were expecting. He said he liked doing it too just for the shock value. He got two comments, "Dang. how many kids DO you have again?!?!?!" and "You do know what causes that right?"haha.
To the how many kids question he answered something to the effect of "I am not sure rigt now. 7 I think?? ". He really enjoys messing with the guys at work I swear.
I did better today. I made it through school shopping at Wal-Mart!! Lots of stuff and some extras for the kids in the classes who need it.
I even took the kids to DQ for ice cream because they were so good!
I need to take a shower and clean the house some more but eh baby steps HAHAHAHA

Another Atta boy for Liam

I don't know how I forgot to post this. Liam got a Nintendo DS from DS#2 DS#2 upgraded to aa DS Lite for his birthday so he handed his down to his brother. Liam had a gameboy but it was a gameboy SP.
Anyway he had expressed an interest in passing it on to someone without one. Another kid from 'the office" Well fast forward to his worker coming out to check on him, she mentions whe know a boy who is in the office right now who needs one. Liam runs upstairs and brings down his gameboy and charger and hands it over. My 9y/o goes upstairs and get a game for this other little bo to have too.
I am very proud that mu boys are being so selfless.
I really think the whole fostering thing has really opened our eyes and hearts to the kids in the system. I aam amazed at the impact on our children though

YIPPIE!!!

I got two garbage bags of "fluffy girl" maternity clothes FOR FREE!!! OMG! I do not think this person has ANY idea how much this helps me. I got all 10 kinds of emotional about it. then again I am here watching COPS and crying. So I am hopeless.

OOOOOOK

'splain this to me please.
I get a voucher from the state in themail today. I think GREAT a clothing voucher. Then I look at it. This is for Bear who is 5 months old.... OK almost 6 months. He got a voucher for get this..... A mini voice recorder with tapes!! WHAT??? I guess the kiddo is planning on dictating his next novel. I got no notice from the SW as to WHY I got this voucher or exactly what I am supposed to record.
Maybe they want to hear my loud obnoxious singing of Veggie Tales tunes??? hehe
Seriously maybe it is for first words? It can't be for voice record keeping beause I take the most detailed notes and turn them in weekly they could not possibly want more. Most foster parents do not even do that.
I am curious to see what it is for.
I thought maybe for birth mom to talk to her son via recordings but why wouldn't they just send it to her?

I am amazed

at (or is it with?) my children. We pick up the kids for respite. My two year old says "Hi guys! Watch DVD?" He of course then proceeds to tell me I need to put on a DVD lol

Liam comes to me yesterday and asks, "what is our sisters name again?"

They are just so accepting of other kids and welcome them into our home.

I am....

SO tired!!
I will tell you two extra little ones make it so much harder. I am at the end of my energy level. I have a hard time walking through the entire grocery store without having to sit down to keep from passing out. 6 kids??? Well I would rather have the grocery store lol

It is that darn anemia that is getting me. Well that and prenancy. LOL but heck combine them and dang what a challenge.

As bad as it sounds I am counting the days until we are down two. I need the rest. Then school starts soon and I can get a little bit of rest and if I am lucky I can catch up on housework....maybe

one of my guilty pleasures

Whew

OK Bear as enough clothes for now. I got.... 42 shirts (a few sweaters long sleeves and short sleeves), 17 jeans/sweats, about 5 shorts,a few pairs of PJ's 3 jackets and 2 sweat jackets for $50! Not too bad. Considering he came with the clothes on his back one outfit that was too small and his older sister PJ's I think he is off to a really good start. That doesn't count what I bought him before this lol He is set through winter.
I love good deals and garage sales :p

One last thing for tonight

You know before doing this foster care schtick I never looked at a child and thought anything other than "oh what a cute kid" Now I look at kids and think "oh what a cute kid" THEN I look at/for FAS features.
Not that I judge the kids on these things. It is just such a huge part of our day to day that I seem to LOOK for it

don't hate me....

But I got more than half of my Christmas shopping DONE! can you believe it?? I am stuck as to what to get my 9 year old and my 12 y/o well his is expensive so we wait ;)
The only bad thing is if Bear goes home earlier than Christmas then well I won't get to see him open his toys.

Baby guesses take 2

Baby stat guesses

They are simply

ADORABLE!
My two respites are here. I think it makes it harder because I know they are free for adoption. I want to say they can stay forever! But no, they are here for 6 days and that is it.
I have a girl in the house. OMG that is new! I loved brushing her hair after her bath tonight. How silly is that? I really do think this house needs a shot of estrogen.

Baby related poll

Guess Baby G's stats

Todays adventure

I get to the OB. I get taken back to my regular OB's partners office for the exam. OK no problem she fills in for him should he be gone or whatever.... I will say however this Dr has the bedside manner of a troll. I will now call her Dr. Troll. She did my pap and pinched me! after I warned her and dang near gave her written instructions on how to do it without pinching me. Of course though I am just a patient and know nothing about my body. Let me rewind here a bit. She comes into the office originally and says "So why are you here? You were just here."
She looks at Bear and mentions "My God he has a huge head" WTF?!?!?!?! How rude of her.
So hormones and all. Dr Troll can kiss my arse!! I hope to NEVER ever see her again.

Get Mom a phillips Screwdriver....

is responded to with "Hey Mom I found my glasses in the garage on the fooseball table" Me: "son how'd they get there?" Him: "I have no idea" Me: " so where is that screwdriver?" Him: "Dang I knew I forgot something!!" He goes down stairs and then comes back up without the screwdriver AND without the other pair of glasses! Me: "Son WHERE are your glasses" Him: "Oh man!! ummmm I don't know"
I love him I truly do! However if anyone fits the title of absent minded professor it is him!! He has a brilliant mind just NO common sense and flighty as can be.
JUST now he comes upstairs afte being told to put his glasses in their cases so he doesn't lose them again. We put them in the case, he walks out of theroom and he comes back and says "Do you have my glasses?" OMG! He lost both pairs in their cases!!! I give up LOL

Th news my readers should have been told.

not like it is earth shattering or acualy news worthy... but here it is.
I am pregnant again. Teach me to laugh a little at the old wive's tale that once you adopt you become pregnant. I will be completely honest here and say this new turn in events totally took DH and I by surprise. DH is of course not home. He left before I found out!! I emailed him a picture of the digital test that said 'pregnant'. He honestly thought I was joking! haha We were told that without medical intervention a pregnancy would not happen.
I have had my first ultrasound and we saw a beautiful little baby bean with a wonderful fluttering heartbeat!
Tests revealed I am severely anemic. And the doctors are also testing my kidney function too. Yeah it appears I am falling apart or something haha. Seriously though I am glad the doctors are doing EVERYTHING they should be. I have to see a preinatologist as well. I am high risk and it seems that with each passing test something new is popping up that fits into that high risk category.
I am FAR FAR from out of the woods with this pregnancy. But we will see how things go. We are still going to adopt Liam. We are still inquiring about northwest boy for adoption too! Unlike the first thing out of my mother's mouth "Are you going to give back those 'other kids' " Yeah made me 10 kinds of angry!
We have just truly been blessed yet again.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Yeah that is how I feel today.
I took Bear in for his visit. Mom didn't show up. She called the SW and told her but I had already left (I had to go have bloodwork @ the Dr. done) So I SIT in the office for 40 minutes no mom so I am ticked. I had no idea that mom was going to be a no show. But yet I was left to sit in the office with FOUR kids. So I say hey i am tired of waiting and LEAVE!
I head up north to my doctor appointment I had this afternoon. I was a bit early so we hung out in the van talking for a bit. Turned into bickering with the older boys Grrr.
So I say OK change of scenery let's go into the Dr's office! I get in to check in only to find out my appointment was cancelled!! OK not the dr's fault there was an emergency. But did anyone call me?? NOPE !!!
So I drove about 100 miles today FOR NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My fuse is short my temper is quick and I feel guilty for being so pissy with the kids.
I want to just go to sleep. But the kids are still up. Calgon.... take me awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

You see that??

There on the horizon. Squint and you can juuuust make it out. See that?? It is our foster care payments!!! I got the invoice on Saturday and called it in. So next week we should get out deposit!! Holy moly... only two and a half months and we are getting the $.


On other news. Tomorrow I have to supervise another visit and I feel TERRIBLE why? well because I have a dr appointment tomorrow. One of those really hard to get appointments and I HAD to take it. So I have to cut our visit short. SIGH
I did get a BUNCH of clothes for Bear. Enough that he will be growing into them for the next several months. If he goes back to Mom in that time she will have enough to where she won't have to worry about buying clothes right off the bat. I know things are super tight for her. I am trying to get a store of toys together for him too. I have been supplementing most of his toys with all of the kids toys we have here. I am trying to budget more for Bear so he will have plenty to take with him for his moms. Court is later this month and we will have a plan and maybe a timeframe. I cannot make it because I will have the two respite kiddos.

I have asked

My adoption worker to submit our homestudy for a 15 year old boy who sounds PERFECT for our family. Not without his faults but heck who isn't. Plus he comes with a dog LOL That would be interesting.
Dh even said he would be a great addition to our family. This coming from a man who at the begining of this process was set against any child over 3. We have instead opened ourselves to considering a whole different age level. That Level is "umm under 18??" LOL

Love it!

I am watching one of my favorite movies, Whale Rider I bawl like a baby everytime. But I love the message of the movie. It is awesome .... check it out if you haven't.

Tomorrow I am headed to a powwow. I am meeting Bears birth mom there to make up for her missed visit. I am aparently one of the "nicest foster moms". OK If she says so. Now if they would pay me! lol I am nice but quickly becoming bitter lol. The SW was AMAZED we still haven't seen payment. Yeah well me too lol

Next week

I am taking on TWO more children believe it or not ONE is a GIRL!!! hahaha it is only a week though. I am providing respite for another foster parent. She could find NO respite providers at all in the area. Though these two are up for adoption too. I better not fall in love with them!!!

Whew that will be quite interesting!!
Me and 6 kids for the week. Ummm yeah fun abounds hahaha

GRRR & people amaze me (funny)

Well DH did not pick up his promotion. One of my capital A stressors this week Now that I know the results I am past anxiety and onto upset. DH is hurt. He is quite discontented and feeling unappreciated in his carer. if he weren't 2 years to military retirement he would have not reenlisted last year. I want to make him feel better but of course I won't even see him again for weeks so heck I cannot even give him a hug to console him.

Now for my people are idiots moment.
Idiot : "so where do you live"
Me: "_____ Island"
Isiot "oh, is that close to the water?"

Considering

You know if things with Bear work to where he goes home to family.... I have been entertaining the idea of adopting a teen. Not for any other reason than the NEED for these kids to have some sort of stable home. Someone to help them when they get older and how to be productive adults. The sheer amount of older children in our area alone who need placements is astonishing
Am I crazy?

Anxiety = stress issues

The past couple of weeks My body has decided that falling asleep befor 3am is unnecesary even WITH Ambien. I then sleep in until 9 am. THANK GOD that our babies are going through growth spurts and are sleeping a lot at night now. Through til they wake me up at 9am lol
I did look up places to stay in CO when we go there next year. I may actually get a place near where DH Grew up. This time we will have to take a day and 'play' in Denver as well. Of course family and friends darn well better want to see us ;)
I will try looking into a vacation rental too. That may be nicer with a larger family... though I would miss maid service;)

update on payment

Well tomorrow will be "two weeks for your payment" Yeah I have not seen the invoice which I have to fill out to be paid! After I complete the invoice it takes about a week. So ummmmm 2 weeks my arse

So who do I flick in the forehead?

Today the transporter was SUPPOSED to pick up Bear and take him to visitation. A few things happened all at once you should know.
1. Bears worker will be moving to another office as of next week
2. Bears worker is on vacation, until net week
3. Bears workers supervisor is ALSO on vacation
4. Mom has no phone now apparently

The trasporter called and I was initially NOT impressed with her professionalism on the phone.
So last night she calls saying well I don't think the visit will happen I cannot call mom and no one reserved a room for the visit etc etc.
But she would call this am to let me know what she found out.
Long frustrating story short. She could not get ahold of bio mom and no one in the office has talked to her so there was to be no visit.
I could not just go to the office (which is a 30 minute drive) because Liam had a therapy appointment in home today.
I am having one of two visions in my head. Each makes me angry. One mom took the bus hours to see Bear and was left in the waiting room with NO VISIT. Or two she relapsed and she 'forgot' and never showed.
So now there is no visit and no visit next week either because NO ONE has called me. I have to transport and supervise every other week (insert frustration here).

It figures

I got good news today, that is not the issue. But I am HOT I am cranky and I am tired. A lethal combination. Of course this is the night my 9 y/o loses his brand new transistions eyeglasses! The catcher. he put them where he wouldn't lose them. Well buddy ya get a big o' F on that don't ya?
The baby is cranky and wants held ALL the time, the 2y/o is fighting going to sleep... he actually called me a bad boy! for putting him to bed. And my husband. I love that man Lord knows I do. But whenever I have nights like this he calls all the time with silly things. One of those things I want to yell "Just make a decision and go with it I do not care" Of course that is mostly hormones talking. but you get the point.
Ahhh it is ok though I did have a nice conversation with my mother in law this afternoon. That is always a plus. I love that woman she is a great person.

Now I have less than a week to find out about one of my capital A stressors and about a week for the other. So bring it on! Let's get this week flying by!

How does nov 17th look for you ?

Yeah it looks good for us. Why? well it will probably the date that Liam's adoption will be finalized?!?!??!?!?!
Where do you set up registries for attorney fees?? hahahaha

I dislike the fact

that I am a worry wort. I dislike sitting here worrying about things that I either have no control over or I am not even sure will BE happening. UGH!
I should wear a scarlett A for ANXIETY lol

Gasp

After complaing about money I am going to ohhh and ahh over my recent purchase. I got a mink stripe body pillow at Costco. I went in for dog food and veggies, came out with a pillow too haha OMG!!!!!!!!! This thing is so comfortable. My old pillow is about 4-5 years old so it was time for a replacement. So I dusted off the wallet and spent a whopping $14 on my new pillow :p
It is so soft you just want to cuddle up with it all day long :)

THANK YOU!!

I had to go to doctor appointment today. That was OK not a huge deal. As I come in with three of my kids the nurse asks my age. When I say "32" she looks at me and says "You look much younger than that" Oh for me feeling so haggard lately and feeling old that comment made my day. I could have kissed her! Then again had I done that I am not sure they would want me back in that dr's office EVER again haha

Well I got a response

I am DIRECTLY quoting the first word "D'oh!"
I will be getting paid. I am not kidding when I say they are A LOT behind. But the kicker? It will still be about 2 weeks

She MAY be doing it

Mom has given CLEAN UA's and has a doctors note for missing all of the ones she did!! Next week she gets to visit with Bear! Holy Moly! She is on the right track. Cross your fingers she does it this time. I would be really proud of her if she did.

Sounding like a hypocryte

I do not foster for the money. I REALLY don't. If I wanted to be a paid babysitter I would make MUCH more owning my own in home daycare again.
That being said. I have not seen a cent for Bear. If it weren't for WIC paying for the bulk of his formula we would be in BIG trouble. He came with NOTHING, so we have had to get everything. I got my invoice for this month. My other son is on it but Bear isn't. So I finally called the worker and said hey...yeah I have no money for Bear could you look into this?
So let's see how long this takes to get solved. So I can say after dealing with 2 different offices. One works hard to make sure foster parents get any and all money they are due, this other one appears to take their time. The other office I got paid EOM when the kids were only here 2 weeks. Bear has been here umm 5 weeks? Almost 6 and I have not even seen proof of what we will be paid.

Last

Well ...... yawn...... we were the last case in the morning, So I was sitting in rock hard seats from 8-1230. The time for Bears case came along. It lasted 2 minutes. NO I am not kidding 2 WHOLE minutes. No neither of his bio parents made it to court. I was able to get child care for FOUR children and drag my butt into court bright and early but THEY couldn't make it. It is hard for me. I want to be so angry at these "parents". I want to find them and yell at them or flick them in the forehead or something. Bio mom did manage to contact her atty. So that is on the record she made that attempt. But do you know how many cases I sat through. Would you like to know the aveage of parents who DID show? 1 in 5. In gerneral I was angry today. I cannot understand people and their attitudes toward their children.
I did not get to speak today. I was not asked for any input. BUT my written statement was entered into the record. I am glad I wrote a statement otherwise I would have been voiceless. As would Bear......
Next month I have to go bac. SAME hearing over again but since biomom made the call we go through it again.
Possibly another Case in Oct if they want a fact finding case. But let's put it the way the wokrer did. If there is ANY chance that the fact finding mission will yield ANY truth to the charges chances are the bio parents will not want to pursue that trial. The fact is the evidence against the bios is so strong they will NOT want that on the record. So they will agree to the dependency hearing and "work their case plan". I however, the ONLY advocate in the begining, I doubt they will. They have made NO effort thus far why think they will do anything they are supposed to? But I encourge them to prove me wrong

Court tomorrow

Well I have to go to court in the morning for Bear. I am nervous. I am also wondering a few things. First, how long will I have to sit around the court room? I really hope we are first on the docket. Second, Since 'Mom' and 'Dad' have shown no interest in seeing him will they even show up to court? Third I hope my written statement goes over well. I technically do not have to show up at all since I submted my offical wrtten statement (and my log notes and a couple pages of pictures) to the court. But as Baggage mentioned even though do not have to be there showing up and having it in the records I appeared will look favorably on my side of the table, especially if we go to adoption. So I put on a skirt (EWWWWW) and sit my arse in the courtroom.

My little Liam has been a trying handful lately. I am just a bundle of nerves. So his grandpa saying he got the time off and would like to take him on that fishing trip could not have come at a better time!How terrible is that of a Mom to say?!?!?!
It is just HARD to parent spirited children or children with more issues than the average child. I hope this time out camping with Grandpa will be a stress reliever for us all.

I may be reinacting

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Well at least a scene. I went to our local fruit stand and bought a flat of blueberries and a flat of raspberries. That is almost all that I have eaten today. I may turn into a blueberry yet!

Bear

decided 2:30am would be a great time to complain and all about how small his co-sleeper is. Flailing around and hitting the sides. Sort of to say "Hey Mom?? Yeah I got HUGE!!" So I finally placed him in the crib about 30 minutes ago. So far not a peep. Yeah knock on wood.
But am I sleeping? Nope I am sitting here worried about him... he is in the next room!!! I need some serious help or something haha

I said no

We have unofficially 'closed our doors' to new placements. Not because we don't WANT more children but because we are one short of capacity now and we are not sure where things are going with Baby and all. On a side note Baby needs a nickname. We call him bear so I will call him Bear here as well :) There is another factor as well. Not to mention dh is out for awhile and well I don't want to take on too much. BUT all of that being said I FEEL GUILTY. I said no to our placement coordinator today. No to a little 4 year old, little boy of course.
Now the darn guilt is eating at me. I logically know we are not the ONLY foster home in the county but I still feel the need to take in all I can and help all I can. Le Sigh

Why is it

When you need to talk to someone close to you they aren't available? My husband is on the big grey beast somewhere on the water. My mom would be NO help. My MIL was asleep HOURS ago and if I call this late it better be life or death (which this isn't).
And darn Baggage must be sleeping too. Le Sigh.
So I have an email to DH and one to Baggage any money bets on who replys first??
OK I am going to try to go to sleep.

I have realized I am crazy

And maybe a bit...comfortably numb lol. Not only do I welcome a housefull of children and ALL of their laundry but I have TWO babies (well one baby one toddler)in cloth diapers. You know I have lost track of how much laundry I do. Or maybe I have blocked it out for sanity's sake?? haha

On another note. I put together the crib in the EMPTY bedroom, well full of dressers beds and now a crib but you get my point haha. Yes empty! And still empty. It is amazing. I will be putting him into the crib at nap times and maybe slowly transitioning him into the crib at night time???? Well within a couple of months at least.