snore....

So baby is asleep Miniman is sleeping after his crash from a sugar high (brothers birthday cake). DH stod the midnight to 8 am watch and slept only a couple of hours yesterday then came hme to the Grandpa meeting and dinner and cake. He is out cold too. The other two boys are downstairs on a videogame marathon ;) Wow... Maybe I should sleep too or something?/

I forgot today I lost a dang crown!! Same one that had come off several times befor. This time the post BROKE so yeah the crown is NOT going back on. I am at the verge of having the dentist pull the post :( It HURTS and it is now beyond repair and to be honest I cannot afford an implant or another bridge.

Whew

The meeting with Grandpa went REALLY well. We talked for hours. Did some typical visit get to know each other stuff. He told us he thinks we are "real people" and that Liam is a great fit here. He wanted to know when we will be adopting him and is completely supportive of us changin his name. He said he couldn't understand why in the world his biomom named him what she did. Baggage can attest to how flippin off the wall his birth name is.
Grandpa says he is happy and Will continue visitationin anyway WE feel is OK. LOAD off our mind trust me.
We learned Mom is on the other side of the country. She is currently clean but there is a reason, she is pregnant again. Yeah Grandpa says that it will end the same way. She ONLY got clean because she got pregnantand is leading the SAME life as before. Another child.... well I cannot tell you how upset that makes me. But this is another rant all together. Had she been in the area though I would have offered to take the baby too if needed. But being accross the country that won't happen I am sure....
So all is done with that first meeting WHEW

Maybe it feels just too right.

So I am sitting here tonight. My oldest son is in CA visiting his biodad for the summer. DH took our 8 y/o (who will be 9 Sunday!!!) and our 5 y/o to see the new Harry Potter movie. There was no way I could have went with the two year old and infant! So DH is out doing the daddy thing with the boys. They even ate junk food for dinner :) So here I sit in my huge room I have a two year old who likes to sleep lengthwise accross the bed, Nothing like knees in the kidneys. Baby is in his co-sleeper all swaddled and contently sleeping. My three dogs are in their respectiv posts. My dog is at my bedside. The one German Shepherd is guarding the door and stairs. No one will get past him. The other shepherd? Well he is playing the roll of electric blanket on our 5 y/o bed ;)
It gives me time to reflect how darn RIGHT things feel right now. Liam is testing boundaries. I honestly think he is waiting on me to say I am tired of him and send him packing. Nope we love the little guy and his phase he is going through right now.
Baby well he lights up your world :) A smile that just warms your heart.
It all feels right. Our family seems almost dare I say, perfect! Baby is into a routine. The two year old has mellowed a bit on his terrible pass me a valium twos. The 5 and 8 y/o play A LOT together and get along really well.
Ahhhh summertime bliss.

Chippendales in his future

My two year old is a little nudist. He likes to streak... let the 'boys' hang in the breeze etc.. You get the point. NORMALLY this display of his stripping skills is kept at home. Until today that is. We were in the Store. He was in the cart part of the cart... not the seat (rare occurance really) He stands up and starts singing...his OTHER favorite pasttime. The song? "We are the champions" by Queen (he sings it pretty well for two years old). anyway imagine this little boy singing we are the champions and starting to take off his diaper and shorts. Oh man! This little one keeps me on my toes!

More firsts & stuff

Well today Baby rolled over!! It was one of those "Wait a minute did he just do that?" things. Put him back on his tummy and sure enough he rolled again :)
First his first tooth now rolling over. He will be crawling next I swear.

Kudos
A two thumbs up to our doctor. I found out she neglected to note Baby's Mongolian spots. I do NOT want to be falsely accused of bruising the baby I made a point to ask the doctor to note them. Because they do resemble bruises (on Baby they are dark brown spots). Anyway I found out during a meeting about the state of Baby's case that it was not included in the well child check. I called immediately after and left a message for the doctor. that was yesterday. By this morning the CHET screener had a new copy of the well child waiting for her on her fax machine ;) She said it was the fastest she had seen haha

I got my new cell phone today! I know "so what??" but mine was so outdated I might as well have been carrying one of those HUGE phones from the late 80's haha

I got a voucher to get Baby some clothes since he came with nothing. $100. But I stretched that $100 until it screamed.

Higher standard

OK let me start by saying we really love all kinds of different cultures. We explore different cultures every opportunity we get I love testing out new foods (shhhhh hehe). That being said there is nothing like being told you have to do things for a child culturally when you KNOW their own bio parents don't do anything to enhance/nuture their culture. If I had this child on my own with a person of a different ethnicity/culture not one person require I expose this child to his or her culture from the fathers side. Like I said I do not mind doing it I am actually looking forward to it. It's not just a job it's an adventure hehehe It is just the inequality of requirements that makes me scratch my head.

OW!!!

Well Guess what? Baby who is a whopping 4 months old cut his first tooth!!
We have court later this month too about him so wish us luck :)

WOW

OK I went and picked up HALF Of Liams belongings. there were six med/lg boxes and a bag! That is on top of the clothes he came with. He is in seventh heaven to have all of his things again.
He keeps asking which of the kids are adopted? Is Baby adopted? Do you want to adopt him? Is my other little brother (our 2y/o) are my big brothers?
He has had a hard time grasping that I am birth mom to 3 of them. He has a hard time understanding NOT all parents loose their kids. He thought all Moms and Dads "gave" their kids to "the office". I explained only some Moms and dad's need time to get things safe in their lives. He then said he birth mom and dad would soon have a safe place. Have you ever tried to explain to a 5 y/o that "hey sorry kid, your birth parents screwed the pooch and are never getting you back and lost their parental rights"? Finding the right words is HARD. I explained the best I could and then stated two positives. One he has a really cool grandpa he can talk to whenever he wants and two when he turns 18 he can find his birth mom and dad and ask them anything he wants. That seemed to make him feel much better.
I think I need to be looking into books to explain adoption to kids too!

Oddities when it comes to dates......

When I met DH I thought it was funny that he has the same birthday as my brother. It was funnier when I found out I shared a birthday with his Mom and Aunt. Then outrageous when we learned our exes also shared a birthday. Hillarious when the dog I got DH also has my birthday.....Total accident honest!
Now I have had the feeling that Liam's birthday seemed very familiar. Well I figured it out. He was born on the exact due date of the baby I lost when I was 13 weeks pregnant. And Baby? Well he was born on the due date of my youngest though a different year of course ;)
Odd no?

Well I made the first step

I looked up Babys tribe online and placed a call. I am not sure how far it will get though. The CW said I was welcome to contact the tribe. I almost feel like it is a test. On of those "Let's see if she makes an effort" things. I emailed the CW Sat (I know she won't get it until Monday) to ask if there was a POC for the tribe I should have. The CW liked the notes I kept on Baby. She said she rarely gets things like that and she was impressed. All it is is notes about things that happen, I observe and any milestones that are reached.
Now I am sad for Baby too. I know he is in a home where TRUST me he is loved and well taken care of. But when parents do not even ask about their child or request the visits they are entitled to in 3 weeks...... Well that would break anyones heart. makes me angry too.
the question of the hour.... Will we be the adoptive placement for Baby? The CW made a comment she is glad we have an approved home study and that she hopes this is all wrapped up before it expires. What does that imply to you? Yeah me too.
So I will do my best to comply with everything and still keep notes and make court dates. Also I am doing my best to meet Babys cultural needs. Maybe the tribe will also look favorably on that?? Who knows. I have been reading up on ICWA and I am not any more clear than when I began.

OKie Dokie WTheck is going to happen?

I have Baby who is now 4 months old. Trying not to divulge any personal info. this is not his bioparents first dealing with not having kids with them. One child was to be adopted by a family member. That child was taken by the tribe to another family in another state. That case was in that other state while the family member (who WAS going to adopt)lives just around the corner from me. Baby's case is being handled by the state we are in..... confused yet? The SW called today and said "so you are his foster-adopt placement right?" Ummmmmmm I replied "oh we would LOVE to adopt him he is a wonderful baby, but last we were told the goal was RU". I got the impression from the answer that it does not look like it will go that way??

So at this point I guess we are identified as his possible adoptive placement?? But if the tribe gets involved and wants to take it over we could lose him.
Ugh major suckage. I know that he has the entire family wrapped around his chubby little finger. My DH and boys would JUMP at the chance to welcome him as a permanant part of our lives. I go in tomorrow to DCFS to meet with his social worker and have some screenings done.Maybe I will have more answers then? wish us luck.


Liams grandpa will be here next weekend! He is coming for our little mans birthday dinner. It will be nice to meet him. He did say that if we were uneasy with his communication with Liam to assure Liam did not get bounced around any more he would step out of the picture if that is what we wanted. I assured him we were happy he was there for Liam and we welcome him into our family. He did also state that his daughter (Liams bio mom) asks about Liam but he hasn't told her anything other than he is fine and will not say any more unless we want him to. So now we are at a point where we have to talk about that too. UGH. I am all for open adoptions honest. Having some sort of contact with her and us NOT with Liam would help all involved. But she is NOT someone I want in his life. When he is 18 that is up to Liam But at 5 he does not heed that inconsistancy and the drama some lifestyles bring.
Grandpa loves the pitures I send too. So my photography bug does not intimidate him haha

But Mom I want to!!

Liam: "it is not fair that I can't do the fireworks"
Me: "But Liam you are not old enough to use a lighter. But isn't it fun to watch them?"
Liam "then why even have a 4th of July?"
Me: "Because we are celebrating our independence as a country"
Liam: "what is independence?"
Me: "That is doing things on your own"
Liam: "oh you mean like LIGHTING FIREWORKS?!?!?!?!" as he stomps off

Yes the typical 5 year old wanting to be a big boy and do things that big boys do. My 12 y/o is not allowed to light fireworks. But of course in Liam's mind we are just being mean to him.

Tomorrow My husband has to go to DCFS and pick up 6 boxes of Liams belongings. Holy Moly! I have him doing it because to be honest not sure everything will fit in my van and heck the office is about 3 miles from his work and on his way home. Win win.
Liams counselor comes tomorrow as well.

Legally Free

In terms of adpotion I thought that that term would give me piece of mind. we took Liam in knowing he was legally free for adption. Parental rights had been termnated etc. First the mystery family member came forward then they stepped back. Then biodad comes forward!!! \his rights have been terminated. So you think that too bad so sad right? Well he has threatened to appeal. Not that he has a legal nor clean and sober leg to stand on. But you have got to be kidding me?!?!?!?!?! Now the fact that he MAY have some Native American in him has popped back up. So again they have to do that geneological search into tribal records. Once the paperwork is submitted by his case worker we have 60 days to sit and worry while the tribe has the opportunity to respond. Chances are they will not take an interest in his case should he even be found to have a tribal affiliaton. But the chance is there.
UGH UGH and triple UGH

My Little Liam

We have been discussing adoption and all....a lot. He HATES his birth name. If you knew it you would not blame the poor kid trust me. When I have to spell out his name to a dr or school or whatever, He says "My name is Liam". So we discussed changing his name when he is adopted. He was VERY excited. We talked about names and all of our names and how they all meant something or we were named after someone. We talked about changing his middle name and actually giving him two middle names (a sort of tradition we have). We think we know exactly what the name will be! He said he loves it. He has been practicing it all night and also is very proud his name will be after someone. He said he likes our last name too that it is easy but "I have to get used to being that name".

I forgot to update about his counselor. She came she did ask what we wanted out of conseling. My main goal is to make sure he deals with any grief and loss and that the adjustment goes well. She said she will do all she can with him but she is not used to a child being so well adjusted! HAHA can you belive that. She said she is usually tasked children with a lot more issues. This coming week Liam will be doing some art therapy ans opefully be able to get some of his feelings to the surface. Good news is I am not footing the bill huh? No seriously he had an OK time talking to her and he said next week should be "fun".

I am terrible

After gettingg everyone ready and sternly saying if you all do not have everything they wanted to take with them..... too bad. Once I locked the door that was it we were not going back for anything. Well Make it down the road 15 minutes and I realize I forgot my camera!!! Of corse my husband forgot the baby's formula too. While I could justify stopping to buy a can of formula I couldn't justify a new camera ;p
We made it down to the aquarium and come to find out though Liam has lived his whole life in this area he has never been to downtown Seattle and never been to the aquarium. First let me say that I am VERY happy that we bought the year passes to the zoo and aquarium with our group of seven today the aquarium pass has paid for iself already :)
We had a blast. Our two year old though was done with the touch pool after touching the first squishy underwater creature haha. The baby loved all of the lights and moving fish. He was comfy and content being carried in the sling for the most of the time.
We also went to Pike Place Market. I LOVE that place. I love the artsy feel of the downtown area all of the sights and the smells,, everything from the fresh cut flowers to the fresh baked goods. We OF COURSE stopped by my favorite Greek place and stood in line to even get to the window to order. Liam whined "I don't know why we are waiting so long for Greek foods" then after his first bite "oooooh this is goooood" I made a stop at Piroshky Piroshky Flaky buttery heaven I tell you!!
NowI am home and working on cleaning my room (I cannot be a hypocrite you know) and doin laundry. So much for a life of a tourist. Back to the grind.

Doughnuts!

Liam loves doughnuts. When he first got here I told him I would make whatever he wanted for dinner. When his answer was "doughnuts" I needed to go into the explination of what appropriate DINNER food was. But when asked what he wants to eat for each and every meal the answer was doughnuts. Today We took him out for a doughnut at Krispy Kreme! He was the happoest kid on the planet! Meanwhile my two year old was running around singing "No Nuts. Yummy No Nuts" After school girl tyoe laughter I corrected his pronunciation hehehe.
He however after two bites of Nonuts said that he was done and wanted his berries. He picked up a small basket of raspberries at the farmers market while we were there. He LOVES berries of all types but like Mommy he likes raspberries the best ;)
tomorrow we are heading to Seattle. We are hitting the aquarium and some downtown touristy stuff.
I almost ended up with two more boys this weekend. A placement was needed for a 3 y/o and 1.5 y/o boy. I would have said yes. But DH suggested we take a break a bit since Baby is just settling into a schedule and we are still recovering from having eight boys here. So I said no. It broke my heart and I still want to know how they are and if they have a home. I hae caring so much sometimes. I do not know how, but I care so much for these kids I never met :(

Oh yeah

Baby is on WIC now. The birth-Mom had used the checks though so I have to wait until next month.
BUT That will help out a TON

six shots later

Well I took Baby and Liam to the doctor today. The doctor came into the room and said "you I remember these kids are new though." She asked about the last sibling group I had here. I told her about the progress they made nd that they had moved to a relatives. She was happy to hear they did so well.
Liam is tall and at the perfect weight. The doctor did ask if I was sure of his age lol. He is a tall boy!! He seems healthy but has some swollen lymph nodes. He got two shots and he is all ready for school.
Baby is 3 months old and weighs over 19 pounds! He is in general good health. The doctor was happy he was in a safe place. Baby is always smiles and coos. He grabs your heart quickly! Four shots and he was good to go.
Tomorow we have an therapist comes here for Liam.
Them I have the weekend with nothing to do! yeah! Well with the exception of laundry!

Adoption pressures

One last post before I go to bed. I have doctor appointments for Liam and Baby tomorrow morning.
Liam has told me that he would like us to adopt another child. He says that Baby is nice but he wants another child his age to play with.
My Little Man asks everytime I am on the phone with a CW "Did they offer us more kids? Are we finally getting a girl?" So he loves to be a big brother but he wants a sister now! What have we been offered?? BOYS! Only girls when we cannot take them. It figures.
So there are my adoption pressures. It all comes from our own children though haha.

Oh my oldest called us from CA today to see how things went with baby today. My oldest is amazing with little ones and loves Baby to bits. He wants him to stay and it is hard to get him to understand that no matter the wants he has the first priority is to reunify with bio-parent(s)

Meeting

I was 5 minutes late. Yes that is atypical of me so I felt terrible.
Mom and Dad were there. They were very happy to see baby.
They were very nice to me. I assured the Mom and Dad I was taking good care of him and he is well loved and does not hurt for arms to hold him or someone to smother him in kisses. The Mom said he looked really happy. The grandma gave me a hug and apologized for not bein able to care for him and thanked me for being there. Not much was resolved but the parents now have an outline as to what needs to be done. If they complete it , time will tell.
There is another meeting in a couple of weeks. A different type of meeting but same concept. Seems redundant to me but eh our tax dollars at work LOL
I can say that I am almost positive he will be here more than a month. But ask me in a month and I will let you know how that prediction worked out hehe

Oh and

I shout to the heavens thank you for my breasts!!! Now that you have chocked on whatever you were eating or drinking. I breastfed my boys. So I used what nature gave me to feed my babies. Now there is NOTHING wrong with formula feeding heck breastfeeding is not for everyone.
Obviously I cannot breastfeed my foster son. Two weeks of formula cost close to $100. OMG!!! And with all of that money can they put some toward research to make the stuff not smell so rancid? ::::Shudder:::::

Nerves

tomorrow is the FTDM thingie at a hotel conference room (that made me laugh and wonder "dang how many people are coming?!?!?!"). This is the first one of these I have been through. I want them to see Baby and say "Oh look how happy he is! Awww heck just keep him" But we all know that doesn't happen. I will probably hear how the parent(s) are going to be offered x,y, and z programs to help them or that the tribe is going to get him or whatever. I know parents need a chance to make things right but there comes a point where you have to ask how many children will go through the SAME thing with these parents? UGH Things suck simple as that.

On another note Baby is now a cloth diaper baby! he is so much more comfortable. The diapers he was dropped off were at least one size too small. So I will just send the Huggies along with him when he moves to the next family.

FTDM

Well Baby's meeting is on Wednesday. I am looking forward to it on one hand, just to know what the future may hold for the little man. On the other hand I Am not looking forward to being there with the bios since my last experience was quite mixed. As long as these bios do not harp on clothes I will be OK lol


Back to my drop off ot Frankie, Pierce and Lance. Meeting Dad was OK though he never made eye contact and stayed on the phone. Meeting Mom and Aunt. Well the low blows and snide comments got to me. The SW was in a meeting so left me in the room with the bios and the aunt. I was VERY uncomfortable and I said after about 10 minutes I had to leave. They were harping on me about clothes. The boys clothes. This wasn't theirs did you remember this or that? Then the comments between Mom and aunt that were entirely meant to hurt me. Aunt is an older carbon copy of Mom. I am glad to be rid of the family. The kids I will miss. The family I won't

I hope meeting Baby's bios go better. This state is pushing the fosters and bios meeting and communicating. Sort of a mentor program. They were happy that I was going to the meeting tomorrow.

Want a baby?

Move next door to me!!
Seriously I got a call today about an adoptive placement.... before you get excited, we said no. but it was 2 girls 2 y/o and 5 months UGH UGH UGH I need a live in nanny and another bedroom!

Baby's worker called me. He will be here about a month. Give or take. They have contacted the tribe and started the ICWA stuff. Mom isn't getting him back and grandma cannot take on another grandchild.
So there we are. It is much more laid back with the other three gone. I will have to blog about my experience meeting the bios. Talk about uncomfortable.

Poop!!

Only Moms who have had babies will understand how important poop is. Dang near an obsession!! lol
Baby pooped and almost stunk us out of the house. OH MY GOODNESS. He is lucky he is so cute because that stink was baaaaaaad. lol
He is much happier now whether it was becauce of the poop or because he is settling in I don't know.
I still haven't heard from his social worker. I have no clue what is going on with him or his case or how long he will be here, the family team decision making (FTDM) meeting when that will be, or any progress with the tribal route either.
Liam is much happier. I think the amount of kids was too much for him too. He snuggled up on the couch with me and we chatted.
he WILL be starting Kindergarten in the fall :) He may have a special ed component to it or an IEP but we will see. I am also waiting on the referral to UW for the FASD evaluation.

Well

having a little baby takes up a ton of your time. We are having (well I am) the hardest time with bedtimes. Last night was MUCH better. He slept two four hour stretches. But getting his TO sleep is a pain. I think he is used to sleeping IN bed with someone?? But because of 'privacy' I will never know. The babe is part Native American (Alaska native?). That will more than likely throw a wrench or at least a TON of red tape in any possible adoption. IF (HUGE IF) it goes there. But heck not having any contact with the social worker is a bit hard lol. I have nothing for him medical card, info, folder NADA i did get his birthdate and last name yesterday. Yeah I seem to always get these kids. A drop and go or here is the kid I will hope to get you more info soon. The only typical and by the book foster care placement was our ADOPTIVE placement LOL I can see where foster parent burnout comes from.

Tomorrow I say goodbye to my First three foster sons. It will be so hard. I am not looking forward to it on one hand. On the other, well eight children is too many! I love each and every one but with eight and the latest being a bity baby and us getting used to each other yeah NOT fun.

The news

I try not to watch it too much. First my oldest would obsess over the news and think everything he heard would happen to him or to the family etc. He is better about it now but I still hate to watch it sometimes because of the stories about kids. Much like this story which hits home because well not only am I a Mom but I have a child in my care around that age

http://www.kirotv.com/news/13529889/detail.html

Police: Lake Stevens Baby Dies After Pacifier Taped To Face

POSTED: 9:59 am PDT June 19, 2007
UPDATED: 2:41 pm PDT June 19, 2007

LAKE STEVENS, Wash. -- A woman has been arrested in the death of her 4-month-old son after telling authorities she had taped a pacifier to his face to keep the device in his mouth.

Bonnie M. Desmond, 20, of Lake Stevens, was arrested by police in this town east of Everett and booked into the Snohomish County jail Monday night for investigation of first-degree manslaughter, with bail set at $100,000, according to the jail Web site.

An autopsy was scheduled to determine the cause of death.

The woman called 911 about 11:30 a.m. Monday and said her baby was unconscious, but paramedics who rushed to the home she shares with her fiance found the little boy had been dead for hours, Fire District 8 Deputy Chief David Lingenfelter said.

The woman told police and medics that a half-hour earlier she found the infant dead and ripped the pacifier from his face, then called her fiance before notifying authorities, according to documents filed by prosecutors.

Prosecutors wrote that after the mother overheard detectives talking about sudden infant death syndrome, she indicated the pacifier had been taped to the child's mouth to keep the device from falling out.

She was arrested following an interview with detectives, police Cmdr. Dan Lorentzen said.

No other children live in the home, the fiance was not under investigation in the baby's death and both parents have been cooperating with the investigation, Lorentzen said.

Formula.

You know I am new to this whole formula thing. And bottles.... WHEN did they make so many choices?!?!?! There are nipple sizes? HA new to me!
And a side note. Formula STINKS! And no baby poop yet. But from what I have read it seems that formula babies are not as 'regular' as breastfed babes.

We made it....

through the night. It was a lot of trying different things to see what worked. Now tonight to see if what worked was actually right of if he was just exhausted and fell asleep haha.
Liams worker called. We are now considered his pre-adoptive family. If you could see my smile you would know how darn happy I am!! Grandpa called the worker so now he is aware of what is going on. He was not happy with the way it had happened at all. Then again no one is. But he is just concerned that Liam is happy. I called him this morning and left a message so he can get a hold of us. We are to determine what we feel is appropriate as far as visiting. For now we will start with phone calls and see how that goes.
Actually Liams worker had about 6 calls about Liam on her machine for when she came in this morning. Only one was from me. But the school, therapist (who is coming to our house for the appointments!), grandpa and the old family all left messages too. One popular kiddo haha.
Liam got sick last night and was so upset at himself because it was on the carpet. It took a lot of reassurance that I was NOT mad I was worried how he was and he kept asking if I were mad about the floor. Poor kiddo. You know it seems I get kids who are scared of making mistakes. They are all shocked when I say no one is perfect not even Moms and Dads

I wish

At times like this I wish I DID have contact with the last caregiver of my foster child! Here I am with a cute little three month old boy. But I know none of his routines. How does he like to be burped? How does he sleep? How often does he eat..... well you get the point. It is just like having a baby for the first time I guess haha
I cannot wait to see how long he will be here or what the darn situation is! I cannot imagine though what the family must go through not having the child with them. This situation is a bit different but still I was rocking this crying baby and I was wondering if the parents/relatives were thinking about him at that moment. I don't know it is hard to explain.
I may be updating a lot more if I am up all night with the baby so be ready haha

three hints

Small
adorable
and
that new baby smell

Of course a BOY! A beautiful chunky three month old boy!
We are not sure if he will be here long. but all of his other siblings are in care or adopted already.

Open

With Liam we will have an open adoption. The only contact he has though is with his grandfather. His grandfather has been the only stable force in this little guys 5 years on this earth. I am 100% willing to continue the contact with grandpa for as long as Grandpa is willing. Heck I simply see it as more extended family. Liam and I discussed inviting Grandpa to his birthday party (which is months away lol). I even discussed with his social worker (she brought it up) Changing Liams actual name. If any of his classmates were to find out his birth name he would be mercilessly teased for the rest of his school days. Anyway the SW and I discussed changing Liams middle name to his grandpa's name to give him that connection to his birth family. I think it is a perfect idea.

Weird thing I had a dream last night that Grandpa called. See Grandpa is out of town and has been out of town since before Liams last family kicked him out. Yes kicked him out. I see the way they did things and the motives as not noble or heck parental at all! Grandpa has no idea that his grandson is not in the place he thought he was safe and loved. I am not afraid Grandpa will want to take him from us. He has already been deemed 'not a suitable placement' for Liam. I guess I am afraid that because of this last family he will not like us or be slower to trust us. That make sense? Anyway I have had the urge to call him all day long. I do not want to until I talk to Liams worker though. Heck not even 100% positive he is home yet.
So Monday I will be making a call to the worker to see what is going on and if I should call or not.

On another note. The three boys Frankie, Pierce and Lance leave approx. mid week. DH and I have a running 'bet'. He says we will not make it to the weekend without a placement. I say two weeks.
My proud mama moment. Frankie won an award at school. It was for, courage! He really felt special and I think it is wonderful he was nominated for his classroom.

Something I forgot to mention

which is ironic considering it is about memory. Liam has been tagged with the "cannot remember anything" tag. As we are driving up to the DCFS building he asked if I was dropping him off there? Was he going to see Ms K? Was he going to live somewhere else? Would he get to see his birth mom and dad because it had been a long time. After I dropped the three boys off for their visit Liam and I went to buy army men. Which are impossible to find!!!! We talked about how he wasn't going to live with the old family and how he was staying with us. He said that he hopes so because he lived at X persons home, then with grandpa, then a persons home then the last home and then us. Naming each person in order! He has more in there. There is a lot to be uncovered with this little man.
I am now Mom to him, He gives hugs freely and always wants to be a part of anything I am doing. He is attaching well

More on our outing

Things went really well.
Here we are, Mom and Dad with seven boys in tow. When we walked and met someone new they started counting. I just smiled and said "Seven. Yes all boys" They we so darn well behaved. Seriously there were people there where there one child was being such a little brat. Yet here we come with our brood all saying their pleases and thank yous and excuse me's but having a wonderful time. They boxed with oversized gloves threw footballs and kicked soccer balls into this target thing. They ate ate and ate lol played on the playground and ran around. My bio boys the oldest two went on the alpine tower and the zip line swing. Not something I could give the OK for with foster kids....
Everyone commented on how great the kids were and how busy we must be. They asked if they were all ours. My answer is always "yes they are all mine" because each in their own way either by foster, by birth or (soon) adoption is MY child.
One lady said "are all of these boys yours by birth?" Ahh good question. Turns out she is also a foster mom ;) But to teens. But it figures she would know the 'right way' to ask.
The CO of my husbands ship said he was impressed with the kids and proud of us. His wife said she admired us. That is so odd. It was GREAT! But it felt weird to have someone say that you know?
I always get one of two reactions one is of appreciation the other is pity? Maybe distain? Not sure. These, negative reactions, are probably the ones who believe we do this "for the money" Which in itself is laughable. Probably the ones who have the visions of foster parents like the foster family in Antwone Fisher or something.
All in all it went spectacular and I am proud of ALL of my boys. Days like this make me want to go to places like amusement parks with them all.... then I come back to reality ;)

Liam

is sick. Poor kid. He is just so lathargic and well generally "feeling icky". The picnic went well today. But With Liam feeling bad he curled up on a bench with me or Dad and slept.
He is home now in bed snoozing away again. Poor thing I hope he feels better soon.
On another note my 8 y/o climbed a FIFTY foot tower today! He of course then Rappeled down :) I am a proud mama!!

Invading force.... or hoarde

Tomorrow DH's ship is having a picnic. My dh RSSVP'd for NINE. They thought it was a joke, or maybe an attempt at trying to win all of the door prizes but nah it is all our family. So we have to take two car... BUT I know the boys will have an absolute blast!
Everything from rockwalls, water balloon fights and bounce houses to a team building tower (rapelling zip lines tightropes etc) to of course food!
It will be quite interesting to show up with our crew! I hope to take a lot of pictures and all that good nonsene. I SOOO wih I could share them here!
So wish us luck that we get a big flat screen tv or better yet... a gift certificate for the commissary or a Costco Cash card would be a god send!! But hey I would be happy if all of my kid have a terrific day and behave the bet that little kid can. Hey I wonder if they will be giving away gameboy advance DS lite I have one little man that would be beside himself.

I make

him feel safe I think... Liam was in bed and came and said he sees vampires and scary things when he closes his eyes. The think of something happy trick didn't work so he came back. The compromise? He could sleep on the floor in my room. Within oh...2 minutes he was snoring away!

Is it odd

That the little ones (fosters) call me Mom? especially so quick. I understand I have three here calling me mom all the time. Maybe it is just trying to be part of the "crowd" or is it a need to have that Mom figure?

Relative search

It is the law that they make a relative search when there is a legally free child. Liam has had several relative searches. Each time one person stepped forward and expressed an interest and then faded away without any more that that. Since his last adoptive placement was disrupted, they, the state, had to preform another relative search. Today the CW heard back from the mystery relative who left a message Monday. She talked to them about Liams current living situation his possible issues with FASD. The relative then said that they were glad he was happy and that they will withdraw their interest!!!! They say he is a bit much for them,they are an older couple. Now we are just waiting for Liams grandfather to get home so we can meet him. he still has and will continue to have contact with Liam over the years. He is the only stable piece of Liams life sadly.

A 'relative'

I am worried now. some distant relative has now come forward again. He wants to talk to the social worker about Liam. OH MY GOSH!!! If someone who has "never met him" comes forward after how many relative searches???? and wants to take him in I think I will be sick.

The worker says she will tell this relative that he is in a home that WILL accept him and all of his difficulties and special needs. She does think that once the person hears about his problems they will say "no thanks".

You know on another note..... I was the ONLY one that has read his file that noticed his problems at birth?!?!?! The only one who saw those may be a leading contributor to his issues?

With the good

comes the bad as well.
Dh's Dad (FIL) has been in the hospital for about a month. He has gallbladder problems that went bad basically/
Yesterday he basically crashed and was rushed into emergency surgery. Last we heard he made it through but was still on a vent. Stressful crap.
DH and FIL do not have the best of relationships.... or even any real relationship in , what? almost 15-20 years? But It is still his dad. I know DH is hurting about the whole damn thing. And with the whole work thing he cannot get any time off to go to CO to see his dad. Last night he said he doubted that he could even get time off for a funeral! ugh

TAG

We're it!
We are the only family at the moment being considered to adopt Liam ;) I am STILL reading the file.
I do not see how people with children with more of a sorted past can cope with reading the information.
It is so hard to read that information and then look at this little boy you have who is happily playing Rescue Heroes and think of him going through those things. And you then wonder why??
So should we still be interested in adopting him after reading the record we are good to proceed with adoption. Like I said things are never slow moving here....

On a lighter note....
I made a promise to Liam. You know the ONE thing he wanted? Army men :) Not the big GI Joes or anything but simple little green army men. You don't think I am buying his affection by spending $2.00 on a bag of those little guys do you?? hahaha

forever

Yes it is true. We MAY be Liams forever family. The SW was happy with the way Liam was behaving and how happy he was. And before you wonder how I get Stepford children. He was NO angel haha but he was a typical boy and apparently I parent well or something hahaha.
I have his file to read. It is honestly about a foot thick.
Lord not light reading that is for sure.
However if we are still interested AFTER we read it we look like we are good to go. Who would have thought looking at a photolisting would actually lead to an adoption. WOW

Excitement

OK Liam has plenty of issues. But they are all totally workable. He seems happy here and is adjusting well.
Just knowing he is LEGALLY FREE is exciting to me. Knowing there IS a possiblity we could be his forever family.....
But I would hate to heat from his CW that the other family is interested in him and they are chosen or something like that. That would be one hell of a blow. tell me how is it that we bond to these kids so quick? I know there are kids I have met and don't really care for. It seems though that all of the children placed here have been a great fit.
Liam has a kindergarten pre-placement screening on Wednesday to see if he is actually ready to start school in the fall. To think the CW says they have "been trying" to accomplish this for months at his old house. Either the CW is exaggerating or the old home was REALLY dragging their feet.
Liam seems to do well with his letters and numbers etc. He knows his colors too. He interacts well with his peers too. So we will see if it is K in the fall for him or if he will be 'home schooled' for one more year.
You know too the CW said she wants a SAHM for his adoptive placement. DH said sort of a duh they (the kids) need that. Then we started discussing since that is a requirement for the adoption can that be considered as part of the adoption subsidy? Hmm Guess I should do some reading huh?

we venture

out today..... Some bad weather and an adjustment period has caused some at home time. So today I will take Liam and a couple of the other boys out for haircuts and get some milk (I still need that cow). We will see how he does. Liam has not had any sensory issues. No over stimulation or signs of under stimulation. But I would like to expose him to other situations to test how he will do.
I have been keeping a journal of observations about Liam. I will ask his social worker if she would like a copy of it when I see her on Tuesday. Does it seem strange I am keeping a journal? haha

Memory

Liam has some issues with retaining information. We know, well suspect it is from bio-moms lifestyle while pregnant and/or lack of interaction in the formative years.
He is doing well so far with constant remiders and our "eyes on me" approach (he has to make eye contact-though not constant while being talked to) He is also doing well when being asked to confirm what was said to him.
I think he would benefit from some labeling around the house. Marking the sock drawer with the picture of socks and the word for example.
However I cannot get them made the way I am envisioning them. UGH
I tried DLTK for a template but no such luck. That site is great for chore charts and reward tickets etc.

there comes a

point in your life when you smack yourself in the forehead for actually saying something outloud. When dh comes up with the online price quote for a FIFTEEN passenger van and I say "that is about the right size"...... Lordy we have a lot of kids. Logic being a 15 passenger van has more cargo space. I guess for groceries lol

one more thing....

I give this standard speech all the time. The speech is what our 'private' areas are and how we are not allowed to touch anyone elses and they cannot touch ours and if something like that happens they have to tell an adult immediately no matter what the 'offender' says/threatens. BUT that they are allowed to touch their own private area as long as they are in their private space or the bathroom but never in front of anyone. That is the trimmed down version lol
That is followed by nobody is allowed on anyone elses bed ever. This part normally goes over just fine. Until I got... "But you and dad sleep in one bed are you breaking the rules?" DOH!!!!!

Testing

Liam is testing his boundaries a lttle. What he doesn't realize is that I have been here befre. I have a child who tests us every day. I know the games buddy ;)

But really he is a good kid. Typical of a 5 year old....well he is about a year behind, so more like the behavor for a 3.5-4 year old but you know. Liam is TALL too as tall as the 7 year old here so he looks older and acts younger.
I am amazed at my 8 year old he is awesome with kids. He has tried to make him feel comfortable and all.

He has said he is not sure what he will call me yet. I told him my many names Gina Miss Gina, Mom, Mama, Mommy and he could pick any of those. He said he would have to think about it haha

It was hillarious. He is currently sleeping on the trundle bed which is basically a "drawer" that you pull out (OK so I am Miss obvious that is the defintion of a trundle right?hehe) but it is a twin bed. He looked at it when it was still under the beds and said, "If I sleep in that bed I will be squished!" hehe he was much happier when I showed him how it pulled out and that he does not have to sleep under the beds n a drawer :p

He is here

Little boy has arrived "Liam" is here and loves the dogs and all of his "new brothers". He loves the dogs too. I am sure there will be issues after this "honeymoon period". A disrupted adoptive placement is going to be hard. Poor kiddo. He will be so confused. Good news is he came with clthes and even his gameBoy! So no running out to get stuff for him. DH Will be home tomorrow. Hard to explain to Liam why dad isn't here now. He will fall into the routine soon enough

Hey for thse 'in the know' what are the chances if the family changes their mind and realizes they made a mistake that Liam will be placed back with them?

I must be crazy

seven boys here?? for two weeks though so not that long. Like I was telling the placement coordinator I must be destined to be the mother of boys ;) She did say she "owed me" and we are on the top of the list for a baby.
Frankie said that he hopes this new foster brother gets to be our forever son. Because he would be a lucky boy and we would be happy too together as a family.
My middle son said "Mom you are lucky that I am good at ths big brother thing because it looks like I am going to have to show another one the ropes" haha
DH has a family picninc day for his ship (He is in the Navy) I think he secretly loved saying "me, my wife and seven sons will be there" he did however threaten to buy a Greyhound bus to replace our family car!!!

Extension...........

GRANTED!!!!!!!!!!
Little Boy should be here by tomorrow!!

if anyone

says things in my life move slow they need to be slapped!!!
I got a call this afternoon Little Boy needs a placement. If they can grant an extension for us he will be here TOMORROW!! Things were going to be if we were picked the three foster boys would have laready moved and I would be free and clear to take on more children. But with his current placement ending so abruptly....well things change!
This does NOT mean we are picked to be his adoptive placement. UGH Craziness I tell you

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are now down to one of two families consdered for little boy!!! I am downright giddy. I have been asked to come in and review his file too :) OMG! Keep those good wishes coming!!!

WOWWOWOW

Well we are on the short list for a little 5 y/o boy. He is darling he has a messed up name.... some people name thier kids odd stuff lol. But he will be placed this month. It is an ADOPTIVE placement :) could I smile any bigger?

I got

Well I ended up getting the dark cherry full over full bunk bed with twin trundle.
I may hae it and have it up before my oldest leaves for summer vacation. If not well..... The youngest will enjoy it ;)
I got a bed rail from freecycle so I will have that for the bottom bed when I put it up. That way the baby won't fall out of the bottom bunk. He is of course too young for the top bunk.

Speaking of summer break... I wonder if I can expand our license for when my oldest s gone durig the summer? Maybe respite care or something?

and

As I am thinking about it more. I am more open to fostering than I was orginally. eh how things chage so darn uickly

Support

tonght I went to my first foster parent support meetng. It happened to be a training that introduced a new program that will begin to be implimented this fall. A foster parent bioparent meeting and possibly a mentor program. This should be interesing if nothing else. It will of course only be done with the sfety of everyone involved in mind. Plus this meeting is included in my continued foster parent training hours! Bonus!

We all had to go around intrducing ourselves. I was the second one up to the plate. I stated my name and that I have been fostering for about 45 days and I have 6 boys at home. Would you believe I got a huge round of applause?!?!?! Both for being a foster mom and beng new and six boys hahaha

I met our placement coordinator. She has me on her list of 'open homes' for when the boys leave. She said do not expect much of a break unless I needed it (my opportunity to jump in if needed to say "Give me some down time").
I will keep you all up to date on future placements.

In a few weeks we will have 9 beds and 3 kids. Depending on the situation they will allow the twin trundles to be counted as beds. well wait include the toddler bed, crib and co-sleeper heck we are golden with 11 lol :P not that we would EVER fill every bed with a child.


I also enrolled for the free online foster parent training courses. I will knock out my hours before I am due to be relicensed with no problem!

so there ;p

The boys went to their visits in THEIR clothes (I find this ridiculous) the pants were too short on the oldest shirt too small on the youngest but hey I have to keep up with the wishes of the biomom right?? There was also the incident that biomom wouldn't go back into the visit room so I was "hid" in an empty cubicle.
We (DS#3 & I) went to a local park and had a lot of fun.... OK an hours worth was what I could stand haha then off to Costco in the remaining hour. So I got a lot done. Then I picked the boys up :)
I am trying really hard to not distance myself emotionally from these boys. It is not fair to them and it will make my life hell too.
Tomorrow I have a foster parent support group meeting. Heck it counts toward my training hours so it won't kill me ;)
I am exhausted and the weekend is rapidly approaching no rest for the wicked.

they took it ok

Frankie gave me a very disappointed "whyyyyyyyy" but I explained they are going to live with their family member etc..... they took it alright.
My middle son talked to me later and asked if next time we could "just adopt...and maybe a girl....but just one"
I have a killer sinus headache. I am sure the crying earlier did not help at all
Now to get ready for the visit tomorrow. I have all of THEIR clothes they can wear and that will be a fun fight when they want to wear something else. But as long as "Mom" is happy right?? Ugh

Sad day

I got the phone call today the boys will be going to family next month.
I am heartbroken. I am on one hand elated they will be with family but on the other hand I am upset they are leaving here.

Let me bitch that the mom COMPLAINED that the kids were not wearing "the clothes she bought" and that her youngest son had underwear on that were too small. Umm lady those underwear ARE the ones you sent him with. And oh my goodness they are dressed in other clothes. SO SUE ME! Old Navy and Gap I think, same things my kids wear. Crazy woman

bunkbeds.....

'Tis that time agan. Time to upgrade another room to bunkbeds.
I got this one for the middle boys room


It is a full (double) on top of full bunk bed and we got the optional twin trundle bed

For the oldests room his furniture set is all in cherry stain. So I am down to two choices both full/full bunk beds.
This one (has an optional twin trundle)




Or this one without the trundle again also in cherry



What do you think? I know where I am leaning toward but I am still undecided. The cost is a little more for the bed with the trundle of course

Everything

Is a lesson.....
Today Frankie asked me when I got Gunther, our German Shepherd. I explained he had a family before but something happened and they left him all alone in an apple orchard and he was just eating apples to survive. We found hm at the shelter and took him home to be a part of our family. He said "Like us!! he was lucky to come here" I told him that we were the lucky ones that we are able to share a life with Gunther. Just like I feel very lucky to share our home and our lives right now with him and his brothers. He asked about the other German Shepherd so we told his rescue story too. Then the conversation went to bugs or something like that hahaha BUT I think it was an awesome connection he made.
Tomorrow is speech class for Pierce He is doing so well. I cannot wait to hear about his progress tomorrow.

milk and frogs

Oh that title begs to have a reference to the frog in a blender joke... hehehe

I took the youngest 3 to the store. We picked up milk and eggs. I am up to about 5 gallons of milk a week and a dozen eggs per breakfast (or for egg sandwhiches like this afternoon) I will have to purchase the 5 dozen eggs at Costco weekly. I took out miniman, Lance and Pierce out today. Since they were so good I told them they could pick out another aquatic frog. Well that one frog turned into 6 tetras and three guppies as well. but the fish tank s great fun for the boys to look at and play 'find the _____ fish'
I am beat so I am going to head to bed.

Well....thank you

We went out to our favorite local mexican food place. All of the boys were spectacular! One lady stopped by our table and commented we had a wonderful family and very well behaved children :) I smiled huge and told her thank you. Her husband said earlier there was a family with 6 girls and we should arrange some marriages lol

dinner

We are taking the family out tonight. Our big ol' party of 8 hehe I just do not want to cook tonight. So out for cheap but wonderful food. Great little family friendly place too. Wish us luck. Frankie and Pierce have been doing much better when we go out in public so I am ready to give this a try.

Call

well while we were all out front. I was cleaning the car and we were blowing bubbles and riding bikes etc. I come back in to a message on the machine about a placement. A 5 year old boy. First thing everyone knows we are full lol. But apparently we are "good with boys". Yeah .... Well I called back and of course no one was there. But I did leave my message so we will see. Again there is such a need for foster and adoptive homes but yeah they cannot all come here hahaha

One reply

We have put in an inquiry on two children. One 12 year old boy and one 3 year old girl. The one worker they had listed for the boy is no longer his worker and the actual current worker has not replied. The girls worker got back to me only to state the things she saw as wrong with ths girl. So I requested some claifications that will help us make our final decision to even get more info.
I still feel extremely terrible that while I am working with the boys and preparing them for when they go back to live with their mom and dad (or mom and boyfriend or Dad or whatever dynamic).....I am hoping that there is no family that comes forward and that the state moves for TPR and asks us to adopt these boys. I am the lowest scum I swear.

oh yeah

The late issue is resolved. No worries. As I said all it took was posting about it lol

Proud of Pierce

His speech therapy was today again the speech therapist said he was making amazing strides and flyng through things. She says that some children spend months on thngs he has flown through. She said that has lead her to believe hs issues were completely environmental.

Pingo!

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Nah I didn't mean Bingo ;) Pingo is a calling card ( prepaid calling card provider) service. We have been through the whole virtual International rechargeable phone calling card service & calling card thing with dh being in this or that country tryng to call home. We had one card once that was usable for about 5 minutes because the fees ate up all of the money on the account. Talk about a pain in the butt. It seems that so many companies have a hidden agenda or fine print to just take all of your money. From what I have seen Pingo is pretty good. Add onto that an affiliate program that pays you what? $15 per referral? yeah that is a good thing

I almost cried

I know in this sea of testosterone I live in I was very close to being VERY girly. The reason is good though. Frankie told me "Goodnight, I love you" He turned around and smiled when he saw the look on my face (I am guessing). This is HUGE!! OK I will be on cloud nine about that one for a while.

Celebrities....date one... it is the in thing haha

Ok there are a few celebrities I would love to have a date with. I know I know "but Gina you are a happily married woman" I know but let's face it I have as much chance to date a celebrity as I do a meteor falling on our house. Slim to none... yup. I know this I have faced it. I am OK with it but a girl is allowed to dream hehe.
So I admit sometimes dreams do come true for some people. There is this site out there now where you can win a date with a celebrity. Every time I type that I think of the movie Win a Date With Tad Hamilton. OK time to reign back in my train of thought before it derails. Anyway folks can enter a to win a date with Actress, Mirelly Taylor who has appeared on movies such as Kiss Me Again and Serving Sara and television shows including “Las Vegas”, “Punk’d”, and “Numb3rs”. No SHE isn’t my dream celebrity date (sorry to kill those thoughts ;) ) I think she is very pretty and will make some fan very happy to be able to have a date with her. What an opportunity. I am looking forward to checking out the winning submission. There are some spectacularly creative people out there.
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My Mom

She knew we had these boys as fosters. She is aware of us trying to adopt....eventually (probably not these boys but still...). Tonight she was sitting n my room with my as I was getting the two babies ready for bed. Frankie came in and started talking to me. We have chats ofte about almost anything under the sun. today it was about how the oldest is not 'the dad's' "born from him (his explination) son". How he didn't know because he treats him like hs son and how someone does not have to be related to love one another. Then we started to talk about God. Pretty deep stuff for a seven year old ;) anyway my mom was about in tears when Frakie was done chattng. She said how you can hear about the kids and know they are in foster care but your whole attitude about them changes when you meet them and see how much they thirst for human contact and interaction. She worked in the jails and in dispatch like I did. She saw/heard about kids coming vrom some crappy situations. But that first meeting to seeing them thriving n a foster home. so much different. She sees how they react in a normal... though busy house. The problens they are facing in attitude, behavioral,social and speech etc. She said she cannot help to be angry with the bioparents and what they have done to these kids. She equated what she was feeling with the feelings of hate,disgust, and utter disbelief of animal abuser on Animal precibct on Animal Planet.
She just could not understand why poeple do what they do

haha

DH was being proud papa at work and was showing pictures of the boys at work. One of hs co-workers said that the second youngest (Lance the youngest foster son) doesn't look like him, but the rest do LOL

I laughed and told dh I was sorry he had to find out ths way, but Lance was not his biological son. hahaha

It seems like just last month....

that I got my dear litle Frankie now he is SEVEN!! Oh wait I did just get hm last month hehe But he is such a big boy now.
Visitation with biomom and biodad today. They were gracious enough to buy him such illustrious gifts as a guitar and an electronic keyboard. I did draw the line at Frankie playng the guitar in the car like his biomom sad he could. yeah NO not going to happen. The went into the visits nice and calm (but yeah still little boys)came out the little hellions that first came here..... hitting and yelling ugh.....
I do have a huge gem for the day though. I made strawberry shortcake for dessert. Frankie said once he loved them. We put a candle in it and everything. He asked me "How did you know I liked this?" I said "because you told me sweetie when you first got here" he said with a huge smile "You remembered?" "Yes sweetie I remembered" to which I got the reply "sweeeeeet"
He ble out his candle and ate his dessert. Then came present time. Yeah I will never forget it. He got a TMNT toy, a book, PJ's, a towel and Pokemon cards. Frankie turned to me and sad "Wow how did you make my birthday wish come true so quick?" AWWWWWWWWWW All he wished for for his brthday was pokemon cards. But the fact I was able to grant his wish.... well that is just too darn cool and one heck of a memory for me.

the plan

is for the boys to be in foster care for 6 months....give or take of course depending on their parents and if any family member wants to take them in. One month has already passed....where does time go? There were times that I thought 6 months was forever. But it does not seem like long at all. I am not going to be OK when it comes time to say goodbye.
Is it bad that somewhere in the back of my mind I wish that they would stay? I suppose that is normal. I do hope though they do not lose their mom and dad. That thought is also heartbreaking. They do love them so much. I also know they, both the parents and the boys are going through much more heartbreak and turmoil.
Dangit where is that crystal ball when you need it?
I am still looking in our local paper for any news on the court cases. Nothing yet. So we Will see
I am still in limbo. I thought today about enquiring about two sibling groups but with the future uncertain I do not want to get my hopes up to be turned down because of our full house and not knowing how long it Will be full.

New one

Frankie told me today he hopes he stays here. He says he likes it here and he likes his school and his frends and...... 'the family'. Wow that is different. Not even sure how to take that one either. Hey it is all new to me ;)
Dang it all to heck I really am growing attached to these boys!

My mixed bag

Ok first to get it out there. I am late. Yeah "late" Enough to make me wonder. My body is way out of whack so who knows. Now that I posted this though I should start. No stick to pee on here or I would! lol Because as soon as I say anything about it or take a test I start.... I did tell dh a couple of days ago he laughed and said "it would be perfect timing and God has a sense of humor" yeah no kidding... With our house full that would be hillarious.
OK Pierce's first speech therapy appointment was today. The speech therapist said even from the evaluation he has made a lot of progress. We began to talk about Frankie and she said the same about him. How much progress he is making etc. So I AM doing something right and the boys are thriving in my care :)
On the way out this morning I stepped on a shoe left on the stairs and took a tumble down half of our stairs. Lovely if the lateness is actually something I will be worried. I know I sprained a finger and my pinky toe and I bruised my knee and hip. UGH I feel like a clutz! I also dropped everything I have touched today and spilled milk when I poured it (though I did not cry over it)
I deposited a check into my account last week and unlike me I did not wait for it to clear. I spent the money yeah well the deposit bounced! Setting in motion a chain of horrendous fincial blunders.
Good news. I got two weeks of reembursement for the two older boys! If that check bounces the state is in huge trouble LOL

torn

I am torn. I love these boys I really do. We never intended to do straight foster care. Only foster to adopt. But we took these boys in. I knew when takng them in that adoption was probably not on the horizon. Part of me feels that it was destiny that they came here. I was meant to help them (yeah corny work with me here).
BUT a part of me...that same part of me that browses available childrens listings... want to adopt and not have the uncertainty of fostering. Maybe that is just it? The uncertainty that is killing me? It has been a few days short of a month. The only thing I hear about the case is how uncooperative the parents are and how spun up she gets the kids during the very short visits. I know nothing else. Will they be here for the summer? Will they start school here? Will I be celebrating all of their birthdays here? UGH!
OK I am off to sleep

braved it...

I packed a picnic basket wth a dinner (sandwiches etc) As soon as all of the boys came home from school We got in the car and left to the beach. We had a dinner picnic down on the beach and the boys played threw rocks in the water ( A favorite of theirs). I figure dh is gone and has duty. What a better excuse to serve bologna sanwiches and juice for dinner ;)
I got my Disney store order today! Lots of PJ's in the washer :) The boys are all excited.

MySpace

For you foster or adoptive parents have you ever looked up bioparents up?
Not that I found anything really incriminating or anything but I guess I wanted to know more about where these boys were from. With all of the inconsitacies in their history or rather lack of the parents givng any well their pages didn't clear things up any either lol

Frankie :)

The boys has his moments. Having a child who has been that age with "issues" I see a lot of possible issues in him as well...ADHD, ODD mabe a touch of OCD. Things for him do not come easy and it appears that he was allowed to just 'not try'. Made it very easy for him to slip through the cracks.
I have been doing all I can here to teach him how to read and working on hs speech difficulties. My proud Mama huge gem of the day..... The second week he was here he could barely read the very first kindergarten reader. Tonight he read me 3 pages from the #14 reader! He did not give up or whine or any of that he tried and did amazing!
I told him I was so proud of him...gave him a high five and a hug and told him he was a smart cookie. He turned to me and said "I am a smart cookie! My other Mom never said that. She never made me read to her. We didn't do reading time. I am doing good!"
I tell you tmes like that melt your heart and makes all the uncertain times and times you feel you are being jerked around fade away.
OK now to tuck in the brood and make them all burritos (tuckng them in really tight ;) )

Costco and turtles

I know you can buy almost anything at Costco but a turtle is not one of them. But I will get to the turtle part later.
I went to Costco today. I swear I should own stock in Costco, but I digress. I had to pick up some dog food and all. The lady behind me in line made a comment about how well behaved my three boys were and asked are they your only children? When I said no she laughed and said "all boys?" I said yes.... she then said "I thought I kept Costco in business with my three boys. You are probably here more than I am". I laughed because I always joke about how I keep Costco in business and how they cheer when they see us coming :)
Now onto the turltes.... my youngest loves Lance the Turtle (from Veggie Tales) Hmmm maybe loves is a bit of an understatement.... he is obsesed with him. He has this one shirt with a cartoonish turtle that is similar to Lance the Turtle. He loves to wear that shirt in the 2 year old I demand to wear this shirt every day type of way. Well the dang shirt is falling apart and I cannot find one similar. It looks like this shirt will have to fall into the laundry abyss and never return. It will be a rough few days...

no records no dentist

BioMom....well she has her issues, obviously or her kds wouldn't be in care, but she has been less than forthcoming with the workers. She has turned over little to NONE of the information requested.
I go to take the boys to the dentist as they needed for their CHET evaluation. One problem I know next to nothing about their health history. Something that has not been provided as requested. So I could not fill out their health histories and with this dentist (one of the very few that take the state insurance) since I couldn't fill out their histories the dentist would not see them. How frustrating is that?
oh and Yes I am writing down and submitting the milage for the wasted trip to the dentist.
On another note the biomom loved her "Mother's" Day present. Maybe that can be the swift kick/incentive she needs to get her ducks in a row you know?

Funny

My little man caught sight of my book The Five Love Languages. He looked at me and said "ummm Mom I thought there was only one love language. French"

IEP

Well Pierce is ofcially enrolled in an IEP. The write up was wondefully done. I am mang a copy to give to the case worker and the CHET evaluator. CHET is child health and education tracking. Basically to asses where the kids are and what their special needs may be. With the IEP he is now enrolled with the school district. So he is set for kindergarten next year.
We also went down to the beach and the two youngest spent their time trowing rocks into the water. Pierce and I searched for baby crabs under rocks and tried to find the bad eagles. We found baaby crabs and he was so excited. He thought they were cool and he had a blast.
I want to get Lance into preschool too but the classes start in Sept. The registration requires a $50 NON-refundable depost. $50 is not a fortune but it can be a hit to the pocket book should the boys not be here. I hate the not knowing if you cannot tell from the tone of my recent posts ;)
Maybe I will "ask" in a round about way if I should plan on them being here this fall.

random thoughts

Well tomorrow is Pierce's IEP evaluation. This should be "fun" haha. Actually this school os really good so I have little to worry about. I guess I am nervous for him?
On another note....keep in mind honestly I am doing my best to be supportive to bioparents... All of their belongings reek of igarette smoke. Now I swear it is all in my house. And who in their right mind (I may have typed the key there....) writes "Pimp daddy loves you" on the back of a picture to their kids? Maybe I have officially hit that milestone of I am old but pimp daddy???
my dh has almost completed our storage shed. You know I think he started it to escape a house with six boys.... but you know what? If that is all it takes to get projects done..hahaha

What

so what am I entitled to know about these boys and their case?
Like court dates? Case plans? Maybe I just want the gossip of the case? who knows lol
But I know nothing.
I feel so darn apprehensive even letting Frankie hand out his birthday invites! Not knowing how long they will be here

argh

no I am not celebrating talk like a pirate day early or anything. It has been a long frustrating and trying day. Two of the kids were fighting at all times. My two year old bit the other two year old and I had to call the SW because it left a mark on FS#3. I felt like tar, I still do. I am just up to the brim with stress. I a seriously calling it a night. The dishes will wait. The laundry can wait I am done.
The good news is the the FS's did NOT fight one bit durig the visit!! They got spun up and loud but no hitting! I had a talk with them right before they went in for visitation and talked with the SW and told her what I had said.

one more thing

I want to say how amazing our biosons are being. They love being big brothers and they ar e so loving. I was unsure how they would treat the foster kids and react to them. the worst I am getting is the whole not enough elbow room at the table thing haha but that is it.

Huge Gem

Frankie came up to me a few times today and threw his arms around me and gave me hugs :) He has been warming up more and more and getting used to not having to be in charge of everybody. I am very proud of him (and all my boys ;) )

Vent...

I was told last visit that DSHS would be arranging a transportation service for the kids. They are paying me per mile as it is so what is the difference. So I went the week waiting on the phone call about visitation. I talked to the SW a few times no mention of the visit. OK Mom amd Dad have been flaky.... I assumed that hey no visitation this week. So today I go to take my laptop in for repair. The shop they have doing the warranty service is about 70 miles away. So this morning I pack up the three non school aged kids and we hit the road. I am driving through Seattle and the worker calls saying "are you bringing them to visitation today?" "UMM no I heard nothing, I assumed there was no visitation So I am running my errands I have to today". End of story right? Yup she said so too. Tomorrow I will bring them in for a visit.
But I swear they need to reschedule visits because of the oldests preformance and how far he is behind in school.
OK Vent off

small step?

or maybe a huge leap?
Frankie came to offer me a hug I did NOT have to ask for one. This is the first time he has done this. The first few days I would offer he would refuse I would tuck him and and leave it at that. Today he came up to me and gave me a big hug. Ahhh good feelings.
Lance gets the giggles when DH makes him into a burrito at night (tucks him in). These giggles are so precious so contagious!! Then Pierce starts to giggle and says "Me next!!!"
It is funny they call us The Dad and The Mom. Reminds me of that ugly little dinosaur "not the momma" They ask about their other mom and dad now. Not too often but I reassure then that mom and dad do miss them and they are happy they are safe and being good (ok maybe I throw in the being good part haha)

I told

dh that I made that huge decision today. He looked at me and I could tell he knew it hurt me to say I wouldn't take the baby. But he looked me in the eyes and said "We need to keep familes together" I know he was and is on the same page as I am. Trust me it is a tough decision. But to have the option of taking the baby and having them remove a foster child or just leaving the boys together.... I will leave the boys together. Luckily dh feels the same.
Now if the social worker will call me eventually to let me know when the parental visitation will be. Maybe they will not have a visit this week?? I need to talk to the sw and get her to schedule visits around Frankies school. He is simply struggling too much to miss school. But that is another vent I suppose

Certifiable

In an effort to make things easier and keep these boys together. I TURNED DOWN placement of baby girl!
Part of me wants to cry....no sob. But no I turned down the placement to keep these siblings together. Why did I have to? No one could agree on it, it being the license exception. The placement coordinator would have fought for the exception had I wanted her to.
Part of me is OK with it all though. I really do love these boys and I think we can help them a lot.
I always said I was not up for straight fostering. That I couldn't handle it at all. I didn't WANT to have kids for the unknown amount of time. Yet here I am doing just that and passing up a newborn adoptive placement??? What is wrong with me?!?!?

having six children

justifies making a whole turkey for no special occasion on a Tuesday night!! haha I even have leftovers ;) So I can spread it out to make dinner tomorrow turkey braid it is ;)

Polly

wanna cracker!!
Seems that our little Lance is quite the parrot! hahaFrom being told he had minimal verbal skill coming into care he has made a lot of progress at his other foster home

Education

I warned you I would get to this today, so here it goes.
I did not go to college. Of the many excuses...let's just say life got in the way. I stress to my children how important schooling is. THAT is their one job. Do well in school. However that means I, as a mom, have to do my part too. If it is being supportive, reminding them to do their work, setting reading time every day, going to school events, encouraging activities that they are interested in and introducing new things.
The oldest foster son is the only one in school. I got some belongings of his which included his school backpack. It was full. Full of what? Incomplete school work. Some half started some never done. FULL I am not saying a day worth of work..... weeks of work...if not months.
At school he is at the end of the first grade year. He is preforming at a beginning kindergarten level. It makes me sad it does. IF he is here the beginning of the next school year, should I ask (or can I) that he be held back a year? Well we are starting an IEP for both him and his brother so I can hope that it is enough intervention that we can help them catch up.
It frustrates AND angers me that a parent can care so little that a little kid is so far behind, not due to intellectual inability but rather lack of parental involvement

May is

Foster parent/family appreciation month so go and hug a foster parent or something haha