Updates

Mav... well he has had more good days. Bu still the same power struggles and the same lying about little things to attempt to skew any situation.

Bear...well the little guy turns one on Monday!! We went this past weekend to take pictures (a family tradition). I had one framed to give to his parents. The supervisor took it today to the vist. All of my fears of them thinking it is corny were put to rest! They LOVED it :) They oohed and ahhed over it for awhile and just plain liked it :) He came home from the visit exhausted and VERY grumpy as usual so he went to be right after dinner...technically he fell asleep DURING dinner but you get the point. Well starting tomorrow I have a parade of visits from social workers. This is amidst the parade of doctors I see on a weekly basis... I feel QUITE popular

Another week

Mav will be moved within the next week or week and ahalf. During the meeting the adoptive parents (this is a screwy situation trust me) and I were echoing each other and agreeing about behaviors and such. We ALL suspect RAD. The parents were ALSO not told things that should have been disclosed.
We both got in our displeasure about placement and workers not giving enough information to help US as parents give these children the help and support they need. In my short time I have a list of complaints about the system THIS is a BIG one.
Anyway I insisted that this boy be moved prior to my husband deploying period. He is SO different without a male role model present. But since I cannot give them a date, It is a matter of "this is when he has to leave"

She is GOOD

Today, I got Liams birth certificate in the mail!!!

I forgot

It is about time but I called the wonderfully patient and kind lady who processes the birth certificates for adoptions in the state (she even gave me her direct number awhile back so I could call to check the status with her) she said..... "Oh hmm I remember him I have been looking for Liams paperwork since we last talked. Let me look for his papers in the incoming mail I just got. Nope not there, ok one last pile... Here it is!! I will move it to the top and process it after the ones I am currently processing" WOOOHOOO She even wondered what took the county so darn long to gether the papers. But for SSN purposes and military medical and passport etc she will'expidite her part as much as possible.
There are nice people out there. I am just happy the papers did show up I was getting worried a little

visit canceled

Yup another one. This time I am not upset about because I cancelled it :p Yeah we all have that crud that is going around. that congestion and cough. One of those things that we are told to let "run it's course" Since the youngers are getting better, I am not nervous about treating with a vaporizer and fluids and rest.
Me on the other hand.... Well the third tirmester...heck last MONTH of pregnancy plus coughing do NOT mix!! Bad enough I have to cross my legs when I sneeze but come on people this is outrageous!! Now that you all know a bit too much about my bladder I will leave you with those interesting visuals :)

I knew it

I had a meeting with Mav's social worker today. I expressed my concerns about his hbehavior and how at this point I cannot handle it. That fostering outside of my age range was a VERY bad idea (on my part) and I am better equipped for younger children.
Well one of my fears was false allegations with his RAD and the stories he told me about others.... Well apparently we are not feeding him. the social worker said I am NOT accusing you. I SEE how many snack foods alone you have out for the kids I have seen a dinner here, but I have to ask. Yeah We feed him duh if I didn't feed kids I could save a LOT of money!! lol
I am glad I am having him moved I CANNOT open myself up to another false allegation.

potentially

Yes it is highly possible since the tribe has shown interest they can take the baby and place him with a tribal family. There are siblings involved too. The biomom tried to get her 2 (or 3) year old placed with us too (I didn't know until after) but that little one went to a tribal family as well. They were fine with the baby being here when I comtacted them in June. But now that things are going in the direction of TPR they want to step in. Since the tribe is in another state I am not sure they CAN take anything over until the case goes to adoption. I suppose there is a slight chance things will go our way, but I am not going to count my chickens you know?
We are willing to take trips every other year to his tribal state where his siblings are. We already do a lot culturally (we did things before he got here but we are like that and find cultural events fun). We will see. I will enjoy him while we have him. He is a true joy everyone who sees him comments how his smile lights up a room.

Family is OUT!! Tribe is in :(

Well I contacted Bears Tribe when he first come to us. They wanted nothing to do with Mom nothing to do with the baby really but thatnked me for caring about the culture etc etc. NOW Thr tribe is coming in. It is almost NEVER good when that happens! So I will not count on keeping him :( This state has to investigate those placements. But with ICWA I am less than secondary when it comes to priority to keep him. Teach me to be 'just' white and a loving mom. UGH It makes me sad
Bio dad wants to relinquish! Get that! But because of the tribe.... I have little to no standing. UGH

OOOOOOKKKKKK

Today in the mail I got two license exemptions to increase my capacity. Great right? Well these ere exemptions from JUNE! Haha yeah they are more than expired considering one was for 2 days and one was for 10 days. Well at least I got the paperwork right??

Other news. Bear will be staying! Not sure how long. Time is ticking for his parents.....we are approaching month 8 here soon and the state has moved RU to secondary at this point. Family that was supposed to take bear? Well nothing from them yet who knows. It has been months for them too. DH and I had some heart to hearts about this and well we want him to stay. The social worker was moving him because she thought me telling her I was pregnant was my way of saying I wanted him gone. not the case. So I am glad I pursued it. She is glad I did too she would rather he stay here!

And there it is RAD

Not nearly as rad as thing were when I used that as a word as a kid. But RAD is a bad bad word now. Mav ahh he is a good kid. But honestly his life has been so screwed up I can see why he is in this state. I started seeing the little white lies. Then the manipulation. Then he started to emotionaly terrorize the little kids. There IS no other way to put it honestly. He is relentless. Now the stealing items has started. Nothing he can use either. But the 9 y/o's glasses... his books things from the 6 y/o. Yeah you see the pattern right? younger=target to him.
Last night he up and pinched the 9 y/o hard enough to leave a welt that night and then a bruise later :(
He has crossed a line I can not allow to continue. I will not ever allow my children to live in fear. So today the ground rules will AGAIN be put down. He needs to respect others and the property of others. He has two weeks to make an improvement. Yes I have to set a time limit. I am here 8 months pregnant and I cannot handle the daily stress of his games and the torture the kids must feel.
I have however sworn off older kids. I know I know 'but you cannot judge them all on two experiences' Once he is gone, I will ONLY take younger kids. period.
We were lied to , umm misinformed, about his status by being told he was legally free. There is no chance of adoption. He knows this, we now know this. BUT he, during his visits is holding it over his parents heads that we are his mom and dad and we will adopt him yadda yadda. Manipulation again
ugh

Did I mention??

That our 6 year olds biomom had another child in November. A little girl. I was hoping that she ould have her stuff together and keep it that way. Nope she is now in jail again (in another state). The baby girl is now with her grandmother. BUT I mentioned to her dad (who we also adopted and he is near us) that if things go the same way as the 6y/o that we would be open to taking in the little girl too. I also contacted the 6 y/o's adoption worker. I HOPE it doesn't come to this girl ending up in the system and it being dragged out for entirely too long.
People, I will never understand them and the way they think

Bear and Mav

Update on Bear move to relatives... Well they haven't done anything! No turning in background checks or fingerprint or anything! Seriously?!?!?!! If this were my relative I would jump through the hoops in an expidited manner you know? Not sit on the paperwork for a few months and not return phone calls. I am not very confident this will follow through. The bad thing is he will probably be moved anyway!!! I have the his worker know he is not a burden I have a support system and he will be cared for after I have the baby BUT we will see how things go I suppose. UGH
Mav, he got to see his adoptive mom and dad today!!!! I know I am excited. I was lied to or maybe ahem misinformed (insert rolling eyes here) Mav is NOT legally free for adoption. I thought so based on things I had learned but there is no doubt. DO NOT get me wrong I want this boy back where he feels comfortale with his parents. He has had enough disruption in his life. He had a good visit and he was happy to see them again. Maybe things will move quickly for his return home? Eh that is hoping a bit much for the system though

"ringing" in the New Year

Nah nothing like that. I am surly not a drinker ESPECIALLY not now. However my phone rings at 2:45 am. It was after hours placement asking if we could take in an 8y/o girl. I had to say no. We simply to not have the space to accomodate a girl (to county standards) at this point. Is it bad to say I was surprised to ONLY get the one phone call over the holidays?

Today was fun

Sort of a milestone for us. We took the 6y/o in to get his name changed at the doctors office. It was neat to change his name to his new legally given name :) And
our last name
It sounds silly true but it was an emotional moment for me. Now to get him enrolled into the military side of things

My 2007

Monday, December 31, 2007 (as posted on my other blog http://blog.gina8724.com/ )

My 2007
I do one of these corny posts EVERY year. Sort of the Cliff Notes version of my year.
This year has certainly had it's ups and downs. I started out last year with DH in VA where he was for a few months. We finally completed our home study and also got our foster care license. We were licensed in March and the same day, before the ink was dry we got placement of two brothers. Their other brother arrived about 2 weeks later.
In June we went from a house with six boys to a house with EIGHT boys when we took placement of a 5 y/o and a 3 month old. The 5 y/o was "possibly an adoptive placement". Two weeks later the three siblings left and went to go live with another family member (I still think of them often).
Come July I find out the surprise of all surprises... I am pregnant. After being told without medical intervention it wouldn't happen... well we showed them. DH was on the ship in the Pacific ocean when I emailed him to tell him we were expecting. We also learnedin July we were selected to be the official adoptive placement of the 5y/o
In August I took in a brother sister pair for a week while their foster mom was on vacation.
In September the 5y/o started Kindergarten. Out 9 y/o started in his gifted program and our 12 y/o started his last year of Junior High. At the end of the month we took placement of another 12 y/o boy.
In October. I withdrew our 13 y/o (he turned 13 in OCT ;) ) from school. He began homeschooling. Took him to yet another doctor to get a more specific and on target diagnosis on his condition. DH and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We were again separated by miles upon miles of ocean
In November we, for the saftey of the boys and myself asked for the 12y/o foster placement to be removed. That same day we were asked to take in an 11 y/o boy. We hesitated and two days after the 12 y/o was gone the 11 y/o was here. Bringing us right back up to 6 boys.
In Dec, our 5 y/o turned 6! And then on the 17th, it was made official... his adoption was finalized. We learned at this point too that the now 9 month old would more than likely be moving onto a family placement as well. We also learned we are expecting a GIRL. Wonders will never cease!
It has been a year of major ups and downs and I left out a lot BUT I included some of the more interesting points hehe.
What are my wishes for 2008? Well I want our baby girl to be born happy and healthy. I would love for the 11 y/o to get some sort of permanancy. If that means he goes back to his parents then GREAT but this kid needs SOMETHING stable in his life. He feels like he is stuck in limbo here. Who can blame him? The system has failed him more than once. I want my husband to be here for our daughters birth and though he will have to leave quickly I want him to be safe in his travels to a part of the world in turmoil. I can hope our baby will delay walking until Daddy gets home. I want my children to continue to improve in ALL that they do. They truly make me very proud. Our 13 y/o though. I hope he finds peace there is so much turmoil in his brain that some peace would be a welcome thing.
I want everyone to reach and be recognized for their full potential.If you read it all to this point I know I can count on you as at the very least an interested reader and some I know are great friends too. Thank you all for being there for me. It means a lot

Oh wow

If we were looking to cmpete with the duggars hehe or COULD in any possible way do it. There is a sibling group of SIX.
http://www.nwae.org/c6864-69.html
They are adorable :) Well the one boy does not look like taking a picture was what he wanted to do LMAO

And with that....

We are done, today it was made official, our six year old is our son. He now has a name he is not ashamed to have called out at a doctors office. I think that part made him happiest!
He did proudly proclaim that he gets to stay with us until he is a grown up :)

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day folks!! Our little man is officially OURS! Court in the morning and wrangling all of the boys for this... well I may need a nap after all is said and done!
I am giddy excited but also in a state of disbelief that "this is it".

Sad and peeved

First of all I put in the 'no I am not just fat I am pregnant' notice to Bears social worker(though I am ALL belly it is hard to miss). NOT that I wanted Bear to move. I really don't Though I will be honest the thought of a one year old and a newborn...scares the TAR out of me! But I let her know because when bitty baby G arrives, we will oficially, yet again, be over the state limit and be at 7 children. I have to let them know these things :( Anyway it turns out the family member who they have been talking about getting licensed to take Bear (for the last 6 months!) Has finally stepped forward now that it is looking like reunification may not be happening. So Bear may be moving onto a realative placement. It SUCKS on the one hand because he is part of our family and we have had him here since he was 3 months old. But if he has to go anywhere else, with family would be my choice.

I am a bit peeved. Yesterday afternoon Mav had a child health screener stop by andask some questions. Simple stuff for the standard reports. She wraps it up by asking if he was goint to/wanted to see his mom. No biggie right?? Yeah well first Mav asks "Which one? My bio or one of my two old adoptive moms?" The lady asks which do you want to see? Mav gets his hopes up you can hear it. He said "Yeah I would love to see my last adoptive mom and my bio mom...but the court order" That is right folks screener lady spoke out of turn and "offered" a visit that she had no right to with no real knowledge of the case(s). It is a wonder this on top of other people failing him the kid has NO faith in the foster care system!!This was after when she was here (She got here 15 minutes EARLY I had no warning time for Mav) he came home from school and the first words from her mouth are "we need to talk". The get starts to look ill, sits down while wringing his hands and says "You all are moving me again??!?!?!?!" She THEN introduces herself and with some conversational prompting by me Mav gets assured she is not here to take him nor does she have say to move him. UGH Like he needs this??

Travel

One of the good things about being a military family is that we have traveled a little. I admit not NEAR as much as we could have but we have seen a few interesteing places and got the chance to live in them for awhile. I think the one with the most to offer.... well you know that is hard. Each place has had SO much to offer. But I honestly thought we had a blast in San Diego. While not a place we wanted to settle down in it was a great place to be a tourist for a few years. There was so much in the area to see. Old Town, Coronado, Sea World, LegoLand,Harbor cruises, whale watching etc etc.
I think we did the majority of it. We had some fantastic weekends spent at the zoo and wild animal park. My kids still talk about the flamingo exhibit at the zoo and the gorillas, which of course are my favorite animals :) It is amazing the memories we took away from there. If we never lived in the area I would have to take my children there to experience all there is to see.
Trusted Tours and Attractions Has tickets to many (maybe all?) of the attractions we have been to.
If we had plans to go to Key West we would check the site out for tickets to the local attractions :)