anxiety

The more I think about that sibling group the more it puts my stomach in knots thinking about saying no. Your mind starts reeling and thinking about the what if's amd maybe I can help with.... It is rough. My friend Baggage warned me about the turmoil of saying no. It is one thing to hear about it and another to have to make that decision though. I am grateful to have a frind like her to share the been there done that with me.

Mortgages

Well it has come time for use to refinance our home loan. We got into this place on an 80/20 morgage. While not optimal we did well for ourselves over the last two years building lots of equity. Enough that we have ample should we choose to get a Home Equity Loan. We definitely made a wise decision to buy when we did.

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Teach me

to complain about things going slow. We got our first call today about a placement. They are a sibling pair a boy and girl. I talked for over a half an hour with their worker. I learned a lot about them, their past and their current issues. I am waiting to hear back from my husband so I can talk with him about the notes I wrote. But the more I think about these two and the more I want to take them in, the more doubts I have. This is hard. How can you say No they aren't "good enough" or too much work. I think it is more of my lack to provide the terrific home they deserve. UGH decisions. Hard

So

I will be setting up a registry or a few in different stores for a foster care and adoption registry. It is a little hard not knowing the age or gender of the child(ren). So I guess I will set it up for the basics we may need (if that makes sense?). I guess I need something to do to fill the time in my waiting to hear about a placement. Which is taking FOREVER.... OK it has only been a week LOL but still I am impatient right now :p

relationships

Things have changed over the years. Changing in the ways that fathers relate to their sons. Making being close to their sons, showing affection to their sons acceptable. I see it in my husband and our sons. His father, more of a standoffish, show very little affection type of guy. Now with his sons dh says how much he loves them encourages them more than criticizes them etc. Hunger and Other Stories by Ian Randall Wilson I read a bit of the book and it definitely has the same feel of the change in generations the change in the way love is shown. It was a decent read.


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Ummm hmm odd question

What exactly is the ettiquite on adoption baby showers? I mean a baby shower when you are pregnant is totally appropriate. But what about when the adoption is finalized? Is it OK to have a shower of sorts? maybe a BBQ? Is a registry OK? Or would a just celebration of the event be appropriate?

Payday's

You know all of my talk about money and budgets... Well we all know that things sometimes happen and we all need a bit to help us make it over that hurdle until our next pay period. In those circumstances where you have no other options Payday Cash Advance Loans can be your only saving grace. No shame in it. We all do what we have to do to make thing work!

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Waiting

I swear this feels like the longest part. I have had things to DO the rest of the time. The classes, the first Aid and CPR certification, the home studies etc. Now that I am done. Here I sit. Nothing to do, no goal to work toward. So I am trying to keep my house up to par and earn some extra cash. You may have noticed I am starting to post PayPerPost postings here as well. Earning a little extra cash will help balance our budget. Especially if our house goes from 3 kids to instantly 6 kids!!

OK

I will admit it. Getting ready for the homestudy and adoption I have been a shopping fool. For sheer convienence I have done a TON online. The trampoline, bedding sets and carseats from Target. Add on the 10% discountand I saved a bit! I won't even go into my new sheet obsession that I satisfy at Overstock! Knowing where to get some coupon codes is a good thing. And in my case it helps to convince the hubby that even when I spend money I am saving!


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Risk

You know We are adopting from the foster care system. We had to get our foster care license in order to do so. Just the way it works. Part of our home study was what we were willing to accept in our home. We have said no to... FAS, RAD, fire starters, sexually aggressive, abusive to animals, children who will not be able to indepentendtly live as adults, severe physical disablilities or immobilisty as an older child (all of our rooms are upstairs). We also stated we are willingy to only take a minimal legal risk. What does that mean? It means that we would like to consider children that are already legally free for adoption or are on the way there/"fast tracked".
Sure we are limiting ourselves a bit but we are trying to go down the road that we think would be best for us. But again we are HOPING for a sibling group so that does again open thingsback up. Now that everything is done, I wonder how long it will be until we have a placement.
Will we do foster care? Probably someday down the road yes.

Hmmmm

Well I may have went a bit overboard with carseats. I upgraded DS#3 to the Britax Marathon in Cowmooflage of course ;) I got a second Marathon in Granite (design) So on hand right now I have 4 carseats!!! One infant and 3 convertible (5-65 pounds). I should be set. My luck though none of the children that get placed here will need a carseat! hahaha So wish little babies and toddlers my way so I can fill these carseats ;)

Today

The adoption licensor called again. This time to say she had only a couple of more lines to write before our home study was complete! Great news right? Well that and she was missing a reference. One that had been sent twice lol. Good thing our reference CC'd a copy to me as well so I had it to send along.

so as of today Our home study is just waiting on a supervisors signature and then... we are official!!

weird

You know when the adoption worker and foster care worker were here I talked about looking at the NWAE website at the available children. Also that I was looking forward to our approved homestudy so we could look at the group of children listed on another site before put on the main NWAE site for all to see. They actually said how those children have so many more problems than are listed on the sites (we knew this) and that we should rethink those from the site. Basically almost a "let us hook you up with a better kid" thing. I don't know it is hard to explain. Just weird. Like they have a special stash of "better" kids.
The adoption worker has called us several times as she is writing up our home study. She is trying to write us up to sound the best she can. Which is weird in itself. But I guess in a way it is like a resume...but instead of a job we are applying for children.
Also weird small world type stuff. When I took our pre-service training, it was taught by two women both of which told us stories about their lives and children. Turns out one of the ladies that taught the class...well her son is our painter!! Small world no?? so he and I have been talking about adoption. He and his wife are foster parents and have adopted from the system. So it has been very helpful :)
Anyway it is late and I had a rough day and I am off to bed :)

Check

OK I feel better. I got a whole slew of bottles (thank you Freecycle!). I also picked up a can of formula. Let me say OH MY GOSH!!!! I never knew how expensive that stuff was! $12 a can?!?!?!?! You have to be kidding me? It is funny to be standing in the baby aisle thinking how much money my breasts saved me. That brought a whole case of giggles on.
Anyway with the bottles and the formula I will be set if I happen to get a late night or last minute placement or something until I can get everything squared away.

How many in your party?

Five. No wait 8 Ummm OK headcount!
Well the foster care licensor and the adoption licensor left today. It looks as if our home study will be approved shortly! We are going to be licensed/approved for three children.
So our family may be growing by leaps and bounds shortly. Cross your fingers and hope for an amazingly perfect match soon ;)

Wednesday

Both the foster care licensor and the adoption licensor will be here to do another inspection. We are doing really well at getting the house in miiaculate condition. My oldest though is on my list. He has a list(SHORT) of things to do. He left to go to a bithday party yesterday which is fine but then he called asking if he could sleep over. I said yes on the condition he came home early today. Well at quarter after THREE pm he calls and says he is on his way home. He gets home and cannot understand why we are disappointed. Or understand why he has "all of these chores to do in one day" GRRRRR
DH is off to the hardware store. A few little things we need. However it will be at least 2 hours before he is home. He has the hearth gate to install and book shelves.
But he is working his arse off to get things done which with his current schedule and workload is amazing.
OK I am off of here.