Race, ethnicity and adoption

It was a question on the adoption paperwork that I struggled the most. I could easily answer the question about if I had a problem parenting a child who was gay or lesbian. No problem. I mean how would I know even if one obio kids were? Well The boys couldn't be lesbians but you get my drift. Would I love them less? No way. Would I think less of them? Nope
But when it came to the question do I feel I could effectively parent a child of a different racial background.... I struggled with it. I put it off until the end of everything. I come from a VERY racially mixed background. My stepfather was african american (we he still is...just not my stepfather anymore) So I have that influence of his family growing up. My oldest son is part Korean. That is just a touch on the racial diversity I have known.
So parenting a child of a different race should be no problem right? Well I am not sure I (we) could properly raise an African American boy to be a strong black man. A strong man SURE. But he also would need more than we could provide when it comes to making him culturally aware.
Am I wrong? Does it make me a bad person for thinking this?

First aid

I am debating....with myself so I am not sure if that can be considered a debate HMMM Anyway, I have a basic first aid kit. I need a new one I am considering getting a first responder kit. It is a little more but it truly has EVERYTHING in it.

So now I considering dropping about $100 on the darn kit.

This one Has Everything required and then some

This one Is the bare minimum and I will have to add a few things

HUGE price difference huh? So which do I go for? hmmmm

OK

Well there are lots of changes here in the state with the foster care system. Changes in everything from which case worker covers which area, which creates an issue that the woman DH had the interview with may not be our worker and that interview may have been for nothing! GRRR To changes in the outside agencies that are contracted with the state. Can I say how delightful it is to be entering this process at this point??
The outside agency that is supposed to assist people through the whole application and approval process their website is not even up the person who covers our area quit after 2 weeks. I am glad we were able to muddle our way through the paperwork and didn't need much help hahaha.

If we were approved today....

I would put in a request to be considered for this little boy he seems like the perfect fit for our family doesn't he? I am sure though by the time we are approved he will have found a home. GREAT for him but darnit. I know we are looking for a sibling group but then a child like this comes up and really gets your interest!

the papers

Are in the MAIL!! They should get them at DSHS probably tomorrow! Of course just in time for the holidays grrr. I hope my references get their paperwork early next month. BUT that may be hoping too much maybe??

Bureaucracy

once again may I express my distaste for bureaucracy, the amount of paperwork required is a pain in da butt. its not really that much but some of it needs "outside" resources Ie medical etc. and thats a pain. that is all just annoyed.

To do

I need to buy:
-A fireplace screen (if worker requires one since the gas is turned off to the fireplace)
-a LOCKABLE file cabinet
-another fire extinguisher
-waterproof mattress pads/covers
-bunk beds (at least one full/full bed)
-carseat (replace Grady's with a Britax and use his for foster child)

Not a bad list to be honest. Not too much to buy or do to get ready for the home study.

I need to... write my fire evacuation plan, get mine and DH's medical report, mail in my application packet on Monday and get the 4 of my WONDERFUL references to return their paperwork.

OK

A touch of funny irony here. I watch Sesame Street With my youngest every day. Would you like to know the topic of the last couple of shows? Gina adopted a son from Guatemala! hahaha Funny no. Gina Adopting perfect!

I am

finished with the pre-service classes!! Thank the Lord I am DONE. It was eye opening and informative but I am still glad it is over.
You want to know a disturbing statistic here in WA state? In 2005 there were over 79,000 children who were in the foster care system for various reasons. There were ONLY 5,300 licensed foster homes. That means on average each home would have more than 14 children per year, that is IF they all worked at capacity of 6 children at once.
It makes me want to have more room so we could foster some children as well.

Done

DH and DS#1 got their CPR/First Aid/BBP certifications today so one more CHECK on our list of things to do

one more thing

My friends told me about this sibling group of SEVEN in her state. She was inquiring about them. When dh called last night I said "Honey how about this group. Here are the ages.... 11,9,7,4,2,1 and zero." dh said "Whaaaaa???" ME: "yeah a sibling group of seven" DH: "will they let us adopt that many?" hahaha Not No way in hell but "will they let us adopt that many?"! hahaha

surprised

Family has actualy really surprised me through this whoel adoption process. We let our family know (our Moms). My Mother in law, whom I love DEARLY (as rare as that is)was very excited that we were adopting. My Mom who I expected to hem and haw about it was also very supportive!
I was talking on the phone with my MIL yesterday and our adoption process came up. She was saying how it breaks herheart when siblings are broken up. When I told her we were looking into a sibling group she actually cheered! She thinks it is great. And here one comment?? "Woohoo I am going to have a lot of grandkids!" She also told me that she had wanted to adopt when she and FIL were married and her two kids were young. She lost one child in between my SIL and DH. She had a VERY rough time having DH and we are lucky he is alive. The reason she didn't adopt? FIL. He didn't want to raise "kids that weren't his own". So she gave up on it.
She also told me a story about when dh was little. He knew of a family who came under hard times. He went home and asked his Mom if they could get a basket of food/Thanksgiving dinner for them. They ended up getting the whole thing together and dh took it over to the family. He was as giving as he is now back then :)

12 pages

Well I got our personal information packets in the mail today. 12 pages about me. I wouldn't think I could write so much about myself. I also hope that the issues with marriage my Mom and Dad had don't haunt us in our hope to adopt. My dad was on wife #4 when he died and my Mom went through divorce #3 two years ago.
The good news I guess our marriage currently is longer than any of the ones they had lol

Little did I know

What DSHS has on their website is not entirely true. We will have to go through orientation in person. I asked if it mattered that I was doing it out of order since our preservice is next Tuesday. Nope take it "whenever" lol.

I also got my fire esacpe ladder. It is one of the last few things I have to buy.
Now more flashlights and waterproof mattress pads.

ONE week

Yes folks one week until our pre-service training classes. WOOHOO

Oh on the front of my husband leaving next month. I called in and he has an appointment Nov 7th to go through his interview. She (the worker) is sending the personal information packet early so he has time to work on it prior to the interview. I will get the packet at the pre-service training but she wanted him to have it now.
So a big hurdle is averted.

So hmmm what do I do?

I have 3 beds for the youngests room. Yes 3! I have a bunkbed which can be used as two twins and I have a crib. Not knowing what our placement may be when we adopt I do not know what to put up!!!
Dh is going to HATE me. I have decided to other twin, the crib and the dresser all need to be moved to the garage. So I will have everything ready when it is needed be it a bed or crib.Then I can easily move it up into the room and tada we will be ready. I bought some hooks that we can put on the rafters and hang the bed pieces from there. I say I a lot but umm yes I mean my husband. If I can get that done BEFORE he leaves again it would be golden.

I was/am worried

Would you like to know about what? That we will be denied due to me being on anti-anxiety medications. I am also on a mild blood pressure medication (the two conditions are realated). I am generaly healthy. Healthy enough that my doctor Ok'd us trying to have a baby of our own. So I would assume or hope (???) that she would also OK me to be healthy enough to adopt right?

2 weeks!

Well it is two weeks until I start PRIDE classes. This areas pre-service training classes for foster care and foster-to-adopt. Time is FLYING

Shopping

This is so weird. I continualy check out NWAE for the availible children for adoption in our area. I kid you not I feel a little weird because I feel like I am shopping for a child!
I know it isn't like that I know it is all about finding a child that will fit into your family. But it is weird to browse through children looking for one or more you may want.

I am also aware that not all of the children available for adoption are listed on the site. There may be a child(ren) that fit us perfectly behind the scenes ;)

This makes sense...NOT

It’s important to register newborns and adoptees in DEERS to establish TRICARE eligibility for essential well-baby and pediatric health care. By registering your newborn or adopted child in DEERS, you may avoid potential claims problems.



When Does TRICARE Cover Newborns and Adoptees and Pre-Adoptees?

As long as another family member is enrolled in Prime, TRICARE Prime covers

Newborns for 60 days beginning from the date of birth;
Adopted children for 60 days beginning from the effective date of the actual adoption; and
Pre-adoptive children for 60 days beginning on the date of placement of the court or approved adoption agency.

So from placement to finalization is longer than 60 days right? OK got that. But The last two rules are just confusing and maybe contradicting. I am thinking that I will have to talk to a real person who can translate it into ENGLISH! lol