Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I should know better
I should know I shouln't have too much faith in habitual addicts (wait is that redundant?). Bears Birth mom relapsed within a week of graduating treatment. I was so damn proud of her. I thought of the two that SHE would be the one to remain on the straight and narrow. I assumed the birth dad would be the one to drop out of Bears life. He was screaming about relinquishing the first family team meeting, he missed months of visitation in the beginning. Now look at him he is doing AWESOME. Clean for almost a year now. Doing right, visiting his son etc. I can tell though he is SCARED to get his son back. I pray he doesn't sabbotage his efforts to get his son back.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
One word...so many emotions
The word? Well that word would be termination. Our little Bear's mom has relapsed again. Bear has been with us almost 18 months (since he was 3 months old). This last slip up seems to be the straw that broke DSHS's back! So as torn as I am, sad because it will be one more child they have lost but happy because Bear will no longer be put through the mess any more and we of course want him to be part of our family forever. Ugh I hate caring about people sometimes. I feel for his mom, she has gone through a lot but she is not getting the help she needs.
You know too if we adopt Bear we will shut our home down. Having DSHS out of our lives will be nice too
You know too if we adopt Bear we will shut our home down. Having DSHS out of our lives will be nice too
Former foster kiddo
Out cutie little 5 year old is coming back next week. His dad needs to "take care of something" again so little man is coming back with us again. I am SO happy to be able to be a resource for him. He can at least be in a familiar place :)
Sunday, November 09, 2008
The girls
Well we have our homestudy in on the one girl out of CA. We have not heard anything yet but if we do well that means we are in the pool of potential parents for 'further consideration'.
the other girl was local, I got some further info on her and we were not scared away. Fetal Alcohol. Same stuff we deal with in Bear and the same effects with have with our AS. THAT we can deal with. It came out though she had some attachment difficulties. No way no how! After our experience with the two boys here RAD is NOT something I can deal with . I am in eternal awe of those who can deal with that though.
the other girl was local, I got some further info on her and we were not scared away. Fetal Alcohol. Same stuff we deal with in Bear and the same effects with have with our AS. THAT we can deal with. It came out though she had some attachment difficulties. No way no how! After our experience with the two boys here RAD is NOT something I can deal with . I am in eternal awe of those who can deal with that though.
birth Moms
Well I have a rant and a rave today I suppose. Our foster son Bear is now 20 months we have had him 17 out of those 20 months. His plan has been RU and remained RU all of this time. I have been friendly with the parents, no reason not to. Birth Mom had a relapse and it upset me. She got back into the swing of things and I was proud. Now in the span of what a few months? It has happened again. Why? I mean she was doing so well. I suppose I know why....addiction is a powerful thing. Who wants to bet it will be months more of letting the birth parents "work their plan" ? But birth dad is doing well enough and has not relapsed. Maybe Bear has some hope right?
Our adopted son. His birth mom is living back in the area. She has a young daughter and we have been taking baby steps to form a relationship. We are now emailing and she seems to be pretty damned level headed. So more baby steps and we will see how things go and hopefully she will be ok with being a part of our extended family. We have welcomed her father (Matt's biological grandfather) as a part of our lives even before the adoption and told him we would love it if he continued to be a part of our lives. He was the stable force in our guys life when things were in turmoil for him.
OK so there you go my birth mom experiences for the week haha.
Our adopted son. His birth mom is living back in the area. She has a young daughter and we have been taking baby steps to form a relationship. We are now emailing and she seems to be pretty damned level headed. So more baby steps and we will see how things go and hopefully she will be ok with being a part of our extended family. We have welcomed her father (Matt's biological grandfather) as a part of our lives even before the adoption and told him we would love it if he continued to be a part of our lives. He was the stable force in our guys life when things were in turmoil for him.
OK so there you go my birth mom experiences for the week haha.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Time keeps marching
Well Dh is finally home. He has met our beautiful daughter. I will say she has him wrapped around her finger.
Our Bear....well parents are soon to head back to court and request overnight visits. Part of me is sad. Part of me is happy. I am hoping he goes back to his parents. Mom had her hmmm I guess I could say her lapse in judgement BUT she is back on the straight and narrow. They are accepting the fact that Bear has some sensory integration issues (that just came to light TODAY). they are good people who have not yet been able to get it together enough to parent one of their children. I think with our support as well as thier effort they may be able to do it this time!! Yeah yeah I am an optomist! So shoot me :p
We have out our homestudy in the ring to be considered for two little girls. Two separate children not a sibling group. I am hoping we hear back soon. Both seem like wonderful children though with their own issues of course. So now we wait. We would really like to adopt again.
Our Bear....well parents are soon to head back to court and request overnight visits. Part of me is sad. Part of me is happy. I am hoping he goes back to his parents. Mom had her hmmm I guess I could say her lapse in judgement BUT she is back on the straight and narrow. They are accepting the fact that Bear has some sensory integration issues (that just came to light TODAY). they are good people who have not yet been able to get it together enough to parent one of their children. I think with our support as well as thier effort they may be able to do it this time!! Yeah yeah I am an optomist! So shoot me :p
We have out our homestudy in the ring to be considered for two little girls. Two separate children not a sibling group. I am hoping we hear back soon. Both seem like wonderful children though with their own issues of course. So now we wait. We would really like to adopt again.
Friday, September 26, 2008
update
Well the child is on the way... oh yeah OOPS it is a girl HAHA They had the info wrong apparently
*yawn*
Well I said yes to a late night weekend placement. All I know is I will have a 3 year old boy for the weekend. I tell you I get all the boys haha. I have never been in a position to say yes before. I liked being able to say sure this time. It is only for the weekend....but then again I have heard "just a few days" before. We are in month 16 with one of those few dayers haha
OK I am tired though and this kiddo isn't here yet. They need to hurry up or something :) I have soccer games tomorrow. And I will be much better with a few hours of sleep under my belt
OK I am tired though and this kiddo isn't here yet. They need to hurry up or something :) I have soccer games tomorrow. And I will be much better with a few hours of sleep under my belt
Sunday, September 14, 2008
sometimes I forget
Sometimes I forget that our 6 year old came from a 'not so wonderful past'. Yet today he reminded me twice.
We were talking about a friend of his. The topic of Dads came up and he asked about his birthdad (for the first time in a long time if ever). He said he hoped to see him sometime soon. I explained to him that his birthdad was still making choices that were not safe. He asked what his birthdad was doing. Since he knows (in a general sense) about drugs and excessive drinking. I explained he was still fighting his problems with those. And he said "how long has he faught them? Since he was a kid?" I said yes pretty much. He said he has to get tougher so he can win finally LOL that was great logic for him. After that he didn't ask more though.
Then I made a late dinner tonight. He came to me and said "there is a weird thing going on in my tummy!" I asked what he said "it is making noises! I think I am hungry. I have never had that feeling here before" It made me sad to think about the fact he has EVER felt hungy anywhere before.
We were talking about a friend of his. The topic of Dads came up and he asked about his birthdad (for the first time in a long time if ever). He said he hoped to see him sometime soon. I explained to him that his birthdad was still making choices that were not safe. He asked what his birthdad was doing. Since he knows (in a general sense) about drugs and excessive drinking. I explained he was still fighting his problems with those. And he said "how long has he faught them? Since he was a kid?" I said yes pretty much. He said he has to get tougher so he can win finally LOL that was great logic for him. After that he didn't ask more though.
Then I made a late dinner tonight. He came to me and said "there is a weird thing going on in my tummy!" I asked what he said "it is making noises! I think I am hungry. I have never had that feeling here before" It made me sad to think about the fact he has EVER felt hungy anywhere before.
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