Rambling through adoption

I should know better

2009-01-21T18:50:00.001-08:00

I should know I shouln't have too much faith in habitual addicts (wait is that redundant?). Bears Birth mom relapsed within a week of graduating treatment. I was so damn proud of her. I thought of the two that SHE would be the one to remain on the straight and narrow. I assumed the birth dad would be the one to drop out of Bears life. He was screaming about relinquishing the first family team meeting, he missed months of visitation in the beginning. Now look at him he is doing AWESOME. Clean for almost a year now. Doing right, visiting his son etc. I can tell though he is SCARED to get his son back. I pray he doesn't sabbotage his efforts to get his son back.

Ways to give to service members and their families this year

2008-12-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

Some ways to give

Commissary gift certificates

Heroes At Home Sears registry

One word...so many emotions

2008-11-13T12:51:00.000-08:00

The word? Well that word would be termination. Our little Bear's mom has relapsed again. Bear has been with us almost 18 months (since he was 3 months old). This last slip up seems to be the straw that broke DSHS's back! So as torn as I am, sad because it will be one more child they have lost but happy because Bear will no longer be put through the mess any more and we of course want him to be part of our family forever. Ugh I hate caring about people sometimes. I feel for his mom, she has gone through a lot but she is not getting the help she needs.
You know too if we adopt Bear we will shut our home down. Having DSHS out of our lives will be nice too

Former foster kiddo

2008-11-13T12:50:00.001-08:00

Out cutie little 5 year old is coming back next week. His dad needs to "take care of something" again so little man is coming back with us again. I am SO happy to be able to be a resource for him. He can at least be in a familiar place :)

The girls

2008-11-09T16:41:00.000-08:00

Well we have our homestudy in on the one girl out of CA. We have not heard anything yet but if we do well that means we are in the pool of potential parents for 'further consideration'.
the other girl was local, I got some further info on her and we were not scared away. Fetal Alcohol. Same stuff we deal with in Bear and the same effects with have with our AS. THAT we can deal with. It came out though she had some attachment difficulties. No way no how! After our experience with the two boys here RAD is NOT something I can deal with . I am in eternal awe of those who can deal with that though.

birth Moms

2008-11-09T16:30:00.000-08:00

Well I have a rant and a rave today I suppose. Our foster son Bear is now 20 months we have had him 17 out of those 20 months. His plan has been RU and remained RU all of this time. I have been friendly with the parents, no reason not to. Birth Mom had a relapse and it upset me. She got back into the swing of things and I was proud. Now in the span of what a few months? It has happened again. Why? I mean she was doing so well. I suppose I know why....addiction is a powerful thing. Who wants to bet it will be months more of letting the birth parents "work their plan" ? But birth dad is doing well enough and has not relapsed. Maybe Bear has some hope right?

Our adopted son. His birth mom is living back in the area. She has a young daughter and we have been taking baby steps to form a relationship. We are now emailing and she seems to be pretty damned level headed. So more baby steps and we will see how things go and hopefully she will be ok with being a part of our extended family. We have welcomed her father (Matt's biological grandfather) as a part of our lives even before the adoption and told him we would love it if he continued to be a part of our lives. He was the stable force in our guys life when things were in turmoil for him.

OK so there you go my birth mom experiences for the week haha.

Time keeps marching

2008-10-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well Dh is finally home. He has met our beautiful daughter. I will say she has him wrapped around her finger.
Our Bear....well parents are soon to head back to court and request overnight visits. Part of me is sad. Part of me is happy. I am hoping he goes back to his parents. Mom had her hmmm I guess I could say her lapse in judgement BUT she is back on the straight and narrow. They are accepting the fact that Bear has some sensory integration issues (that just came to light TODAY). they are good people who have not yet been able to get it together enough to parent one of their children. I think with our support as well as thier effort they may be able to do it this time!! Yeah yeah I am an optomist! So shoot me :p

We have out our homestudy in the ring to be considered for two little girls. Two separate children not a sibling group. I am hoping we hear back soon. Both seem like wonderful children though with their own issues of course. So now we wait. We would really like to adopt again.

update

2008-09-26T22:46:00.000-07:00

Well the child is on the way... oh yeah OOPS it is a girl HAHA They had the info wrong apparently

yawn

2008-09-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

Well I said yes to a late night weekend placement. All I know is I will have a 3 year old boy for the weekend. I tell you I get all the boys haha. I have never been in a position to say yes before. I liked being able to say sure this time. It is only for the weekend....but then again I have heard "just a few days" before. We are in month 16 with one of those few dayers haha
OK I am tired though and this kiddo isn't here yet. They need to hurry up or something :) I have soccer games tomorrow. And I will be much better with a few hours of sleep under my belt

sometimes I forget

2008-09-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget that our 6 year old came from a 'not so wonderful past'. Yet today he reminded me twice.
We were talking about a friend of his. The topic of Dads came up and he asked about his birthdad (for the first time in a long time if ever). He said he hoped to see him sometime soon. I explained to him that his birthdad was still making choices that were not safe. He asked what his birthdad was doing. Since he knows (in a general sense) about drugs and excessive drinking. I explained he was still fighting his problems with those. And he said "how long has he faught them? Since he was a kid?" I said yes pretty much. He said he has to get tougher so he can win finally LOL that was great logic for him. After that he didn't ask more though.

Then I made a late dinner tonight. He came to me and said "there is a weird thing going on in my tummy!" I asked what he said "it is making noises! I think I am hungry. I have never had that feeling here before" It made me sad to think about the fact he has EVER felt hungy anywhere before.

Can you at least be happy?

2008-09-10T15:43:00.000-07:00

Bear's therapies are going well. Up to three in home appointments a week. This past week has been filled with some significant gains. I try to tell the parents and I get a shrug. They say he isn't old enough to be evaluated and that he is just slow at developing. I understand developing at a different rate. But there are some HUGE red flags. I want them to share in my joy about their son but I don't see it happening.

Successes and doubts

2008-09-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

In a year and a half of fostering I had my FIRST child return home to a parent. The 5 y/o left today to return home. I am so happy for him and his dad. I will miss him a lot though.
Bear... oh sweet Bear. Yes he is still here. Bio mom had a BIG bump in the road. it has created more feelings of distaste for 'the system' for me. Bear is now finally getting the help I have insisted he needs. After his assesment, therapies are in place. three in home appointments A WEEK. Oh man. But I am hopeful it helps. He is already making strides. The parents seem disinterested in the therapies or his milestones. Insisting it is too early for there to be any actual delays. Having raised a few children through this age/stage there is something wrong I can tell you he needs the extra assistance. A concern has been expressed about his RU since he is so bonded and used to many siblings. But we all know that will not get us too far. Recomendations only go so far unfortunately. I just wish that after 15+ months we knew where things were going *insert big sigh here*

he is

2008-07-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

a good enough kiddo. I will call him Cam. Well Cam is a cute kid. He is not overly affectionate and not too standoffish either. I got him to smile and laugh a few times. The poor guy really misses his dad. Dad made promises to the kiddo that he would be back hom by Friday. Seeing as how tomorrow is Friday and the shelter hearing isn't until Monday.....I forsee a meltdown. He has a visit with biomom toomorrow. The visit supervisor called me and she was genuinely concerned about how Cam was holding up and she let me know she would be here to pick him up tomorrow. I heard about how poor Cam used to be picked on and everything. Poor kiddo.
I am wondering if he will be bounced back next week or not. This was to be quite temporary but the more I hear... however the system does not cease to amaze me some times.

on another note I got the bios of a pair of girls who needed an adoptive placement. Wow so not a match for our family. It is hard though... to say no and never be sure what happens with them,

What is wrong with the system

2008-07-02T16:07:00.000-07:00

A little boy is on his way here. He is 5 a little delayed but no problems (Time will tell if it is true ;) ) He has been in placement 4 times in the last year each time returned to his parents each time back in care. This time no different. When is enough enough?

I love that kid

2008-05-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

We were in this horendous line the other day. I was chatting up the ladies in front of and behind me in line. Strange coinkydink our husbands are all in the same strike group and deployed togetherWeird how that happened. Anyway My 3 y/o made fast friends with the boy behind us (he was 4) in line. It was so cute they found some ants and the both got on the ground and looked at the ants chatting away like they had always known each other.
The other ladies commented on how the world we be such a better place if adults acted the way kids do when it comes to friendships.
We finally got out of there and DS and I were talking later and I asked if he had fun with his friend. He looked at me and said he had lots of fun with his BROTHER hahaha. Foster care has made it to where every boy is his brother now :) I think it is cute

For you mothers

2008-05-11T19:02:00.001-07:00

No matter how you came about being a mother. If they are your birth, adopted, foster or fur babies...or heck even a signifigant other who acts like a child.... haha HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

to clarify

2008-05-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

especially for those who like to be rude to further their agenda and website. NO I am not mentally unstable, a bit off as we all are, but not unstable. No I have not accidently breastfed a foster child nor would I ever. With a newborn and the late night feedings the half asleep mind does play tricks on you. That was the point of the post.

you know you are a foster parent when..

2008-05-07T22:58:00.000-07:00

In the middle of the night in a half conscious state when you go to breastfeed your own daughter and you get a momentary panic thought of "OMG why am I breastfeeding my foster child" It is that sleep confusion...a double confusion hahah sleepy thinking I was sleepy trying to breastfeed a foster oy all too confusing

it only took a year (almost)

2008-05-06T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well Bear is just one month shy of being here a year. Actually him and Liam both (they arrived w/in a couple of days of each other). Finally after months of half-assing through their case plan. Mom and dad of Bear seem to be pulling it together. Right before the state was set to file the TPR papers @ 12 months. BUT they ARE doing their services and he may go back with them. It will not be for another 6 months probably. And this is only IF they stay on track in getting their services completed. BUT the fact is that while I am happy for their family I am sad for ours.
A lot can happen in six months though. I am actually rooting for this family. I have been through most of it. With the occasional DO SOMETHING frustration. Getting 'down to' five chilren will be nice but as weird as it sounds it will be rather empty here.

Less than a year

2008-04-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

It has been less than a year since our adoptive placement came to live with us. He knew little. Not his alphabet, counting to 10 was not something he could do, he couldn't spell his name etc. Here we are 10 months later......He can count until we tell him to stop he will count FOREVER if we let him haha. He knows his alphabet, he can spell and write his whole name and he is beginning to READ!!! You have no idea how proud of him I am!
He has started to expand his horizons when it comes to eating different foods. He eats a variety of fruits and veggies now. he knows that dinner doesn't come from the freezer and veggies don't come from only a can.
It is amazing the strides that a child can make in such a short time.

She's back

2008-04-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

Well my sons birthmom is back in town. She was back East in jail. Got out, moved closer, which was still a bit close. Then I learned she moved again back into our area. A bit too close in some respects. I haven't had to deal with this through the whole process the bio dad was in jail popped into the picture for a total of one phone call to the adoption worker and dropped into the abyss again. The bio mom, well not much from her except the one letter and heck it was nice enough. What happens when she asks to see him? Or 'happens' to go by her fathers house (we allow him and our son to have visits). This kid is FINALLY gatting over, more finally coping with the trauma of losing his last foster adopt family.
I will sit back and wait to see what she does for now. I gauge my next step. She still has her daughter with her which is a positive. I may get to the point where I will meet her for coffee or soething one day. I have a positive relationship with my foster sons mother. I hope I can eventually have the same with her right? Eventually

RSV headache

2008-04-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

apparently as soon as I dropped him off Bear started to get sick. Apparently he got fairly sick fairly quick and ultimately ended up with the diagnosis of RSV. So he was out of our home an extra week. The boy STILL sounds like death warmed over. ALL of the boys in the house got some upper respiratory thing last week. So I think it is simply 'going around'.
I am praying our newborn escapes getting it. I can hope the miracle of breastfeeding will shine through and she will get all the immunities she needs.

See you all soon

2008-03-13T06:01:00.000-07:00

As I have been boring everyone with on Gina's Ramblings, our baby will be arriving very soon. As in tomorrow.
I got respite care for Bear set up early (I love how much she works with me on this!) So Ihave to pack his bag today. I packed DH's bag for his deployment last night. Yeah do the mental math there... even early he will miss the birth of his daughter. LeSigh

She's got Leeeeeegggsssss and

2008-03-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

she knows how to sell them. You all have heard me chat about my friend Baggage and her adventures, misadventures? haha in foster care and adoption. Well she is running a contest on her site to promote BugLegs
You can check out my post about it on Gina's Ramblings

Oh Mav

2008-03-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

The placement they found for him was a temporary placement on a trial basis. It didn't last the weekend before they called to have him removed. Dangit!!! It is so upsetting for me.
Mav's football coach, we know he was a co-worker of DH's. We got him and Mav back together, he is a great mentor. He may be staying there for awhile with his coach. But this whole thing has me ticked off. I hate that it feels like I failed him. And now it seems like it is the beginning for the 'follow the bouncing ball' bouncing of foster placements!
I am angry at the system, angry at family situations and family actions all around. How much of this could have been avoided LONG LONG ago had the first parent done things closer to right you know? The system fails these kids. Heck Mavs coach could have been involved from the DAY Mav was removed but no one returned his call!! We were the third placement he blew through his fourth placement in a couple of days.
I am glad we know these people and glad that we offered to stay in touch. We talked to the new possible placements as friends and were brutally honest. We encouraged them to read up on RAD. they know us our parenting styles and our children. So I hope they take it all seriously.

And we have

2008-03-07T13:32:00.000-08:00

a phone call. they asked for US to drop him off at the office. I am thrilled. BUT he has a placement and will be there tonight.
It is a load off of my mind

Does anyone

2008-03-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

do their job anymore?!!?!
I gave workers notice a month ago to have Mav moved. We were all clear on that understanding. The child has been expelled from school. He is home he is anxious, he KNOWS he is set to move and is OK with it. Sad because the boys here are his friends but OK with itbecause I did tell him that he s welcome to keep in touch at all times. But the dang workers on this one dropped the ball. There is no home set up. They asked yesterday for more time NO. I am due to have a husband deploy, company arrive and have a baby all within the next couple of weeks! I need the brief time to get stuff ready.
There was supposed to be a visit yesterday. No one showed up to pick him up. No phone call NOTHING. They all knew they were going to cancel they just didn't bother telling him nor I. This is all great for a kid who thinks all social workers are idiots as it is... They are not trying to disprove his theor are they?
So anyway. He is here, stuff packed and wondering if they "forgot about him again". If I could get a phone call returned I would be golden. Maybe I should show up to the office with him in tow?
UGH

I have been told

2008-03-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

to just not care at this point. But I do. Part of my save the world stuff. Mav, who will be moved in 2 days was EXPELLED from school today. Not suspended expelled! I won't go into the details but it is very RADish and a reason we wanted him moved. I actually want to take partial blame because of us moving him etc. UGH I wish I could turn off the care.

Bear

2008-03-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

I called Bears biomom today we chatted about his upcoming year check-up. I told her when and where it is so she can come if she wanted to. We talked a bit and she asked if I was expecting a baby soon. I told her yes the 18th. She was so happy and even happier when I told her Bear was staying here ;)
We chatted a bit about him and his birthday (tomorrow) and what I got him. I was able to find Yupik childrens books for him. She was in shock that A: they made them and B: I took the time to find them :) She said how happy she is that I am doing those things for him.....
She later asked if I was willing to be a permanant resource for him! She says she is still trying to get him back but if she doesn't she wants to know if we would keep him. Yeah chew on that one. Knocked me on my butt :)
She thanked me again for the picture and all. They love it.

Updates

2008-02-27T21:50:00.001-08:00

Mav... well he has had more good days. Bu still the same power struggles and the same lying about little things to attempt to skew any situation.

Bear...well the little guy turns one on Monday!! We went this past weekend to take pictures (a family tradition). I had one framed to give to his parents. The supervisor took it today to the vist. All of my fears of them thinking it is corny were put to rest! They LOVED it :) They oohed and ahhed over it for awhile and just plain liked it :) He came home from the visit exhausted and VERY grumpy as usual so he went to be right after dinner...technically he fell asleep DURING dinner but you get the point. Well starting tomorrow I have a parade of visits from social workers. This is amidst the parade of doctors I see on a weekly basis... I feel QUITE popular

Another week

2008-02-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

Mav will be moved within the next week or week and ahalf. During the meeting the adoptive parents (this is a screwy situation trust me) and I were echoing each other and agreeing about behaviors and such. We ALL suspect RAD. The parents were ALSO not told things that should have been disclosed.
We both got in our displeasure about placement and workers not giving enough information to help US as parents give these children the help and support they need. In my short time I have a list of complaints about the system THIS is a BIG one.
Anyway I insisted that this boy be moved prior to my husband deploying period. He is SO different without a male role model present. But since I cannot give them a date, It is a matter of "this is when he has to leave"

She is GOOD

2008-02-13T14:21:00.000-08:00

Today, I got Liams birth certificate in the mail!!!

I forgot

2008-02-11T12:28:00.000-08:00

It is about time but I called the wonderfully patient and kind lady who processes the birth certificates for adoptions in the state (she even gave me her direct number awhile back so I could call to check the status with her) she said..... "Oh hmm I remember him I have been looking for Liams paperwork since we last talked. Let me look for his papers in the incoming mail I just got. Nope not there, ok one last pile... Here it is!! I will move it to the top and process it after the ones I am currently processing" WOOOHOOO She even wondered what took the county so darn long to gether the papers. But for SSN purposes and military medical and passport etc she will'expidite her part as much as possible.
There are nice people out there. I am just happy the papers did show up I was getting worried a little

visit canceled

2008-02-11T12:20:00.000-08:00

Yup another one. This time I am not upset about because I cancelled it :p Yeah we all have that crud that is going around. that congestion and cough. One of those things that we are told to let "run it's course" Since the youngers are getting better, I am not nervous about treating with a vaporizer and fluids and rest.
Me on the other hand.... Well the third tirmester...heck last MONTH of pregnancy plus coughing do NOT mix!! Bad enough I have to cross my legs when I sneeze but come on people this is outrageous!! Now that you all know a bit too much about my bladder I will leave you with those interesting visuals :)

I knew it

2008-02-04T12:01:00.000-08:00

I had a meeting with Mav's social worker today. I expressed my concerns about his hbehavior and how at this point I cannot handle it. That fostering outside of my age range was a VERY bad idea (on my part) and I am better equipped for younger children.
Well one of my fears was false allegations with his RAD and the stories he told me about others.... Well apparently we are not feeding him. the social worker said I am NOT accusing you. I SEE how many snack foods alone you have out for the kids I have seen a dinner here, but I have to ask. Yeah We feed him duh if I didn't feed kids I could save a LOT of money!! lol
I am glad I am having him moved I CANNOT open myself up to another false allegation.

potentially

2008-02-04T10:59:00.001-08:00

Yes it is highly possible since the tribe has shown interest they can take the baby and place him with a tribal family. There are siblings involved too. The biomom tried to get her 2 (or 3) year old placed with us too (I didn't know until after) but that little one went to a tribal family as well. They were fine with the baby being here when I comtacted them in June. But now that things are going in the direction of TPR they want to step in. Since the tribe is in another state I am not sure they CAN take anything over until the case goes to adoption. I suppose there is a slight chance things will go our way, but I am not going to count my chickens you know?
We are willing to take trips every other year to his tribal state where his siblings are. We already do a lot culturally (we did things before he got here but we are like that and find cultural events fun). We will see. I will enjoy him while we have him. He is a true joy everyone who sees him comments how his smile lights up a room.

Family is OUT!! Tribe is in :(

2008-01-30T10:01:00.000-08:00

Well I contacted Bears Tribe when he first come to us. They wanted nothing to do with Mom nothing to do with the baby really but thatnked me for caring about the culture etc etc. NOW Thr tribe is coming in. It is almost NEVER good when that happens! So I will not count on keeping him :( This state has to investigate those placements. But with ICWA I am less than secondary when it comes to priority to keep him. Teach me to be 'just' white and a loving mom. UGH It makes me sad
Bio dad wants to relinquish! Get that! But because of the tribe.... I have little to no standing. UGH

OOOOOOKKKKKK

2008-01-25T17:04:00.000-08:00

Today in the mail I got two license exemptions to increase my capacity. Great right? Well these ere exemptions from JUNE! Haha yeah they are more than expired considering one was for 2 days and one was for 10 days. Well at least I got the paperwork right??

Other news. Bear will be staying! Not sure how long. Time is ticking for his parents.....we are approaching month 8 here soon and the state has moved RU to secondary at this point. Family that was supposed to take bear? Well nothing from them yet who knows. It has been months for them too. DH and I had some heart to hearts about this and well we want him to stay. The social worker was moving him because she thought me telling her I was pregnant was my way of saying I wanted him gone. not the case. So I am glad I pursued it. She is glad I did too she would rather he stay here!

And there it is RAD

2008-01-18T09:31:00.000-08:00

Not nearly as rad as thing were when I used that as a word as a kid. But RAD is a bad bad word now. Mav ahh he is a good kid. But honestly his life has been so screwed up I can see why he is in this state. I started seeing the little white lies. Then the manipulation. Then he started to emotionaly terrorize the little kids. There IS no other way to put it honestly. He is relentless. Now the stealing items has started. Nothing he can use either. But the 9 y/o's glasses... his books things from the 6 y/o. Yeah you see the pattern right? younger=target to him.
Last night he up and pinched the 9 y/o hard enough to leave a welt that night and then a bruise later :(
He has crossed a line I can not allow to continue. I will not ever allow my children to live in fear. So today the ground rules will AGAIN be put down. He needs to respect others and the property of others. He has two weeks to make an improvement. Yes I have to set a time limit. I am here 8 months pregnant and I cannot handle the daily stress of his games and the torture the kids must feel.
I have however sworn off older kids. I know I know 'but you cannot judge them all on two experiences' Once he is gone, I will ONLY take younger kids. period.
We were lied to , umm misinformed, about his status by being told he was legally free. There is no chance of adoption. He knows this, we now know this. BUT he, during his visits is holding it over his parents heads that we are his mom and dad and we will adopt him yadda yadda. Manipulation again
ugh

Did I mention??

2008-01-11T19:14:00.000-08:00

That our 6 year olds biomom had another child in November. A little girl. I was hoping that she ould have her stuff together and keep it that way. Nope she is now in jail again (in another state). The baby girl is now with her grandmother. BUT I mentioned to her dad (who we also adopted and he is near us) that if things go the same way as the 6y/o that we would be open to taking in the little girl too. I also contacted the 6 y/o's adoption worker. I HOPE it doesn't come to this girl ending up in the system and it being dragged out for entirely too long.
People, I will never understand them and the way they think

Bear and Mav

2008-01-10T17:45:00.000-08:00

Update on Bear move to relatives... Well they haven't done anything! No turning in background checks or fingerprint or anything! Seriously?!?!?!! If this were my relative I would jump through the hoops in an expidited manner you know? Not sit on the paperwork for a few months and not return phone calls. I am not very confident this will follow through. The bad thing is he will probably be moved anyway!!! I have the his worker know he is not a burden I have a support system and he will be cared for after I have the baby BUT we will see how things go I suppose. UGH
Mav, he got to see his adoptive mom and dad today!!!! I know I am excited. I was lied to or maybe ahem misinformed (insert rolling eyes here) Mav is NOT legally free for adoption. I thought so based on things I had learned but there is no doubt. DO NOT get me wrong I want this boy back where he feels comfortale with his parents. He has had enough disruption in his life. He had a good visit and he was happy to see them again. Maybe things will move quickly for his return home? Eh that is hoping a bit much for the system though

"ringing" in the New Year

2008-01-01T19:07:00.001-08:00

Nah nothing like that. I am surly not a drinker ESPECIALLY not now. However my phone rings at 2:45 am. It was after hours placement asking if we could take in an 8y/o girl. I had to say no. We simply to not have the space to accomodate a girl (to county standards) at this point. Is it bad to say I was surprised to ONLY get the one phone call over the holidays?

Today was fun

2007-12-31T22:35:00.000-08:00

Sort of a milestone for us. We took the 6y/o in to get his name changed at the doctors office. It was neat to change his name to his new legally given name :) And
our last name
It sounds silly true but it was an emotional moment for me. Now to get him enrolled into the military side of things

My 2007

2007-12-31T22:28:00.000-08:00

Monday, December 31, 2007 (as posted on my other blog http://blog.gina8724.com/ )

My 2007
I do one of these corny posts EVERY year. Sort of the Cliff Notes version of my year.
This year has certainly had it's ups and downs. I started out last year with DH in VA where he was for a few months. We finally completed our home study and also got our foster care license. We were licensed in March and the same day, before the ink was dry we got placement of two brothers. Their other brother arrived about 2 weeks later.
In June we went from a house with six boys to a house with EIGHT boys when we took placement of a 5 y/o and a 3 month old. The 5 y/o was "possibly an adoptive placement". Two weeks later the three siblings left and went to go live with another family member (I still think of them often).
Come July I find out the surprise of all surprises... I am pregnant. After being told without medical intervention it wouldn't happen... well we showed them. DH was on the ship in the Pacific ocean when I emailed him to tell him we were expecting. We also learnedin July we were selected to be the official adoptive placement of the 5y/o
In August I took in a brother sister pair for a week while their foster mom was on vacation.
In September the 5y/o started Kindergarten. Out 9 y/o started in his gifted program and our 12 y/o started his last year of Junior High. At the end of the month we took placement of another 12 y/o boy.
In October. I withdrew our 13 y/o (he turned 13 in OCT ;) ) from school. He began homeschooling. Took him to yet another doctor to get a more specific and on target diagnosis on his condition. DH and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We were again separated by miles upon miles of ocean
In November we, for the saftey of the boys and myself asked for the 12y/o foster placement to be removed. That same day we were asked to take in an 11 y/o boy. We hesitated and two days after the 12 y/o was gone the 11 y/o was here. Bringing us right back up to 6 boys.
In Dec, our 5 y/o turned 6! And then on the 17th, it was made official... his adoption was finalized. We learned at this point too that the now 9 month old would more than likely be moving onto a family placement as well. We also learned we are expecting a GIRL. Wonders will never cease!
It has been a year of major ups and downs and I left out a lot BUT I included some of the more interesting points hehe.
What are my wishes for 2008? Well I want our baby girl to be born happy and healthy. I would love for the 11 y/o to get some sort of permanancy. If that means he goes back to his parents then GREAT but this kid needs SOMETHING stable in his life. He feels like he is stuck in limbo here. Who can blame him? The system has failed him more than once. I want my husband to be here for our daughters birth and though he will have to leave quickly I want him to be safe in his travels to a part of the world in turmoil. I can hope our baby will delay walking until Daddy gets home. I want my children to continue to improve in ALL that they do. They truly make me very proud. Our 13 y/o though. I hope he finds peace there is so much turmoil in his brain that some peace would be a welcome thing.
I want everyone to reach and be recognized for their full potential.If you read it all to this point I know I can count on you as at the very least an interested reader and some I know are great friends too. Thank you all for being there for me. It means a lot

Oh wow

2007-12-20T14:02:00.000-08:00

If we were looking to cmpete with the duggars hehe or COULD in any possible way do it. There is a sibling group of SIX.
http://www.nwae.org/c6864-69.html
They are adorable :) Well the one boy does not look like taking a picture was what he wanted to do LMAO

And with that....

2007-12-17T13:59:00.000-08:00

We are done, today it was made official, our six year old is our son. He now has a name he is not ashamed to have called out at a doctors office. I think that part made him happiest!
He did proudly proclaim that he gets to stay with us until he is a grown up :)

Tomorrow

2007-12-16T19:40:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the day folks!! Our little man is officially OURS! Court in the morning and wrangling all of the boys for this... well I may need a nap after all is said and done!
I am giddy excited but also in a state of disbelief that "this is it".

Sad and peeved

2007-12-11T06:12:00.000-08:00

First of all I put in the 'no I am not just fat I am pregnant' notice to Bears social worker(though I am ALL belly it is hard to miss). NOT that I wanted Bear to move. I really don't Though I will be honest the thought of a one year old and a newborn...scares the TAR out of me! But I let her know because when bitty baby G arrives, we will oficially, yet again, be over the state limit and be at 7 children. I have to let them know these things :( Anyway it turns out the family member who they have been talking about getting licensed to take Bear (for the last 6 months!) Has finally stepped forward now that it is looking like reunification may not be happening. So Bear may be moving onto a realative placement. It SUCKS on the one hand because he is part of our family and we have had him here since he was 3 months old. But if he has to go anywhere else, with family would be my choice.

I am a bit peeved. Yesterday afternoon Mav had a child health screener stop by andask some questions. Simple stuff for the standard reports. She wraps it up by asking if he was goint to/wanted to see his mom. No biggie right?? Yeah well first Mav asks "Which one? My bio or one of my two old adoptive moms?" The lady asks which do you want to see? Mav gets his hopes up you can hear it. He said "Yeah I would love to see my last adoptive mom and my bio mom...but the court order" That is right folks screener lady spoke out of turn and "offered" a visit that she had no right to with no real knowledge of the case(s). It is a wonder this on top of other people failing him the kid has NO faith in the foster care system!!This was after when she was here (She got here 15 minutes EARLY I had no warning time for Mav) he came home from school and the first words from her mouth are "we need to talk". The get starts to look ill, sits down while wringing his hands and says "You all are moving me again??!?!?!?!" She THEN introduces herself and with some conversational prompting by me Mav gets assured she is not here to take him nor does she have say to move him. UGH Like he needs this??

Travel

2007-12-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

One of the good things about being a military family is that we have traveled a little. I admit not NEAR as much as we could have but we have seen a few interesteing places and got the chance to live in them for awhile. I think the one with the most to offer.... well you know that is hard. Each place has had SO much to offer. But I honestly thought we had a blast in San Diego. While not a place we wanted to settle down in it was a great place to be a tourist for a few years. There was so much in the area to see. Old Town, Coronado, Sea World, LegoLand,Harbor cruises, whale watching etc etc.
I think we did the majority of it. We had some fantastic weekends spent at the zoo and wild animal park. My kids still talk about the flamingo exhibit at the zoo and the gorillas, which of course are my favorite animals :) It is amazing the memories we took away from there. If we never lived in the area I would have to take my children there to experience all there is to see.
Trusted Tours and Attractions Has tickets to many (maybe all?) of the attractions we have been to.
If we had plans to go to Key West we would check the site out for tickets to the local attractions :)

Kiddo

2007-12-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

Well on the suggestion of afriend the new addition will be nicknamed Maverick...Mav for short. It is due to his desire to be a fly boy:)
Mav is a good kid. I need to do some reading to familiarize myself on how to deal with some things he has been through. He is showing NO signs now BUT not sure when things will surface. He is a good kid. Interacts well with other kids. He is very neat... as in tidy. He reminded the 13 y/o this morning to make his bed. His room has been cleaner. I try to let him know I do not expect perfection I truly think though he is walking on eggshells afraid to be moved on again

Liam update

2007-11-29T18:04:00.000-08:00

Well folks the impossible has happened. OK OK Not impossible but hmm maybe long awaited? Not that long awaited either since he just arrived in June. But we have our official adoption date!!! We will be in front of the judge on Dec 17th so say "we do" haha. It was supposed to be on National Adoption Day and then It WAS going to be the 0th But we had to get a certain judge. So the 17th it is!
I cannot wait!

Mr Depp

2007-11-29T17:18:00.000-08:00

to his friends haha. Through the years he has done a lot of screen work. Heck I have very fond memories of 21 Jumpstreet. Do you know that I looked around school and wondered who the undercover was? Yeah I lead a lonely childhood haha.
Looking back at his movies though it is hard to pinpoint what my favorites are. Edward Scissorhands has to come in one of the top slots. I love Tim Burton films anyway. A bit dark with a bit of deep thought required to get everything ;) I appreciate a good thought movie as much as I appreciate a good old sit and do not have to think except for mindless violence or comedy (hence the term mindless haha). But I loved the emotion. The loss of his father. The wanted to be accepted by normal society. Yet that normal society was far from normal. The manicured to perfection lawns the cookie cutter houses, the perfect on the outside and dysfunctional as the rest of us on the inside families. The to find love... ahhh darn movie makes me cry each and every time!
Then again one of his more recent movies Pirates of the Carribean. Oh my goodness some yummy pirate action! Ok I will be the first to admit, I could do without the eyeliner!! But the action and the one liners I love it. Plus I have a 5 year old who is absolutely obsessed with all things Pirates and Wants to be Captain Jack Sparrow when he is done being and Army Man and then a firefighter haha. The Priate outcast. Never really thought that was even possible haha I thought an outcast pirate was an outcast pirate.
It is hard to pick one I like more. I like each for a different reason. But I think I could watch Pirates untilmy eyeballs fall out. And my five year old tests that haha
Now imagine my surprise when the other day I saw a trailer for Sweeny Todd!! I caught part of it on tv and had to truck on over to the visit the official Sweeney Todd movie site Ok Double bonus for me I like the story Sweeny Todd. The morbid humor and story of revenge Yeah buddy bring it on! Of course like anything else you can catch it on MySpace for updates and info :) visit Sweeney Todd on MySpace

cha-cha-cha changes

2007-11-29T16:21:00.000-08:00

Well The day I informed my licensing worker AND Bill's SW that he would have to be moved, they brought another kid to my attention. Forbid I go a day not at or over capacity geesh Well we sort of brushed off the thought of taking in this boy (of course another boy).
Well Bill got dropped of Monday. I got a call or email each day about this boy. He lives in our area so I think that is a reason they were asking so often plus placement was not vital at that time.
Dh and I discussed this boy and said "you know Bill and the way things went left us all reeling let's wait" Today the placement coordinator caught me on the phone. haha She asked me again. So I told her I would call her back. I prepared my list of questions, with additions since the Bill experience.
This new one (give me a bit to figure out a name) has some past issues. Seems the same thing happens to him. The kid needs a break. BUT the issues we had with Bill are not here.
Oh let me add Bill had a bug in his ear. His bio mother apparently encouraged him to do things to disrup the placement. But that is a vent I will let go.
New boy is legally free. No visitation. No siblings.
So against my first instinct of take a break and with my instinct of help him .....he will be here in about an hour.
Wish me luck

Bear's FTDM update

2007-11-20T06:16:00.000-08:00

I have some points I would like to make in this update.
-I think it is odd that all that was discussed was what the MOTHER should be doing to get her son back. Dad lives with her and he has nothing no requirements etc discussed That strikes me as just plain odd you know?
-The parents were too 'sick' to make the meeting. So there was a telephone conference.
-I would venture a safe bet that at the very least the father was rather "impaired"
-Brought back a lot of memories of my own father and his issues and how he was, during the bad times. It left most of us at the meeting in the room, scratching our heads and wondering "what did he say/mean?!?!?!"
-Positive I have had Bear for 5 almost 6 months and his father has seen him the last two visits that weren't cancelled. When Dad is at the visits it is a positive thing for dad and Bear!
-Mom is trying and I have nothing but the highest hopes for her I really do.
-Reunification is the agenda and ultimate goal but when that will be done? no one knows and it was not discussed.

So I left the meeting NOT knowing more than I went in knowing except for feeling a bit attacked by the father over my parenting skills. HOWEVER that is completely normal. The bioparent is not raising their child and anyone else doing it is doing it wrong.

I have said he has to go

2007-11-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

Well a placement that sounded perfect turned out to be FAR from it.
He is getting in the other kids faces trying to start fights because "Then I can move I will have a reason" He is threatening them, I am done. He is becoming more comfrontational and more of a danger IMO. I am suspecting RAD? I don't know. All I know is it is something I cannot handle period. The stress is making me sick and the kids are very unhappy. I hate to say it so am I.
I feel like I am giving up on him.
The thing I think he doesn't realize. He cannot simply skate by and not do schoolwork, homework and chores which is where all of his rage comes from. I tried to break things down spread them out for him so he will not be overwhelmed (though he has ONE chore here, moreso school work and homework he DOES understand it he is capable but he just doesn't want to). He doesn't do anything.
I have tried reasoning, humor, schedule nothing is working. I cannot do this though. I just can't
So now explain why do I feel like a failure anyway?
I am truly done with the foster care thing. Now for this adoption to get finalized!! UGH

Lord help me

2007-11-18T19:37:00.000-08:00

but I am actually VERY close to giving up on this kid. I do not want to but I just do not have it in me much more. I have NEVER met a child like this. He is downright mean and obstinate. Everyone here has chores to do. Member of the household? You participate in chores. He has kitchen counters. You tell him to do them he will scowl and not move, not talk and not respond. He does this in class too. He will refuse to do anything the teacher asks and just not respond. Like he has given up on himself. I know if I give up on him I will just add to that feeling for him. None of his family wants him that sounds so bad.... what I mean is they have all given up. I would just be one more. He screams at me. Is mean to the other kids. Threatens to leave on a daily basis.
My husband is due home soon and he will be around for awhile. I should wait right? wait to see if DH's influence will make a difference?
I hate this. I HATE being the bad guy. Treating him like a two year old and guiding him through- guiding his hand step by step on cleaning the counters.
He is so hard to deal with. It has been only two months. Should I give it longer? I know that in a few months I will have a newborn and be recovering from a c-section. I will not be able to stay as on top of him as I am right now.
WHAT DO I DO? Any suggestions from folks who have been there? If my doctors appointment on Tuesday shows my blood pressure to be rising the decision will be made by my doctor unfortunately

Let me add too, I know counseling. But When you take him in and he only does the scowl and no speaking thing it is never going to help him.

Top 10 reasons to adopt a teen

2007-11-10T22:50:00.000-08:00

I saw this at 'the office' the other day #10 made me laugh

1. No diapers to change.

2. We sleep through the night.

3. We will be ready to move out sooner...but we can still visit.

4. Your don't just get a child, you get a friend.

5. We will keep you up to date with the latest fashion.

6. No more carpools; we can drive you places.

7. No more bottles, formula or burp rags required.

8. We can help out around the house.

9. We can learn from you.

10. We can teach you how to run your computer.

Photography this is a sponsored post

2007-11-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

Since my oldest is now being homeschooled I am trying my best to come up wit things to engage him and to hold his interest. I am also trying to think a bit outside of the traditional school cirriclum as well. I have always been a bit outside the norm and I try in this case too.
I guess I am like a lot of parents who project what they like onto their kids in hopes they will carry on that tradition or obsession, whatever the case may be HAHAHA. With my son being so artisticly minded I really think one of y loves woulb be a great fit for him as well, digital photography. The quality of digital prints have come so far! The quality and clarity are spectacular. Add to that some of the digital editing software out there it is amazing (I have the Micosift digital editing suite) I have been a Sony fan for awhile. I have a DSC right now but I would LOVE LOVE to upgrade. There are so many choices out there though (like Nikon D3). I have heard the Cannons are great cameras but You know I am such a stubborn woman I am afraid to make a change! There is a professional Sony but it runs $1500. I am not sure I could bring myself to buy that even IF we had the money you know?
But I am sure with a little bit of encouragement I can teach my son to see life through the lense...and pass on the love ;)

This is a sponsored post by Ritzcamera.com

FTDM

2007-11-10T14:07:00.000-08:00

Well Bear has a FTDM on the 14th. I have been to one before so I guess it isn't as frightening until the word Lawyer was brought up! But it is just a they are invited as well thing. The whole meeting will be about the case it's status and working toward reunifocation. I know I would love to have bear in our lives forever but I am really rooting for his mom and dad to get him back. Desite the prolems they had and are working through they love him and care for him like nothing else. I do not even know a timeline and I hope this is brought up at the meeting

Dental

2007-11-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

Ok let's face it I am no stranger to dental issues and dental pain. I truly wish we had some sort of enormous coverage for dental work. But alas I do not. I am serious over the year I have experienced almost everything. Root canals, cavities, crowns, bridges you name it. My next step is implants. I even am dealing with a broken crown at the moment. I am unlucky when it comes to my mouth haha in more way than one. I have this dread of going to the dentist. I would say it is not so uch fear of the dentist. Because no matter what some may think about me being a glutton for punishment with my herd of children hehe but I do not like the pain of the dentist. Not just the physical pain either. I am talking about the pain to my pocket as well. Oh my Goodness as I tell my kids ont of them has to become a dentist because I cannot afford all of the dental work I will need in the future. Now there are times I really wish I had a temporary fix so I could maybe put off going to the dentist for just a little while longer. Like this time I was dispatching at the fire department (bcak in my 'working' days). I was eating a flippin' bagel dog in my down time and a filling fell out! I had to get someone in for me for the day because it was so awkward to talk with the pain and the location of the filling to talk at all. I read about Dentemp OS. I can count the times temporary dental repair would have been so great to have. the stuff that people come up with, complete genious and of course a slap in the forehead thinking why didn't I think of that?!?!?! This stuff is FDA approved quick and easy to use.

Smile

2007-11-08T20:53:00.000-08:00

My last two pay per post posts were totally things I enjoyed. I truly love and/or am passionate about those things. It makes it so easy to write when it i something you care about though. Not that I won't BS about anything under the sun but hey I can talk easier about things I love....just look at how much I ramble about my kids LOL

I remember

2007-11-08T19:45:00.000-08:00

my time spent with my grandmother over the years growing up. My grandmother passed away a few years back due to "Alzheimers related complications. The last few years my grandmother spent in a nursing facility. My grandfather had so much love for her I know it was the most difficult decision he hd ever had to make in his life. He wqas unable to keep up with her increasing demands as she got worse over the years. I know how much it hurt him that she did not remember the home they shared for what 50 years? No close I think 40 years. They raised seven children there in that little three bedroom house (that in itself amazed me). But the love they shared the life they shared. It was all forgotten because of a devistating illness. But do you know what? My grandfather went to the nursing home EVERY single day to visit his wife. That type of love and devotion, every one can only hope for someone to share eternity with like that. That nursing home was a great thing for my grandmother. Caring for someone with Alzheimers is so heart wrenching. Having the proper care is vital. Not only for the person who is living with the disease, but for the people who love that person.
With what I said about my grandfather, how he visited her every day even though she did not know him he was still there every day. Some people though are not that lucky. they suffer this disease alone. no family to comfort them and no memories either. Around the holidays these individuals may need a little extra from those of us out there who can help. I want to suggest that you visit the Alzheimers Foundation of America store. The proceeds all benefit the foundation itself. so many good things can be done for research and support if only everyone just did a little, buy a small holiday gift if you can. This is one of those worthy causes that I really feel strongly about.

Whew

2007-11-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

I think I did it ok
Today he tells my 9y/o that Bill is going to make me so mad I will kick him out.
Bill packs his stuff now every few days. He insists he is leaving.
I let him pack. I let him keep his things in boxes if that is what he is comfortable with. I told him that "You can pack our stuff you can live out of boxes for months if that is what you want. But I am not kicking you out and I am not giving up on you"
He insisted he will take his things and "live on the side of the road until someone picks me up" After I told him it is cold wet and muddy he said "OK I will wait until spring" I laughed and said well at least it will be warmer wet and muddy" He smiled and said "OK Summer" I looked at him with a big ol' smile and said "do you forget what state we live in?" Which led to us laughing about it.
He did not want me to call his social worker. I offered. Which also leads me to believe he is truly testing me and my feelings for him.
So by letting him have stuff packed is doing nothing that will damage him forever right?

My obsessions

2007-11-08T19:24:00.001-08:00

I have had a few obsessions over the years. Some have stuck and some have not. I am sure we are all happy some didn't stick haha But the one I am glad that stuck is my love for reading. I remember being the kid in fifth and sixth grade with my nose buried in a book. My favotrite author at that point in my life was Stephen King. I read everything of his I could get my hands on, even the Richard Bachman stuff. Bonus points to anyone who knows anything about Richard Bachman call yourself a fan haha. For those of you who don't.... did you ever watch the movie Running man? The written story 10 times better. His writing is so involving he can bring you into the novel and engross you completely.
One of my favorite stories was The Mist. I rank it right behind The Stand IMO. The books that have been made into movies some are complete disappointments. I do not find this true with Stephen King. Somehow they are adapted quite well to movie form. When I was watching TV with my son and and an ad came on for The Mist by Stephen King (take a look at the trailer!)OMG!!! It was like a toy ad for my kids I screamed and said I HAVE to see it!!! haha. I have my 13 year old son started on Kings books. He asked what the book was about and I told him I remember being able to go back to the pictures I created in my own mind when I was reading the book. I really cannot wait to see how well they do with this movie. I think it will be a great movie to go see. Umm anyone want to be my date??

I am petty

2007-11-01T19:54:00.000-07:00

not pretty but petty. I am reading this letter over and over again. I guess I am just trying to get a feel for the tone. everytime I read it I read it in a different tone. You know what bothers me? she refers to him as 'my son' several times in the letter. I know he is not my biological son. DUH He IS her son. But with they only thing I know about her, what I have read, I KNOW what she did and didn't do. I also know of course the file isn't going to be written in an objective way either.
Why did I get mad that she refers to him as her son?? like I said he is. I have had him since this year only. but I still feel hurt someone else referred to him as 'my son' that is what I do. I need to stop being petty and get over myself. I think I also find it odd she never refers to him by his name. Is she attempting to do a little bit of a disconnect?
DH is leaving the whole decision about contact up to me (I scanned and emailed him a copy of the letter-thank you technology). I am leaning toward yes. what scares me??? I am not sure how long she will stay clean (she is pregnant again and says she is clean this time-I think she learned how much it can mess up a kid!) and I know what she is capable of when she isn't clean. I am afraid of what Liam will feel like WITH her contact through his life or what he will feel knowing I stopped him from contact. I think a PO Box in another town is the way to go....

Paintball

2007-11-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

The two older boys are at that stage. I call it the becoming a man and getting more expensive hobbies and toys stage LOL Their interest at this point? Paintball. The good news is that we have a paintball field right up the road from us!! My biggest problem has been the equipment! What do I buy???? There are a ton of options out there. The paintball guns have been the biggest issue for me. OMG there are a ton of options out there. Trying to find a good quality gun that is sturdy enough to endure a 12 and 13 y/o is a chore let me tell you!!! I have heard tippmann paintball markers are good. Good quality and ability to get some good play out of them. I will have to give those a try

Got the letter

2007-11-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

Well I got the letter from Liam's Bio mom. It was addressed to DH and I. It was her asking to have some sort of contact either with us and/or Liam. She would like to send gift etc as well. She thanked us for taking care of him. And said in her letter that she did try and always had the best intentions but it didn't work (just summarizing there) It now brings me to, do we get a PO box in another town and allow some sort of contact?
Confusion abounds!!

Flooring yet again

2007-11-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

In our quest to replace the flooring here in this house, I have been doing my research online and also in store. The one drawback of online shopping I have found is the warranty. I was even warned on one of my message boards to make sure I read that policy very carefully. On pay per post I ran accross the followingg which was intriguing

iFLOOR

iFLOOR, America's largest online flooring retailer, today announced a $1,000,000 limited warranty designed to protect its customers from predatory manufacturer policies that exclude warranty coverage from online purchases.

The policy, which goes into effect immediately, offers up to one million dollars of coverage in the event that a customer's warranty claim is denied specifically because they made their purchase online. It is complimentary for every iFLOOR customer, and protects the buyer under the same terms as the original product warranty.

iFLOOR, Inc. CEO, Steve Simonson, came up with the program to combat "scare tactics" used by manufacturers of hardwood floors and laminate flooring. "Their idea is to discourage you from buying at a discount!" wrote Simonson in his blog "It's About Flooring". "This is not right! You deserve to save money! So we're going to take care of this problem once and for all."

And it would appear that federal law is on his side. Section 108 of the 1975 Magnuson-Moss Act, states that, "In general, tie-in sales provisions are not allowed. Such a provision would require a purchaser of the warranted product to buy an item or service from a particular company to use with the warranted product in order to be eligible to receive a remedy under the warranty."

Under iFLOOR's new warranty, a key provision allows for iFLOOR to "seek justice" on behalf of the customer in the event of legal action. According to Simonson, "I'm putting iFLOOR's money where my mouth is."

About iFLOOR, Inc.
Since 1998, iFLOOR.com has been the leading online and retail flooring company, with 36 local retail stores nationwide offering more than 70,000 products, including hardwood floors, laminate flooring, bamboo flooring and cork floors. iFLOOR.com is the largest online flooring retailer according to Internet Retailer Magazine, and was named by Inc. Magazine as one of the fastest growing private companies in the United States for the past three years. Committed to quality customer service, superior selection and friendly expert advice, iFLOOR.com enables customers to buy flooring both online and in its retail stores at a substantial savings over traditional retailers. For more information about iFLOOR, please visit www.iFLOOR.com.

###

you know

2007-10-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here researching the new medicine that my oldest (bio) is going on. I started thinking.... let's say I was reading profiles of adoptable children. If I read the things that would be used to describe my bio-son or the medication he is on I would click 'next' or 'back' quicker than a blink of an eye. It is amazing because you know what my thought would be when I bypass that profile? "I cannot handle a kid like that". But I already do!!!! I never really thought about it. NOT that I want to take on another but you know what I mean.

a letter

2007-10-31T19:19:00.000-07:00

Our soon to be adoptive son has a letter enroute to our home. He, as you all know, has contact with his maternal grandfather. His Biomom wrote him a letter and sent it to grandpa, he is sending it to us. I am anxious to get it and see what she says. I wonder if she wrote anyting to us? hmmmm I have never met her, I know nothing more than what I have read in Liams file. We all know that it is not in the best light!!! I want to feel sorry for her...maybe even like her but it is so hard.

Men!

2007-10-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

I swear men are so darn hard to buy for. At least my husband will put on a "Oh thank you honey it is just what I always wanted (and never knew I needed)" fascade. I love him for that ;) but seriously I really want to find him the perfect gift. Want a good place for... gifts for guys OK now that is a place with some unique, still going to be talking about it come New Year's gifts

Calls

2007-10-31T08:37:00.000-07:00

Would you believe this. I as a foster home am operating at capacity. I have 6 total children right now. Over the past couple of weeks I have gotten several calls, a sibling group of THREE, a teen boy, two other teen boys 2 emergency placements. Good lord how could I take any in. And they know I am full they are just hurting THAT bad for homes!!

housing

2007-10-27T16:33:00.000-07:00

All of the changes in the housing market recently have been amazing. When we bought this house...what about 3 years ago almost now? The market was hot, I mean finding a house was darn near impossible. If you did find one you hoped that you would get your offer in before someone else did and you were outbid. Heck it was like EBay!! Now it is more of a buyers market. Mortgage companies are doing all they can to get the right buyers in. The offers are amazing in my opinion. You will find offers everywhere out there like Mortgages UK They do offer independent financial consulters for every call. That can, I am sure be quite the benefit.

I went

2007-10-26T17:24:00.001-07:00

to pick up all of the boxes for Bill. I ran into ou foster care licensor as I do EVERY time I am at that office ;)
She asked how everything was going and were the boxes because someone was coming or going. haha i guess that may not be funny to any one but a foster parent haha. I explained they all belonged to our 12 y/o. She wanted to know how he was fitting in. I told her besides really minor adjustment issues things are going well.
She then wanted to know if we were holding out for a girl for our next placement. I pointed to the belly and said I would let her know when we find out. She about fell on the floor!! She said the typical "no way?!?! Are you kidding me???" I told her besides Liams worker she is the only one to know. She said she won't tell anyone (we will see) But she insisted on me emailing her after my ultrasound on the 6th!
Oh when Bill got home from school he was in shock!! He said I got boxes?? Oh sweet! and dug through them and showed me every little thing. It was fun to be honest. He then ran upstairs to put everything away in HIS room lol

I want

2007-10-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

Man that is a phrase that I dislike hearing out of the mouths of my children but yet here it is coming from mine LOL. All of the boys have MATCHING nice furniture in their rooms. Where dh and I have some ugly hodge podge of furniture from here and there. I would LOVE to have a matching bedroom set. My dream is to get a four poster bed. I found some nice beds on this site out of the UK, they have Oak Beds. That is where we are leaning toward. we prefer the more natural look. There are some beds there NOT four posters that I like!

Delivery

2007-10-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

for Bill!! I got another call from DSHS. They have 3 MORE boxes of stuff for Bill. Bills grandma packed up some more of his items and dropped them off for him to get. I have to make a trip down to Costco today so it works out that the office is right down the street from there.
Other stuff with him. Yesterday SHOULD have been his visit. Yet he walks in the front door after the school bus gets here. WTF?? Apparently the visit got cancelled and yet no one had the common courtesy to let me know! What would have happened if we were gone? No one would have been home to meet him and he would have been stuck on the porch. I am TICKED

So My Mom

2007-10-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

Is coming up tomorrow. No big deal to most I am sure. It really isn't a big deal. I am happy that she will be here this weekend. I have so much going on that an extra set of hands can be a great asset this weekend. Most of the time we do not share the same interests. She does some things that can be quite fun however. I like some odd things though like antique shopping. I think it is a matter of finding that hidden treasure. And the history behind the items, what people were like who had the items, what happened in their lives. This coming from the woman who wonders what had happened on the spot she is standing thousands of years ago. I guess it comes from the history lover in me :) Where we are there are a lot of places to hopefully find that hidden treasure. BUT while I think we have some gems to be found here, it is nothing compared to the finds that can be found in St Augustine Florida (Not to mention that kick butt lighthouse that was on Ghost Hunters!)There are actually a lot of Events in St. Augustine with Uptown Saturday Nights on Oct. 27th and Nov 24th. There is free parking and some shops with open houses have free grub. Heck it sounds better than a "Costco lunch" hahaha
Now to get that plane ticket..... and a free babysitter. That isn't asking too much right?

Small Victory

2007-10-26T09:41:00.001-07:00

Well adoption support called. After the adoption will will recieve the same as the current foster payment with room for negotiation when the time comes plus full medical!
They admit he is a special needs kiddo! That is not something that most WANT to hear but when it comes to him getting what he will need it actually makes me happy!

Meet the Robinsons

2007-10-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

We watched this for family movie night last night. it was a cute movie. I wasn't aware that the lead character was a 12 y/o boy who was in an orphange and had a hard time being adopted! The kid mentioned how that he had to find a family when he was 12 because it was hard enough to find an adoptive family at 12 that it was impossible at 13! I get a mumble from beside me which was Bill saying "No kidding, but it CAN happen"

Not my Mom yet

2007-10-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

Bill told my oldest today, when my oldest made a refernce about me to Bill and referred to me as 'Bill's Mom', that I would not "officially be his Mom until the adoption is finalized" He looked at me and said "right?" Dang kids know how to catch you off guard. I told him That I was "penciled in as mom and the permanent ink will be laid down when the adoption is finalized." He laughed and said that works.

Funny

2007-10-18T10:05:00.000-07:00

People have asked what the kids want for Christmas. Do you know how tempted I am to say Costco and Commissary gift certificates?!?!?!?!

Also I think it is quite hillarious though appropriate maybe? That we have moved passsed buying things in family size and now we buy "Institutional size" Institutional??? Hahaha it fits, sadly ;)

our house!!

2007-10-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

I found our house! OK I found the plans of my dream house Give us 5-10 acres a view of the water and OMG I will never want to move

Don't we all??

2007-10-14T02:55:00.000-07:00

Bill has some problems with My oldest sons mood shifts. I want to say join the club. But it is hard to do that. I try hard to explain that he is mean sometimes we all know this but he has issues with anger and while that does not excuse it it is something to keep in mind. I told him we can all hope that when he starts medications next week he will be easier to live with. OK I got woken up by WWIII at 2 am. I diffused the situation and they are friends again but damn DAILY??? I am tired! My oldest screwed up though. Bill is an abuse survivor. My oldest did something to Bill that triggered a flashback of being beaten. I completely understand where Bill is coming from
I am making no sense and I am exhausted!!
Night

This girl

2007-10-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

Makes me want to cry NWAE the look on her face. The utter sadness in her eyes. I swear :(

Tomorrow is

2007-10-10T16:17:00.001-07:00

Bi-Polar awareness day. Living with a child who suffers from BPD it is not an easy road. You can read more about BPD in children at BPkids. Support the cause, hug a parent who is trying their best to cope or spread the word.

oh Bill.....

2007-10-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

Like I said I knew that when I had to enforce the rules there would be an issue. Well tada Houston we have an issue. He loves his ideo games and I am very willing to let the kids play video games IF their homework and cores are getting done...completely. Grades do not have to be A's but do your best. Well he has not been doing homework and half assing the few chores he has. So i said today hey these are the rules this is your part of the deal... you are not living up to your end, either you start to or the games are in my possesion a all times.
Well wouldn't you know it he had homework (and did it). So i will have to start stepping up the enforcement.
He is really a good kid though he is just not used to any follow through.

How many

2007-10-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

Visits missed makes a parent inconsistant? Once a month? every other week? Three times a month?
I really do wonder. You guessed it Bear is missing another visit this week. Grrrrr.

Bears worker will be here this week. Not too much to do but it figures I got that damn cold back AGAIN. And AGAIN it settles in my lungs.

Bear is trying to pull himself up to a stand!!! I am so not ready for this haha

I have to turn in the paperwork for Liam so he can get his surgery.

Holy crapola

2007-10-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

I got the notification that I will be paid for Bill! I am in the system and I have been approved payment! It did NOT take the months that it took for Bear! So Nov 1st I will get it. Good news for Christmas shopping right? Lots of kiddos to buy for this year ;) Plus no matter how much Bill insists he is fine I am buying him some more clothes :) I snuck in a couple of things already ;)

AWWWW

2007-10-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

Bill had his visit today. fine and dandy. He just got home. His siter gave him a gift for me :) She sent him with lip gloss for "his new Mom". Dang that was sweet!!!

The good, the bad and the stinky

2007-10-03T21:00:00.000-07:00

The good....
Bill is fitting in well. I still have to remind him that the younger kids deserve repect too even if they interrupt the video game you are playing/friend you are talking to etc. But the kid cracks me up, every night he tells me how great my cooking is. Tonight I looked at him and said In a total sarcastic way "You are just saying that because you want to stay huh?" He smiled and said "oh yeah!! Are we having dessert too???" and then he cracked up.

The bad.....
Liams adoption will not be finalized in Nov. his worker is not going to be ready by that point. Le Sigh. So we will have to wait. I am upset.

The stinky....
One teen(ish) boy was bad. now that there are two OMG!!! Farting is a competition! LOL

Hmmmm

2007-10-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

It is interesting. I am very leery of being tricked, for lack of better words, by DSHS. Bill is here Bill is a great fit (so far). He has some problems including coming from NO structure (I will not be popular when he gets rules inforced). Anyway I get a call from another CW today, one that helped us with his stuff the day I picked him up. She called to give me the name and number of his transporter (Bill still has one weekly visit). She too was very excited he was here and she said that when she saw him that day that was the most she had seen him smile. She has known him for awhile and she sees/observes him during visits etc.
Wow umm it makes me wonder one of two things. How miserable was he?? and are they trying to just snow me??
turns out though Liams worker knows about him. She was contacted to be his adoption worker. She is going to look over his file and then tell me if there are any red flags I should be aware of.

Bill

2007-09-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

I think that will be his name. He is here. We spent the day together today we chit chatted about video games. house stuff, food, rules and chores. He also got tortured with his first trip to Costco.
It is weird because I know he knows his mom is going to TPR. He also knows that his worker was looking for an adoptive home for him. But I do not want to make the assumption that he will be adopted by us or that everything will work out. I know that there is a honeymoon period. I can HOPE that things work out. I can hope that we get to adopt him but it also feels awkward to say things that may make him feel like we are just "taking him for a test drive" and if we do not like him we will send him packing.
He seems like a good kid all around. We will see how things go but my gut feeling says it is a good fit ;)

The relative placement is

2007-09-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

causing some problems apparently. So they have to remove (boy who STILL needs a nickname) bright and early in the morning. UGH Only problem I have to get out of here after my kids get off to school for Bear's ENT appointment at children's!! UGH so scheduling will be hellish.
wish me luck I HATE to think of him sitting in the DSHS office for hours

Liam

2007-09-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

Well as soon as I get the authorizing signature from his adoption worker Liam will be having surgery. His appointment at the ENT today was short and sweet a look in the throat and a "wow" and "yes those have to come out" . My suspicions that Liam has large adenoids was correct. However his tonsils are so enlarged they are almost touching as well. So both will come out.

Leaving on a jet plane

2007-09-25T09:08:00.000-07:00

OK so we aren't but I tell you dh and I have been talking about taking a vacation. This one is aside from the one we are taking as a family next year to colorado. We are talking about him and I getting away just US. We have never taken a vacation together alone can you believe that. So we have been talking that for our fifteenth anniversary we will jet away on a vacation. but where to? Should we fly into flights to New York for a weekend getaway? Maybe. Or maybe we will fly into europe and do a 10 day cruise there. This is my current front runner!! Finding cheap flights though can be a callenge! I really do think that we want more of a longer vacation. But you know maybe I will take a spa getaway in themeantime. No one can fault a mom of 5...almost 6 ok then 7........ for doing that can they??

First irritation

2007-09-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well DH is active duty military. No biggie. But since the military offers adoption reimbursement for norecurring costs the state won't cover it. With me so far? Well we have NO clue who to go to for this. Neither does our adoption worker nor dh's chain of command UGH So I call legal. I have to explain the situation to two different people. Their solution?? Come in for an appointment. This means I have to drive all the way down there for an appointment that will more than likely prove to be a waste of time. I will get in to speak to legal they will say OH well so 'n' so takes care of this.
The saga will continue.....

Drug addiction

2007-09-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

It is amazing to me what some of the kids in the system have been through. they have been put through so much because of their parents (for the most part). I truly think that anyone can overcome drug addiction. That is if they want to and if they take the right steps and have the right mindset. Finding the right support is key. Heck now people can access drug forums to discuss detox and treatments etc.

Oh man!

2007-09-24T18:27:00.000-07:00

I have the House rules speech geared more toward the 7 and under crowd! I need to revamp it for (boy who has yet to be nicknamed).
-respect others
-respect yourself
-respect your things and the things of others
-one per bed
-no touching of anyones 'private areas' (which leads to the yours is yours do what you want just do it in private)
-explination of what "in private" means
-food rules ask before you take. take only what you will eat

What else should I include?

I need to sit and talk with (boy who has yet to be nicknamed) about what his expectations are re allowance. And come to a compromise.
We need to reassign/redistribute chores. discuss bed times TV and gaming rules.
Ummmmm I think that is it?

The phone call

2007-09-24T16:30:00.000-07:00

Well the phone call with... ummm I have yet to think of a nickname for him yet! Well it went well. We chatted about video games and food typical pre-teen boy stuff. I was laughing so hard. My son piped up and said "tell him we have a lot of food!" He says "Well you don't have to worry about that I can take care of that. I love to eat!" lol
After the convo I had to leave to get #1 son from his appointment. The SW called in the time I was gone. I just got back to her. She told me she was impressed. I asked about what. Apparently this little guy has never laughed like he did today with me on the phone! He was laughing we were talking etc. I had fun. Anyway he told the SW he is looking forward to the move and living here.
I guess we sound 'cool' LMAO
So again DH is out...he will come home to another kid!!
He knew about him before he left though. I am excited! Wow. While he isn't a teen, he was an older kid who was harder to place. So I guess my desire to adopt a teen is pretty much fufilled. :) I think we were meant to stay in foster care for this guy. My tune may change... but we will see. It feels like a good fit and I have no reservations.
Oh the SW said that she hopes things work out since they are going through TPR right now and hopes we will want to adopt him :)

It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well folks the 12 y/o will be here Friday!!!!!
I am going to talk to him on the phone this afternoon. We are all excited!